Rebel (SVU Fanfic)

13

It was a very awkward and sad silence for all. Olivia entered, holding back her tears, and her daughter did the same, after wiping the ones that had already escaped.

"M-Mom..." Nicole said, barely above a whisper.

"I'm your mother," Olivia started. Nicole was fearing the worst, though her mother was not going to yell or be condescending any time soon. She was hurt. "You can come to me no matter what's happening. What you've done or what you're doing. You come to me. I get what you did what you did for. I know you're upset and you hate me. It's okay."

"I don't hate you," immediately popped out of Nicole's mouth. Gradually, Elliot stood and let himself out as Olivia came closer. She sat with her daughter, holding her arms around us.

"I should know that. You should know I would never hate you either. Looks like we need to work on that. Nicki, I know I didn't make anything easy. You don't know anything about me. I haven't watched over you by myself...probably ever. I know, your dad took care of you. He got you to school and home. He packed your lunches. He took care of you when you were sick. He...He was amazing. I'll probably never admit that again, but he was. You knew him and he knew you. But not me."

It was getting hard for Olivia to explain herself. She had to tell her daughter so much in so little time. And nothing, she knew, that she said would make up for the 15 years she was barely around for.

"Look, I know. I know you don't know who I am at all. That's my fault. I chose the job instead of my kids. I chose to move you guys even though, if I pleaded enough, I could've gotten you all to stay. I know I pushed your father to those hookers. And believe me, you will never understand how sorry I am for all of it. And that doesn't even help, to just say I'm sorry. But I plan on making it up. And to start, I'm getting you out of that school and I'll enroll you somewhere else. So this-" she took her daughter's face in her hands, motioning to the black eye and bruises nose, "-never happens again."

Nicole loved the sound of that. "Okay," she said.

Her mother was unhappy with the little response, but was happy she got a response at all. Nicole allowed Olivia to hug her tight, even against her throbbing face. When they pulled away from each other, Nicole asked, "Why now?"

Olivia was confused. And dreading this opportunity for her daughter to change her emotion on the subject. "What?"

"Why now? Like, I get that you probably didn't realize all this until these past couple of weeks, but why this exact moment? You go home and go to work whenever you feel like it and you're not the same strict person I always knew you were."

Olivia knew she had to tell her daughter. How could she not? She needed to know. Hell, her daughter's friend just went through something so unbearable. Here was way less worse in comparison, but it still didn't make it right.

"Something happened on my undercover job," Olivia told Nicole quietly.

"What?" Nicole asked, sensing it was not anything good. How could it be?

"I was assaulted. Nearly raped," Olivia admitted after what felt like an eternity to the both of them.

Nicole, obviously, didn't know what to say. She just opened her arms and the two hugged tightly.

What a crazy, messed up world they were living in. Not even just the rapes. Which was terrible, to understate, but just...everything. They were a broken family, living in a place none of them know or remember, trying to figure out how to make it all work. It really isn't working. And it's taking its toll. Hard.

"I'm gonna make it right," Olivia said seriously. "I am. I'm gonna make it all alright for us."

And for once, her daughter believed her.

They stayed in each other's arms for a couple more minutes, but then Nicole's alarm went off, making them both jump. The girl quickly found and slide her finger across her phone so it stopped beeping.

"I have to go get Zach from the bus and Paige from-"

"I'll do it," Olivia said. If she was to be a better mother, she had to start doing things like this. "Unless you wanna cry with?"

Nicole wanted to, but her face. Her injuries. She shook her head. "I'll stay here."

"Okay," Olivia said.

~•~

The next day, Olivia had come in late - and by late, it was meant she was only here a half hour early as opposed to an hour.

"Hey, Olivia," Cragen said.

"Hey, Cap," Olivia replied in her normal tone. This also confused her boss. If she had ever been late, there was a family problem. Or just a problem in general.

Soon after, Elliot came in. Olivia got up quickly and approached.

"I need to talk to you," Olivia said, sound very serious. This scared Elliot, much to his surprise.

They went to the stairwell at the end of the hall nobody ever uses. As private is the cribs is, it isn't. People make rumors.

When the door closed, Elliot saw her expression and knew it was all he didn't expect: tears.

"What's..." escaped him before Olivia threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," she mumble-cried into Elliot's shoulder.

"For what?" Elliot asked. He left just after Olivia got home with the younger kids. Why did she need to say thanks?

"Everything! You gave me my daughter back. You gave me all my children back. You gave me my life back," she blurted to him before quietly sobbing.

"I didn't do anything," Elliot insisted. He had only ever had three co cessation a with her daughter. I mean, she was in a tough spot, but really? Was it worse than he thought?

Elliot rubbed circles into Olivia's back. "It was nothing. Don't worry about it."

"It wasn't nothing, Elliot! Do you not get that?!"

Elliot pulled away a little. "Liv, to me, it was just helping out a little. It wasn't anything much. It's okay. No more crying."

Elliot wiped her cheeks with his thumbs simultaneously. Olivia nodded, accepting his touches. But she still had some stuff on her mind.

"How do I fix it?" she asked. "Nicole can't keep going to that school. I'm not going to be able to bring her to school and home. None of my kids. I-"

"Baby steps, Liv. Now. What's the most important issue right now?"

"My daughter is refusing to go anywhere until her injuries heal. The-"

"So transfer her!"

"Where?!" Olivia asked, a little louder than him.

"Mountain Elk High," Elliot said I. An instant. "Lizzie and Dickie go there."

It sounded so perfect. They wouldn't even have to move to a new house. Though she wanted to. So, so much.

"Baby steps," Elliot repeated. "Start with just that. Nothing more. Nothing less, just that."

Without realizing it, they had both shifted to welcome each other. Elliot was cradling the side of Olivia head and her arms had dropped to his waist, wrapping around his torso.

"Okay," Olivia answered quietly.

"You're doing fine, Liv. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be."

When he would direct her, it wasn't so bad. But when she had to do it on her own, it wasn't easy at all.

She needed him.