Diary of an Asian Kid

15 Feb 2011

4. Snakes are your enemies. Note their size and their proximity to the house.

5. Mountains are your ambitions. The higher and larger they are, the more ambitious you are.

6. The river represents your life. As an example, a waterfall means a very exciting life.

All these things are mainly to test your understanding of yourself, and should be taken with a grain of salt. It was quite good fun.

Dreadfully, the next period was PE. And, seeing as it's the first week of school, we'll have to divide into teams again. I hate it when we have to divide into teams for anything; I am always, always left out, ever since the 8th grade. I spent the better part of the time I had to go to counseling talking about it (the other part was that I had no one to partner with during badminton, which was also part of PE); I was that upset.

PE completely lived up to my horrible expectations for it. And more.

First, of course, we had to divide into four groups. As we're only doing swimming and jump-roping this semester, and there are no contests, the teacher said to let us choose our teammates ourselves. Four people had to volunteer to be the team leader, and they took turns choosing people. All of them were boys, none of which I was friendly enough with.

To put a long story short, I was the last one in the whole of my goddamned class to get chosen. Actually, that doesn't count as choosing, as no one did it of their own free will. At least, Shaun, Ben, and Martin were all on my group. I'm not sure if I can count on any of them for company, though. That's the irritating thing with boys. I can get along pretty well with them when we're in groups, or on field trips, and had they been girls, they'd definitely have been counted as my friends (hold the thought. Martin doesn't count). However, they're not, and boys are generally not as liable to label someone as their 'friend' and stick with them.

I haven't had a friend like that in class since primary school. During the 5th and 6th grades, Alice and I were inseparable. Whenever we had to pair up, or divide into groups, as long as it's of our own free will, we'd be with each other. Even when it was done by the teacher, we managed to mostly get ourselves on the same team. We did a lot of projects together; in fact, of all the many projects we had to do, we were on separate groups only once. I've never been that close to anyone since. I was on very good terms with Debbie from the 7th grade through most of the 8th grade, but she is different. She prefers to sit there and wait for people to ask her to join their group, and I'm not always invited. That is why I HATE groups in school with a passion.

Being the last to be picked, in and out of itself, wasn't the thing that tore me up most inside. It had happened to me before, after all. I am currently trying to put all matters regarding groups aside, and look at how well I've done! Why, my current approach, 'Sit-there-and-forget-about-doing-anything-and-just-let-nature-take-it's-course', is working wonders. Look at the Flora Expo. Look at this group. Just don't think about how I came to be in here.

What really upset me was after that, during the free time (gasp of dread). We had a choice of either basketball or badminton, so of course all the boys immediately chose basketball and went and spread themselves out over a couple of courts in the gym.

The girls all went into bunches or pairs playing badminton.

No one invited me anywhere.

I wasn't about to force myself on anyone, as I'm no good in either of those sports. Even though, as I keep mentioning, I've played basketball before, I really haven't done it in a long time and I think I'm so bad it's a bit embarrassing.

As a consequence, I mostly just ambled around, finally settling on the edge of the stage to watch a couple of boys play. After the initial moment of choking that preludes tears, I managed to stop myself from crying or sobbing. I don't want to be a receiver of pity.

Why, just why couldn't we be on the court? It was dry enough, wasn't it? If we were outdoors, I could go run laps, and I'll both feel much better (I hate inactivity as well, remember?) and get some exercise.

It didn't help that the next period was Math.

And when I got out of school, I couldn't find Alice anywhere (the only time I'd seen her in the afternoon was a brief time during the cleaning period. I told her about PE and almost cried. Again). What, is my luck that bad?

So I went to the 7-Eleven to buy something. Well, not exactly. They have an activity where, when you spend a certain amount of money (in this case, 66NT or 2USD), you get points. In stickers. Get enough stickers and you can exchange them for a figure, of Hello Kitty or their own mascots or whatever. It's usually very cute, and since Dad goes to 7-Eleven quite often (for lunch or dinner during weekends), we almost always have some stickers. This time round it was 8 stickers plus 39NT for a pretty Hello Kitty pendant, with a lot of different designs, like calculators, cell phone cases, and such. I'd already got one before, and I quite like them. The quality is okay, too. So I exchanged one. Sadly, they don't let you choose which pendant you'd like, as they are all in identical small boxes with no distinguishing marks.

When I got home, I found out that the thing I'd ordered on the online store had arrived! In two days! It is remarkably efficient. I'd ordered a silicon watch strap for my new iPod Nano 6. It was too big for me, however, so I had to poke another hole in it for me to be able to wear it properly.

I have ridiculously small hands and feet, and my wrists aren't thick, either. It's genetics all over again, because both Grandpa and Grandma have small hands and feet. Yup, even with that, I still play the piano. It's hard going, though. I'd only started to be able to manage a paltry octave in the 8th grade. And I can't play continuous octaves without breaking off after each one. It is seriously irritating, but I've long since become accustomed to it.