Aries: We should go bomb an orphanage.
Taurus: I'm not stubborn... I'm right.
Gemini: You can't make lemonade from just lemons though.
Cancer: I'm not alone this Valentines day... I got Ben and Jerry with me.
Leo: My eyelashes are longer than his dick.
Virgo: This is the crappiest map to ever crap a crap.
Libra: Guys can we just be serious for one second?
Scorpio: It's not really stalking... It's more like research for our future together.
Sagittarius: I mean, I'm hot. He's hot. We should just fuck already.
Capricorn: Does this make me look like I know what I'm doing? *Writes random words down in notebook*
Aquarius: *In response to Libra* I really like grasshoppers.
Pisces: Wait? Are Sea Bears an actual thing? Or?
