Cold Ashes

Chapter 19 - Catalyst

Hello, Ryan.

Dad..? Where are we?

You already know. You always did.

I'm... dead.

Yes.

So that's it. This - that was how it ended.

If that's what you want.

What?

It's not over until you want it to be.

You need to let us go, Ryan. You need to forgive yourself and move on.

But... But I killed him, Dad. I murdered Alan, my own brother! How the hell can I forgive that?!

I don't know. But he doesn't want you to keep thinking that you could've saved him. 'Cause no matter what you think, he's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back.

Yeah. But I guess it doesn't matter now. There's no way back, right?

No. Not yet.

What are you saying? If I'm not dead how am I talking to you?

Because you're in between. There's nothing here and never will be, just you and me.

So, what, I have a choice now?

In a way.

But, Dad, I don't want to live anymore. I just want to go back to my family!

What about Leah?

What about her?

We both know what'll happen if you don't do something to help her.

It's... her problem. Not mine.

She's a prisoner.

I don't know her and I don't care.

You were always a terrible liar, Ryan. And even I can see it now that you're not telling me the truth.

Look, she's probably given up on me. Left me with those arseholes that took us in the first place, put a bullet in my brain and ran. If she's smart she would've run.

Trust her.

I do... did.

Why d'you say that? Why don't you trust her anymore?

Because you think I'm still alive. And if I am she didn't keep her promise.

She still can. But it's entirely up to you.

Why d'you think I wanna go back?

Why d'you want to give her that guilt like you do with Alan?

That's different-

Is it?

Dad, come on... Just let me go with you. Let me go home.

It's not your time yet. Not now.

Soon?

Yes. Soon.

I don't want to go back... I don't want to face her.

She's kept you alive just as you've kept her alive. She trusts you. She's your friend - your last friend in the world and if you go now, then she'll be a prisoner for the rest of her life. Go and help her, Ryan.

...Is that true? Will she not be able to escape if I don't go back?

I cannot say. All I can tell you is that your Leah will be lost forever if you don't go back.

Okay... Alright I'll go back.

Don't worry, Ryan. Don't be scared.

I'm not.