Tortured Hearts : A Collection of One Shots

T O R N

(Added 28/4/2013)

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(Video Starts)

Umm, testing 1 2 3...

(Scraping of chair)

Hi Jeremy (waves with sad smile)

If you're seeing this it means that I am in a better place; a place better than where I live, 243 Fallow road, my so called home.

First let me say Jeremy I am terribly and truly sorry for your disappointment in me, I just could not tell you that I am so broken and irreparable.

My body is broken and my soul ... Jeremy, my soul is in shreds.

I know you never knew this; my deep dark secret, so dark that I see no light at the end.

I am abused Jeremy, mentally and physically everyday for the last nine years by someone that is suppose to protect ,love and cherish me; that monster I call Dad.

"You Bitch!"

That seem to be my name, I was called it more that my actually name. He hated me Jeremy, he hated me so much and I don't why.

Why did he hate me so much, Jeremy, when all I did was love him?

I am so tired Jeremy I am so tired of trying, of waking up everyday and facing another day because for me; it was always the same.

The same venom, the same vile words that cut me so deep, the same kick to my stomach, the same man that despised me to my very shallow core.

Perfect wasn't enough; being me wasn't either.

But I thought things would change, you know. I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But silly me, I guess too many hits to the head finally blinded my view.

I wanted so badly to tell you Jeremy, I wanted you to save me, I wanted you to see but I was my own worst enemy Jeremy, I was playing my part too well. I hide and plastered smiles on my face to show the world the happy teen that was slowly being ate away inside.

I am a shell Jeremy; I am an empty shell with too many cracks, cracks now beyond mending.

I know I failed you, you always saw the best in me that I never saw in my self.

Jeremy, I love you, I love you beyond my empty shell.

You make me feel love, when I thought love was beyond my reach. You saved me, when I thought I was beyond saving. You are my savior.

Your face is what I see when I am in my own world of hell. Your face numbs the pain.

I never understood what you saw in me, I never figured it out. But I am grateful you chose me, I am grateful that you looked at me from across the room when we met.

Jeremy I have tried, I have tried to make it, I remember all the plans and promises we made with each other and I want you to hold those promises dear and close to your heart.

Because you deserve the best, you deserve the world at your feet Jeremy.

(Eyes clouded)

God, I miss my mom, Jeremy, I miss her so much. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and forever live in the memories I shared with Mom.

I miss her smile, her laugh her face, our happy family.

(Looks upon Mother's photo)

Did you know he rid the house of all her pictures, all our memories?

(Stares absent-mindedly)

I wish I could cry, Jeremy, I wish I could just get these tears out. I wish I was different, I wish I was stronger; I wish I was someone else.

(Sobbing)

Jeremy I'll miss you - I'll forever hold you in my heart, and I want you to know that you saved me when you loved me and please know you couldn't have been my knight in shining armor this time.

It's me Jeremy, It's me , I've lost my light and my hope died with mom. Jeremy, I am torn, so torn beyond repair.

So smile for me, live for me, be strong for me and know that I'll always love you even when I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror anymore. Know that you are one of the few certainties in my life.

You are my rock, you are my soul mate but I'm not yours. You will love ferociously beyond me with someone who will love you ferociously in return.

I need you to love with all your heart after I am no more, I want you to grieve for me then you love for me and be happy for me. And know when you feel that sun upon your face; know that's me with my loving embrace forever by your side.

To my dad, Jeremy, ( takes deep breath) please tell him I loved him then and I love him now, and I tried to be the person he wanted me to be and most of all Jeremy, tell him I forgive him.

I forgave him long ago.

Be happy, love and be loved, Jeremy.

This is goodbye, my love.

This is my last plead.

(Blows kisses)

(Smiling)

I love you beyond life.

(Recording ends)

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Author's note: Please vote/ comment if you've read this, your thoughts are very appreciated. Everyday someone loses the fight . Words can heal and it can break us, so let's prevent what happens here with more kind words.