three

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••• "Hey, you okay?" I heard Halsey shout before walking up to me to check up.

"Uh.. Yeah! Yeah I'm fine thanks.." I whispered, choking on the fog in my throat that fought to reach my tear ducts.

She places both hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in my uneasy eyes.

"What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled just as strongly.

"Just being back is kinda overwhelming you know?"

The guilt ran through my body.

Lying to one of the only people who care about you is extremely difficult, and I really didn't want to live like this forever.

Her hands slowly wrapped around me into a soft hug, and her words muffled being hidden by the thickness of my hair. "I know.."

I raised my arms under hers to indicate that It was okay for her to let go.

"Want to eat lunch under the bleachers? You know.. Like old times?" She asked readjusting her backpack.

I hesitated to ask but said the first thing that came to mind. "Will.. Uhm, Brendon be there..?"

Her eyebrows pressed together plastering the confusion over her face. "Yeah. Is that okay?"

I pulled my hair behind my ear while my eyes were glued to the ground.

"Yeah! Of course. I was just curious. I'll try to make it."

She smiled sweetly and whispered, "okay. Love you. See you at lunch."

"Bye."

Once I realized she was gone I broke down and let my back fall down to the ground as it was pressed against the lockers.

I knew I was doing something wrong. Keeping secrets from everyone.

Sometimes I thought I was okay with that. I mean, if the secret stays hidden nothing could go wrong, right?

To he honest, that's what hurts so much more. It hurts just as much to keep it hidden.

Although, I knew how important it was to make sure it was kept away and never thought of again.

Then again, I left for the same reason. Lying. Lying to myself and about myself.

I still am lying.

I'm still dealing with my own issues. I know I'm still not okay, I just really know how to hide it.

* * * *

The lunch bell had rung and I was already at the vending machine grabbing what I wanted for lunch.

Crowds of people waited behind me while I was having trouble getting the bag of chips to fall.

Apparently hitting the side as hard as you could wasn't the right thing to do in this type of situation.

I was just about to give up when suddenly someone from behind me walked over and picked the machine up and tilted it at just the right angle for it to fall.

I heard the plastic hit the metal flooring of the machine and snatched it out of the bottom opening.

"You're welcome Harley."

I looked up to see Brendon leaning against the side smiling.

I looked down, "Thanks."

Walking away, I tried avoiding the people surrounding me. When I ran right into a few of his friends supposedly blocking me from leaving the crowd.

"Hey! You're back! Nice to see that you're alive." Alex hissed.

I nervously stuck my hands in my pockets unsure of what to do.

"We were all pretty scared. I mean, you go missing without even saying goodbye? How rude."

We made eye contact. His piercing green eyes flushed away every single bit of self esteem I had left in me.

"And they finally send you back? Guess the straight jacket wasn't as tight as they wanted it to be."

He grabbed everyone's attention. Leaving the crowd silent. So quiet i could smell the fear all around me.

"So they give you even more pills? Wow, that must have been a terrible mistake, I bet you've had a lot more than you should have already."

Brendon chuckled, showing how little of a heart he has.

"Stop it Alex." I retorted.

He laughed to himself and walked in closer.

I struggled to escape, but only left him even more frustrated.

"I'm just being a good friend. I wanted to check up on you after you got back from the mental hospital."

I but my lip, drowning in humiliation about to lose it.

"Hey how are your wrists doing? Have the scars been patched up? Or maybe they haven't, I mean it's getting a little to warm to be wearing a hoodie."

I tried fighting all the things I wanted to say, but only held them back. I felt the fog rising back in my throat, almost close enough to hit me.

I saw a quick shade of purple behind his back before hearing someone shout, "Just stop it Alex!"

Tears watered my eyes, leaving everything blurry for a moment before I started to cry.

Halsey walked in between him and Brendon to stop the issue.

"What the hell Bren?" She yelled.

He tried comforting her by grabbing her hands. "Babe I had nothi-"

"Save it. I told you about what happened because I trusted you, no so that you would tell the whole school. Harley didn't deserve this and you know that. So just go away. I don't want to talk to you."

She pushed him away and pulled me with her to the end of the hallway to avoid a crowd.

I tried clearing my mascara but only succeeded in smudging it.

"Look, in sorry, I didn't mean t-"

I cut her off, "No. I get it. It's fine. Just.. I have to go. I'll see you later.."

Turning away, I sprinted to the other side of the hallway passing the vending machine and the guys.

"Harley! I'm sorry!" Halsey shouted, trying to keep up.

"Harley please!"

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