Diary of an Asian Kid

12 Jan 2011

Okay, this is a certified rant. Don't say I didn't warn you.

12 January 2011, Wednesday's

It's not even the first period yet, and I'm already seething. Joan and Pam (two of my classmates), with latter usually collecting our student diaries (in which we all have to record today's homework/tomorrow's tests) on the podium right in front of me, started telling me that sometimes I recorded the marks for the morning/night tests wrong, or when Joan and Elaine (they're best friends, and in my column) were away to clean the toilets (that's our assigned outdoor cleaning area), I didn't record theirs at all.

At first I was stunned by what they were saying, and at the hostile tone of their voices. But once I registered what they were saying, I got steadily angrier and angrier. That was the worst thing they could do when confronting me: by talking to me that way they washed away any guilt I might have had, replacing it with indignation. That's just how I am. I do not like being challenged.

They then proceeded to say that because of my mistakes, Elaine had been badly scolded by her mother a few times. The whole time, I was wondering if Elaine even knew about this, and if she did, why not tell me herself? And Pam had nothing whatsoever to do with it. They wanted strength of numbers, I suppose. And Elaine is not the type of person who really confronts anything. You could say that she doesn't have nearly the amount of guts that Joan seems to have. I wonder how they stay together.

I told them that they have to keep track of their own marks. I always repeat the marks I heard as I write it down. I narrowly stopped myself from yelling out, "Do you THINK I want to record the stupid marks? Do you THINK I want to be in the bloody first row? HAVE YOU THOUGHT AT ALL?" Of course, the answer is no. They couldn't have begun to consider how I felt (They have a past record. Once, during a big cleaning session, they reduced Ann to tears because they felt that she didn't show up for enough of the time and they had to do her work for her. Martin had to go and comfort her for a long time; I think they were rather over the top).

When it was done, I could hear them muttering, "What's she got to be angry about?" like I wasn't right in front of them. I guess either they're really mean, or clueless, or think that because I was reading a book it meant I couldn't hear them. Well, sad to inform you, I'm not exactly deaf to the world when I'm buried in a book.

Forget them, forget them. These kinds of things are not worth worrying about.

Later, during fifth period (which, on Wednesdays, is a test period too. Usually for math), Miss Chen told me that, because sometimes my numbers are read/recorded wrongly, Ann will be in charge of recording the marks from now on. I felt both relieved and insulted. I mean, my handwriting's not so horrible, is it? I've seen plenty worse than mine. Besides, bad handwriting runs in my family.

But I didn't ask for this, did I? I definitely didn't ask to be put in the first row. Second would have done just as well. I suppose, after this, I'll probably never sit in the first row until the BCs are finished. Which is fine by me.

Eighth period was Math. I usually finish the tests that our teacher throws at us quite quickly. After that, I try to pull out whichever book I'm currently reading to read. Unfortunately, the teacher sits at the podium right in front of me. Whenever he sees that I've finished, he'd give me another one. And not even necessarily the one we're supposed to be doing next.

When I objected, he said, "This is going to be homework later, anyway, so no harm done." I should add that most everyone in my class never does their math homework if they can help it, except for a few ridiculously hard-working people (I only do it if I have too much spare time on my hands), since (A) We do enough of it in school and (B) Mr. Xu (oh, and he's the form teacher of 911, Jenny's class) never punishes us if we don't do it. He mostly employs a 'get additional points if you actually do your homework' tactic towards us.

I retorted, "But I don't like doing math."

Leo, who was sitting behind me, agreed. "Yeah, who likes to do math?"

Mr. Xu merely replied, "Then do more exercises."

We all sighed and shook our heads, as we are wont to do when he goes off about either the importance of math or studying more of it.

He is actually quite a good teacher. At least since he started teaching us, my grades have risen from seventy/eighty to ninety/full marks. I'm grateful for him, actually (well, sometimes), and he's really funny, whenever he's talking about his accomplishments/height (which is not tall).

I walked into the night study classroom to find my dad there gnawing on a cupcake. I'd completely forgotten that he was on duty tonight! It surprised me rather. But mostly, I ignored him and he ignored me, so it was fine. I spent some time penning the reply to the letter from Singapore.

During break, I mostly hung around the third floor corridors with Jenny (Tiffany goes to night study on all weekday nights except Wednesday). After a bit, I got bored and went back to the classroom to get out The Hunger Games again to read (I finished it tonight. Really good, but there's a bit too much angst for my taste, and since it's in a series, the ending was a cliffhanger) and watch two boys wrestle. They've done it before, and there is always a crowd gathering to watch them.

Today was Wednesday, which meant that Christopher had night study too. I usually try to find him and walk home together; it's good to have company. He was earlier than usual this time, so I had to run a bit to catch up with him before he got to hiss bike (once he's on it, I don't have a chance of catching him, since I don't much fancy yelling his name right there on the street. It's nine at night, for heaven's sake).

And yes, this did mean declining a ride home from my dad, though I didn't tell him why. Later, I just said I liked walking home in winter. Which I do, really.

Anyway, I got a preview of next semester's Science and Math from Christopher, because his cram school (like most of them) has already started on future chapters. I couldn't say that I look forward to those two subjects. I like Science, but don't do so well at it. But my Math is quite okay (I can easily get above ninety during major tests) even though I heartily dislike it. It's much better now, since my grades are better, but I did use to hate Math vehemently.

Christopher said that he's under a lot of pressure right now. Don't we all know it. BCs (or any major life-changing exams, for example) can really wreck the whole of Grade 9. I always feel a cloud of pressure hovering somewhere about me. Consider: we've had almost no respite during the summer and winter breaks this year. And don't even think about actual school.

Since last time, when we accidentally forgot the time and stood at the corner talking until ten thirty (when his dad turned up looking for him)-yes, we talked for that long, about what, I'm still not really sure-Christopher has been much better with the time (and yes, I'm the one with the watch). Sigh. I can't tell if he likes me or not. I mean, he certainly chats enough with me, but he's the sort that can strike up a conversation with almost anybody. At least he talks to me for the longest. Other times, I feel like just another girl he knows. Whatever.