My Calling

Twenty Eight - Born Again

Tears pool at the corner of my eyes.

“To Asha,” he adds on as he raises his glass.

“To Asha,” everyone mimics back as we all clink glasses.

They then look to me and edge me on for a speech. At first, I refuse but then they start chanting so I have no choice. Grudgingly, I stand up and look at everyone. I take a deep breath and look at Eddie. I thank him for everything and then I thank everyone who has helped me in some way. When I’m done thanking them, I thank them once more so they know I genuinely mean it.

I feel like they want more by the looks they’re giving me so I take another deep breath and pick up my album. “This was a mission in itself to produce but I’m proud of myself as well as my team for meeting the deadline. I’m really happy with how it turned out and I couldn’t have been happier with everything on it.”

I glance down at it and soak in the title of the album I decided on.

‘Born Again’.

“The title of this, it took a long time for me to figure out. I think I really hit the mark with it though. I feel like it represents me well. I’ve been through a few ups and downs in my personal life and as a lot of the public know, I went through a big change in how I portrayed myself a while ago. And I think by releasing this album with this title, it’s saying that I’ve given myself a fresh start. I’ve finally found a balance of my old life and my new life and I think they neatly meet in the middle. I’m not saying I’m perfect now, I’m just saying I’m happy. So yeah, this is album was a big step in my career as well as for me personally so I just want to thank everyone again for helping me. Especially to Simon for giving me this opportunity.”

He tips his head and raises his glass in appreciation. “And I just want to thank you Asha.”

“For what?”

He does that signature smirk. “For reminding me what hard work looks like.”

Everyone, including me, break out in smiles as we all cheer in response. There are congratulations all around again as we celebrate my success. Everybody chats and it’s great, but I really just want some time to myself. So subtly, I murmur for Ally ‘to cover me’ so I can slip out the door. She does it no questions asked and I’m thankful. I manage to get out in one piece with no else seeing. I’m on the top floor of the Syco building, somewhere I’ve only been once. So I let my feet take me wherever. I’m walking slowly down the corridor when I feel a buzzing in my pocket.

I pull out my phone and find it’s a text from Ally saying ‘try the roof, it’s always a nice place to go’.

I smile and make my way to the fire exit. Taking the stairs, I go up until there aren’t any left. And when I push through the door, I’m gobsmacked. The view is amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. Slowly, I walk to the edge of the roof. It isn’t a big area, but there’s enough space for me to safely sit on the edge of the building. The feel of it is something other. Down below, the bustling streets of Hollywood move on, totally unaware of my presence and the thought of that is somewhat calming. It’s like I can just sit here and do whatever I want and no one will know about it. It’s like a whole different mask to what the darkness provides. It seems as if this one is more positive.

Behind me, I hear the faint clicking of a door so I spin around. I’m surprised to see it’s Drew and just like me, he’s surprised too. “Oh shit … sorry, didn’t know it was occupied.”

“Hey no it’s fine,” I reply.

He walks over and sits cross-legged on the ledge with me. “Ally tell you about this place?”