Chapter Thirteen: Not Unless You're Sober

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Dipper looked at himself in the mirror, cringing at the sight of the ugly Christmas sweater he was wearing. Boy, it really was ugly. It had a pine tree on the front and there were sparkles all over it, and it was a dark blue color. He hated it. That's it, he was saying something.

"It's horrible," he said, and Mabel laughed from outside the bathroom.

"That's the point, you nitwit," the female twin retorted. "And that's good, anyway. It's supposed to look ugly. Now come out so we can see you."

"No," Dipper replied, and made a move to take it off.

"Awe, come on, Pine Tree," Bill cooed, and Dipper sighed, putting the sweater back on and walking out of the bathroom.

Mabel looked at him and burst out into a laughing fit, holding her sides. "Oh mai gosh," she breathed, "I think I might've made yours a little too ugly." Then she started laughing again, then stopping suddenly. "Ow, that hurts!" She fell onto the ground and started to rub her aching sides.

Deciding to ignore her, Dipper looked up at Bill, waiting for his opinion. The demon only stared at him for a long moment, and Dipper took a deep breath. Yeah, he kinda figured he wouldn't like it.

"You look cute," Bill finally said after a moment, planting a kiss on his forehead. "Very adorabke." Then he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself, adding, "Nunc fac get ilia mea." Dipper laughed and Mabel looked at her brother in confusion, then shrugged it off and got to her feet.

"When can someone teach me Latin?" she complained, and looked at Dipper hopefully.

"I'm not teaching you. It's hard enough to learn, I don't think it would be any easier to teach. Besides, I don't think you'd pick up on it quickly," Dipper said, and Bill laughed from the other side of the door. Mabel only crossed her arms and stormed off in a fit. Ceasing his laugher, Dipper turned to the door and knocked on it. "You done in there? I wanna see you~"

"Hold on, my little tree," Bill replied, and after a moment or two he walked out in his sweater. It was a horrible shade of yellow and it had a candy cane on the front and another on the back- not to mention it was a little big on Bill. Dipper covered his mouth, trying to hide a laugh, but he soon released, bursting out in laughter. Bill poked his side and said, "Hey, I know you like it, kid," and pulled him into a hug.

They hugged for a few minutes before Mabel walked back, clearing her throat. Dipper quickly pulled out of the hug to look at his sister, who also had her ugly sweater on. It had a bunch of cute on it, and it was colored brightly. "Wow," Dipper forced out, "that's the worst one." Then he suddenly added, "But we all look like garbage."

Bill grinned. "Nah, I think you look just fine, Pine Tree," he replied, and wrapped arm around the young man's shoulders. "Now, let's head to that party, huh?"

"Wait," Dipper said, "what about Mom and Dad?"

Mabel shrugged. "They're in the attic getting their ugly sweaters on. Hold on, I'll go get them." Then she rushed to the attic and came back a few minutes later with their parents, who were both wearing their ugly sweaters.

Dipper's father noticed Bill and nodded, "Hello there, you must be Mabel and Dipper's friend." The Pines' parents had gotten to the Shack about an hour earlier but Bill and Dipper were too busy on a hunt to say hi until just then. "William, an I right?"

"Right," Bill replied, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again. He shook Mr. Pines' hand and turned to look at Mrs. Pines. "Hello to you too," he added, and shook her hand as well. Then he looked back at Dipper. "So what's Fez gonna do? Is he coming or not?"

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