Strings of Memory

Extra 3

Kakatapos ko lang mag-practice kasama ang banda ng school namin. Kinuha nila akong kapalit ng drummer nila dahil may emergency daw itong kailangang puntahan.

"Future plans namin," sagot ng isa. "Ikaw ba, Eli? Are you still insisting on becoming a drummer?"

Hinintay nila ang sagot ko. But, unlike the other times when I confidently said that my dream was to become a drummer like Youssef, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Nanatili akong tahimik sa ilalim ng mga tingin nila-mga matang tahimik pero malalim ang hinuhusga.

I could see it.

Under those eyes that seemed indifferent, they were judging me.

Judging me for pursuing a dream that was so uncertain.

And being under those stares made my chest feel heavy.

Umuwi akong dala ang bigat na 'yon.

Naupo ako sa sala namin, and I didn't even notice the hours passing by. Nakatitig lang ako sa kawalan-until I noticed my parents sitting at the kitchen table.

Sa harapan nila, nakabukas ang isang notebook. I was sure it was a list of their debts.

At kitang-kita ko sa mga mukha nila kung gaano sila kapagod.

Mas dumami ang linya sa mukha nila. Dumami rin ang puti sa buhok.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-iinit ng mga mata ko.

Napatingin sa akin si Mama at binigyan ako ng isang ngiti.

And that's when I knew... I had to make a decision.

Ah. It's time to let go now.

For my parents, I have to let go.

I have to pick something that will help them.

Something that will be full of opportunities.

Not uncertainties.

And so, on that day, I decided to let go of my dream.

Masakit. Sobra. Pero mas masakit kung ipagpapatuloy ko ito at pababayaan ang mga magulang kong maghirap.

Kailangan kong piliin sila.

Nang makapasok ako ng senior high, sumali ako sa track and field. I've always been athletic, so I'll use that to my advantage to get a scholarship from a university. Hindi ko pwedeng asahan ang utak ko dahil hindi naman ako matalino. I won't be able to maintain high grades, kaya ito ang best way para makakuha ng scholarship.

I'm athletic, but that doesn't mean I was good at it. Compared to my teammates, I was just average, pero hindi naman ako pinanghihinaan ng loob. I'll just work even harder to catch up. After all, hard work can beat talent. And I'll prove that it's true.

"Elliot."

Napahinto ako sa ginagawa ko nang tawagin ako ni Coach.

"Bakit, Coach?" Tanong ko.

Seryoso niya akong tinitigan. "I want you to recruit Luna Vega. If you're familiar with Suzanne Almario, the previous Olympic silver medalist, she's her daughter. She'll be a great addition to the team, so recruit her. Magka-edad naman kayo at nasa parehong year."

Napakurap ako. Hindi ko inaasahan 'yon.

Luna Vega. Anak ng isang legend.

Tumango ako kahit hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Pagkalayo ni Coach, napangiti ako ng mapait.

Of course. She's the daughter of someone famous, so everyone's after her. Privileged siya dahil sa pangalan ng nanay niya. Talk about nepotism.

The next day, pumunta ako sa classroom niya para kausapin siya, pero wala ang buong klase nila roon. Nagtanong ako sa kakilala ko sa kabilang section, and he told me na PE ng buong klase nila ngayon. Alam ko namang physical activities ang focus ng PE this year, so sigurado akong nasa oval sila.