Strings of Memory

Extra 2

Pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri ko bago humugot ng malalim na hininga. Hindi lang isang beses, kundi ilang ulit, bago ko napagdesisyunang magsalita.

"What are we going to do now?" Mahina kong tanong, sakto lang para marinig nila.

My heart pounded as I waited for their reply. Pero nang magsalita si Elliot, parang nahulog ang puso ko.

He got an offer. He finally got a scholarship.

Nakita ko ang pagsilay ng maliit na ngiti sa labi ni Rive, pero hindi kagaya niya, hindi ko nagawang ngumiti. I couldn't feel happy for Elliot right now. Alam kong makasarili, pero hindi ko kaya.

I heard from Luna before that Elliot was in track and field before joining the band. He was aiming for a scholarship. And now that he finally got an offer, alam kong hindi niya ito palalagpasin.

Pero kahit na alam ko ang lahat ng 'yon, hindi ko pa rin magawang matuwa para sa kanya. I don't want us to go our separate ways. I wanted us to continue with the band. I know we're all lost without Luna, but I believed we could find a way—just like we always do.

Pero si Elliot... hindi siya ang tuluyang bumasag sa pag-asa ko.

It was Wynther.

Tumayo siya at naglakad palayo. And with each step he took, I felt my dream of becoming professional musicians together slowly shatter.

I watched his back as he left. And at that moment, my chest tightened.

Just like before—just like when my previous bandmates left me.

It's happening again.

And I can't do anything to stop it.

After that, he never showed up again. Kahit ilang beses namin siyang inaya na pumunta ulit sa burol, kahit noong mismong libing ni Luna—hindi na siya muling nagpakita.

Ilang beses siyang sinubukang i-contact ni Elliot nung araw na 'yon. Pati kami ni Rive, tinry na rin, pero wala. Hindi sumasagot. Hindi nagpapakita. Natapos ang libing na wala siya.

"Hindi talaga siya pumunta." Elliot let out a dry laugh, pero kitang-kita ko ang galit sa mga mata niya.

"Tangina," he muttered under his breath bago kami iniwan ni Rive.

Narinig ko ang mahinang buntong hininga ni Rive.

"Let's just let him be for now. He was just frustrated that Wynther's not showing up," sabi niya, at tumango lang ako.

"Um... mauna na ako. I still have things to do," dagdag niya.

Lumingon ako sa kanya. He looked exhausted. The bright and flirty Rive that I knew was no longer there.

Kinagat ko ang pang ibabang labi ko nang maramdaman ang pag-init ng mga mata ko. Tumango lang ako at pinanood siyang lumayo.

And I was left alone once again.

Napatingala ako sa makulimlim na langit. Parang sinasabayan ako ng mundo sa nararamdaman ko. Para bang alam niya kung anong tumatakbo sa isip ko. Na itong banda namin—ang pira-piraso nitong natitira—unti-unting nagkakawatak-watak.

At alam kong malapit na kaming dumating sa isang desisyon.

Hindi ko lang alam kung handa ako para doon.

Patuloy naming hindi nakita si Wynther dahil tumigil din siya sa pagpasok sa school. We all know that he's suffering, and I know that this is his way of grieving. It hurt him, especially with him having feelings for Luna. It might have hurt him more than we think it's hurting him.