Take Me Beyond Me (boyxboy)

Epilogue

Pic of Nolan

Here's a nice short epilogue cuz let's face it...nvm I dunno what we're facing. Proceed.

Shane**

For the first time since my father died, things were changing for the better. My mom and my new dad were happily married and away on the honeymoon, I had a new house, and finally had a sibling which I'd kind of always wanted.

Actually, pause.

It was extremely weird having my ex boyfriend as my 'big brother', but if there was anything Nolan taught me, it was to be grateful. At least my mother was happy; that was the bright side I liked to look toward.

Darren and I were on better terms and we put the past in the past, not only for our parents' sake, but for ours. We'd both been in therapy for about three months now. Personally speaking, I couldn't believe I'd lived my life without seeing a psychologist. I could feel a big shift in my overall mood, and despite my sadness at the fact I hadn't seen Jace, I was... okay. I was okay. I'm getting there.

I spent most of my time with Elaine, her friends, and Nolan--and I also got an insight to what his life was really like when he wasn't in school. Having to suffer sleepless nights, panic attacks, and frequent doctor visits. I felt so bad for him, and even worse that he was always misunderstood. He was seen as the always happy, chilled, laid back Nolan. I got to see the angry, frustrated side, but mostly the thoughtful, gentle, caring side of him. Anytime I was around, he was calmer. No trembling and no hyperventilating. Jace was right about that.

Nolan would surprise me with a nice dinner or anything to make me feel better. He would be so cheerful, so thoughtful... and at some point, I started to realize how much I enjoyed his company.

I lifted a fist to knock on Nolan's bedroom door. "Guess who?" I sang as it opened. There he was, tired eyes and all, but for some reason he still managed to radiate like the sun when a smile settled on his face.

"I didn't know you were coming!" he exclaimed, allowing me inside. I held up a bag of brownies I'd baked.

"I didn't know either, but I heard you had a pretty bad panic attack last night. Here, I brought your favorite snack."

"Yay. Thank you," he appreciated. "You didn't have to come, you know." He sat down on his bed, turning down the music he'd been playing.

"Are you kidding? Not doing anything better. Besides," I joined him on the bed while he took a bite from a brownie. "It beats being stuck in the house with Darren all day. He invited Tyler over. Two of my exes under one roof." I shuddered.

Nolan just laughed at my ordeal, which made me smile. I recognized the music he was playing and raised my eyebrows. "Isn't this Dawn's? You gave me this CD once."

"Oh. Yeah, it is." He faced me a little bit, with his legs crossed. "I used to play it almost everyday, and I'd cry. Now... well, this is the first time I'm playing it in like a month, and I don't cry over it anymore. Do you think that's strange?"

I softly smiled in understanding. "You still miss her. But it's hurting less and less. That's what happens when you find something or someone else that... fills another place in your heart. You'll never forget her, of course, but you can start moving forward. Believe me, I know."

"Hm." He blinked, putting his half-eaten brownie back in its bag before setting it aside. "I wonder what.. or who that might be," he quietly said.

I swallowed with a one-shoulder shrug.

"When's the last time you cried over your father, if I may ask you?"

We looked at each other, then I thought about his question. "Therapy definitely helped me. It still hurts like a bitch, but... maybe a month ago. I've been feeling a lot better lately."

"That's good." He nodded with a bright smile. "I'm glad. And thanks for coming here; you kind of take my breath away and help me breathe at the same time." He chuckled nervously, shaking his head at himself. His cheeks flushed. "Sorry. You didn't need to know that."

I blinked at him and he steadied his gaze. "No, no it's... it's fine." I remember promising Jace I would take Nolan out on two dates. Though we never talked about when that would be, I never did quite follow through on my promise.

It was very long overdue.

"Nolan. Would you... do you wanna go somewhere? Like out to eat or a movie?"

He appeared stunned that I'd even ask. It was clear he thought it was too good to be true when he asked, "You mean with Elly, right? Just to hang out?"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "No. You and me. Like a date."

"Oh. Wow, um yes. Thought you'd never ask... literally." His demeanor shifted, and like before, he was radiating again. He stared at me for a few seconds while I watched the gears turning in his head, and before I knew it, his lips grazed mine.

I thought I would pull away, but I liked it more than I should've. Was this inevitable? Were we always bound to kiss? Was I always going to enjoy it? He seemed hesitant at first, but was encouraged by the fact I didn't let go. I cupped his cheek, pressing a bit further into him. I could only describe the kiss as sweet, and it was almost like he was telling me a story of how much he cared for me, all in this moment.

When we pulled away, he took a surprised breath while my mind raced. I couldn't help but think about Jace, who I hadn't seen in 3 months.

Damn it. Damn my foolish heart.