Strings of Memory

Extra 2

Pero kaya ko ba?

Kaya ko bang ituloy 'to nang wala sila?

Hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip. Naitayo ko na ang pangarap ko kasama sila. Ngayon, hindi ko maisip ang sarili kong matupad 'yon nang wala sila.

I don't want to be in a band without them.

"You should think about it," his voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

Umiling ako.

No. These thoughts are unhealthy. I have to move forward.

At para magawa 'yon, kailangan kong tanggapin 'to.

"I'll meet with them," sagot ko.

I have to move forward.

And so, Uncle introduced me to the people he told me about. Just like my first band, they were all guys, but that was the only similarity they had. They were welcoming, just like my second band—at hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung gaano ko sila ka-miss. The thought alone made my chest tighten.

They were from a different place, pero hindi naman naging problema ang pagkikita namin. It was only a two-hour ride from where I lived.

Lahat sila ay freshmen sa college, at ako lang ang high schooler—bukod pa sa pagiging nag-iisang babae sa grupo. Pero hindi iyon naging sagabal.

Unlike my previous bands, they were already established. May sarili na silang pangalan at tumutugtog na sa mga clubs. And I actually managed to perform in one of their gigs.

They weren't as good as my former bandmates, but that was okay. They were still starting. If they practiced enough, I knew they could improve.

"I feel like something's wrong with my sound," sabi ni Kuya Makki, ang bassist ng banda.

Kinagat ko ang pang ibabang labi bago nagdesisyong sumagot.

"Y-you're probably not plucking hard enough," nauutal kong sabi.

Binalingan niya ako, at halos mapatalon ako nang bahagya nang magtama ang mga mata namin. My heart suddenly started pounding faster.

I expected him to get mad, but instead, he smiled.

"Thank you, Z!" Nakangiti niyang sabi at sinubukang i-pluck nang mas madiin ang bass niya.

Napabuntong hininga ako.

He didn't get angry at me. Napangiti ako, kahit bahagya lang.

"How about me, Zeira? Did I sound good?" Tanong naman ni Kuya Rab.

Napalunok ako bago marahang tumango. "Y-yes."

That made him smile too.

Napalunok ulit ako.

He was good. But... he wasn't as good as Luna. Her voice was extraordinary. She managed to shake me to my core with just a few lines. She was too good. But the world still decided to take her away.

Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko at humugot ng malalim na hininga.

This isn't right. I should stop thinking about the past. I should be moving forward, not looking back.

Tumingin ako sa mga bago kong kabanda.

This is fine. We can all improve together. May room pa sila for improvement, and I'll be with them all the way.

Sinubukan kong ituon ang sarili ko sa bagong banda ko, pati na rin sa school, para hindi na balikan ang nakaraan. But no matter what I did, the past always found its way back. Parang laging may paalala sa akin ng lahat ng nangyari.