Not one of them

Chapter 14

As the film ends I find myself lying on Connor's lap while he is playing with my hair. And when the credits come on I find that I don't want to move and that I'm happy where I am.

"Connor stay with me like this for a while." He nods his head and strokes my cheek.

"What's up?"

"I have to go back to school, to finish off my courses for exams in May. But at the same time I don't want to go back to school. After everything that's happened, I feel too abnormal to go back to school." And not just because my mother had died, I was a creature of the night

"I'll help you and after school I'll tutor you. Stay here as long as you want to okay." I nod my head and sit up. "I'll be back soon okay. I forgot I need to grab your phone. Do you have any idea where it would be in your house?" I shake my head. Last time I saw it, it was on the floor. "Fantastic, I'll find it. If you get hungry, raid the kitchen. My mother will be in all day." He gets up and leaves swiftly. As I sit in silence, I can hear Alice upstairs, humming to herself. I think about going up to see her but I decide against it. Instead I go outside and sit on the swing. I always wanted a swing, but I never did get one.

I watch the sun rise into the middle of the sky then notice Connor pulling up. And when he gets out, he's not holding my phone.

"I looked everywhere, it's not there."

"Crap." Someone must have taken it.

"You look a little tanned," he says and holds my hand. "How long have you been out here for?"

"A few hours maybe, I don't know. I felt like an intruder. Can we get some food?" Connor nods and leads me inside. We sit in silence as we ate egg and cress sandwiches. His mother pops in to grab cookies then leaves again and Connor tells me she usually goes to the library. For some reason, I really missed Damien, even though I hated him, I missed him so much and Rosetta and that big house and my mother. God I missed her so much. I miss her laugh and our talks and her burnt toast and when she would come in after work and makes so much noise cause she wanted to tell me of her day.

I hadn't realised but I was crying on the counter and Connor was holding me. I can't stop crying, it just keeps coming, fountains and waterfalls, the sea. I'm surprised the room isn't underwater.

"Breathe it's okay Selena. I know it's really hard, you've been letting this build up for too long. Come." He takes my hand and pulls me out the room and up the stairs and into the room where he stands me against his bed. I bite my lip and dry my eyes slowly.

"You're biting your lip." He kisses me quickly and sucks on my lower lip slowly, pulling it out with his teeth.

"Connor," I stutter but he shushes me and turns me around, snaking his arm around my waist and closing the gap between us. He holds me in his firm embrace, leaving small soft kisses on my neck, his hot breath making my knees weak. But he holds me up and holds me tight.

"Connor," I try again but he puts his finger on my lip and holds my chin up so he had freedom to roam my neck. I look at the door and imagine Damien running through. But of course he doesn't. Next thing I know, I'm on the bed, falling through the covers on the water bed and Connor is on top of me, kissing me with force, gripping my sides tightly.

"Connor!" I yell angrily, making him stop in his path. "What are you doing?" He blinks a few times in recognition and lies down next to me, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling my close to his hard chest.

"I don't know what came over me." He fell asleep soon after and after staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, I finally do as well.

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I woke in the middle of the night to snoring beside me. A bright light is coming from outside and I rope around the room grabbing my top, bra and pants. I walk outside quickly and before I know it, my wolf has taken over me, my bones cracking back into place, my clothes ripped on the floor. She runs off and I can't keep track of where we are. The trees go by in a blur, the moon the only light source that was constant. I'm free and nothing is going to stop me...

I open my eyes to early morning. I turn onto my side... and fall off my bed. I sit up, trying to figure out what has happened to the water bed, when I realise that I'm on my bedroom floor. My clothes are flung in corners, my makeup lay untouched still. My laptop is collecting dust. I can't recollect how I have gotten here and why I'm naked. I grab a plain tank top and jumper out of my closet and pull them on slowly. The last time I was in this house... I busy myself downstairs making toast. The house is quiet, too quiet. I'm used to people talking, yelling, loudness that would overwhelm me, the panic, and the thrill. The crackling of bacon caught my attention. Burning, like my heart.

I sit down and watch the TV, feeling tired and not hungry. I miss pancakes and I miss my mother. After breakfast, I try to find my phone. Failing to do so, I pack up some DVDs and books in a box. I have to start packing sometime, have to start somewhere. I hear a knock at the door and as I walk towards the door, I tried to guess who it was. Opening the door, I'm not expecting who is standing there.

Damien hugs me tightly before I can say anything or object which I was going to. I am flung off my feet and in my neck, he is sobbing. I'm in shock, the air being squashed out of me.

"Can't breathe," I squeal. He gets up slowly and helps me up. "Damien," I sigh. He hugs me again, this time tighter.

"You left me." He's hurting. But I had a reason to leave him, my mother is dead. I had to leave him, I had to hide.

"I had to go."

"Maybe, but you didn't have to kiss the next man you saw. I was in so much pain, you must have felt it, and she must have felt it." He is meaning Mo and yes she did cause she didn't talk to me for hours, days even. I can't remember the last time we talked.

"Damien I..." he takes a step back as I draw closer.

"I felt you here, your presence. I've been monitoring the place, waiting for you to return. I need you; nothing has been the same, nothing! And you ran away from me, you left me and kissed some other man, a human," he growls, his anger levels rising. I'm scared so I back away till I'm against the table.

"I wanted to, I just need, I wanted to go somewhere that wasn't yours or home. Connor offered to look after me. He's normal, his family is normal."

"And mines not. I wanted you, and just you. I'm supposed to be taking power in a week, I'll be eighteen and you weren't there. I couldn't think about anything, anyone but you."

"I'm sorry," I say finally, bowing my head in shame. I can't help anyone.