Take Me Beyond Me (boyxboy)

*24*

I joined my friends in the cafeteria for lunch after spending a couple minutes with Shane. Nolan saved me a seat as he promised. Kaleb was seated right across me as usual, and there were the other guys surrounding us: Brock, Alan, Jordan, Spencer, other jocks and, unfortunately, Darren. Kane wasn't here. The cheerleaders were with us also, so the four long tables we used were full. Everyone was chatting and spreading gossip, so it was just the usual day. Or so I thought.

"I was gonna tell the team about you and Shane Cooper, but I needed the go-ahead from you first," Kaleb spoke up, looking at me. I blew out a sigh and groaned.

"Will you shut up about him for once? For once, Kaleb!" I shot, grabbing some unwanted attention. I shrunk back in my seat as K smirked.

"I don't want to. I mean, we're all friends, we deserve to know who your new love interest is."

"Bruh," Jordan grimaced.

"He's not my love interest, K. Drop it," I denied. Nolan glanced at me and bit his lower lip.

"I'm not dropping anything. What're you trying to hide, Jace? If you're afraid of coming out, I can help you and tell everyone. That way, you wouldn't have to do it yourself. That okay?"

My face burned. "Shut up, Kaleb. I'm not gay."

Darren snorted and I rolled my eyes at him.

"But you're dating Shane...right?" Kaleb continued.

Nolan gave me an apologetic look. I knew what that meant. I had to fight my own battle right now, which was understandable.

"Tell us, Jace," Kaleb urged. "I mean, think about it. What would your mom think if you were dating some loner kid?"

"He...he's not a loner, he's just..." I mumbled.

"Come again? He's just what?" Kaleb raised an eyebrow.

"Cut it out, Kaleb," Nolan defended me.

"Stay out of this. Dammit, just say yes or no, Jace. But like I said, you think about it. What about your mom? Your dad? Everyone's gonna look at you like trash if you like that guy! Your future is more important, and he will only take that away from you. Is that what you want?"

I stared at my food. I wasn't ready. And if I were, I was not coming out in these terms. "We're not dating, Kaleb. I don't know what you're talking about."

After I said that, Nolan got up. "I'm going to the library, guys." Then he left. I knew he was upset. I also knew he wanted to stick up for me, but he couldn't. I wouldn't let him do that.

"I want to believe you," Kaleb remarked. "I mean, I even told the guys you were only with Shane to find out stuff about him, like we planned to, remember? But they don't believe me."

I shrugged. "I said it. We're not dating, and that's that." I looked at Darren from the corner of my eye and saw him glaring at me. I didn't blame him. He was probably happy inside, feeling like he had the upper hand now. Well, he did. I was worse than him. I was a coward, and I couldn't defend myself no matter how strong I made myself think I was.

Kaleb leaned forward. "How come you always go to that abandoned classroom past the English hall?" Kaleb whispered to me. "No. How come you always go there... two or three minutes after Shane?"

My heart beat accelerated. I wanted to crawl into a ball and evaporate. He knew about that. What else did he know?

"How come your mom hits you? And starves you?" Kaleb continued to whisper to only me.

My breath halted. How...

"She... no, she doesn't." I fidgeted with my shirt as my face heated up. My eyes burned, and I suddenly wished Nolan hadn't left. Clearly he was the only true friend I had left on this team.