Strings of Memory

Extra 2

Napakuyom ako ng kamao.

"We're not as good as you, so mas mabuti na sigurong maghanap ka ng mga taong kayang tapatan ang level mo," dagdag ni Jared.

At para bang mas lalo pang bumaon ang palasong nakatarak sa puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

Sabay-sabay silang nag-ayos ng gamit, at bago pa sila tuluyang lumabas ay may sinabi pa si Derrick na mas lalong nagpasakit sa puso ko.

"You should find people who can stomach your attitude. Because we can't do it anymore. We're done."

At tuluyan na silang lumabas.

Naiwan akong nakatayo, nakatitig lang sa pinto. Mabigat ang dibdib at patuloy sa pagkirot ang puso. Inilagay ko ang kanang kamay sa ibabaw ng dibdib ko at pinakiramdaman ang mabigat na pagpintig ng puso ko.

They left. And I know that they won't be coming back. That they left me behind because of me. And I wouldn't be able to blame anyone but myself for what happened. This is all my fault.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-iinit ng mga mata ko. Unti-unting dumaloy ang luha ko. Pinabayaan ko lang 'yon habang nakatitig pa rin sa pinto.

It was hard to pick myself up after that. Sinubukan ko ulit maghanap ng bagong bandmates, pero wala akong nahanap. Not until I met them.

Not until I met Luna.

The first time I met them in that abandoned room, I couldn't help but act harshly. Gusto ko lang malaman kung gaano sila kaseryoso. And when they told me they were serious, I joined them.

Since then, I tried my best to suppress my sharp tongue. Lalo na kapag nandoon si Elliot. He was just too annoying. I always had the urge to tell him off. And maybe I was being too obvious about it—dahil napansin ni Luna.

"You know, I've noticed that you're always quiet." Sabi niya habang nasa clubroom kami at kumakain ng lunch.

Natigilan ako sa pagkain at napatingin sa kanya.

"Are you worried that you might say something offensive to us?" tanong niya.

Napalunok ako at hindi nakapagsalita.

Ngumiti siya. "It's okay. You're free to tell us what you really think."

Really? Talaga bang okay lang? What if... they hate me? What if... this turns out like before? Noong iniwan ako ng dati kong bandmates? I don't want that to happen again. I don't want them to hate me for the same reason.

As if to answer my thoughts, Elliot suddenly chimed in.

"We're not so weak to get hurt by your words. We're stronger than you think." Sabi niya habang si Luna naman ay tumango bilang pagsang-ayon.

"If we don't like what you said, we'll just ignore you," dagdag pa ni Elliot.

Napakunot noo si Luna bago siya lumingon kay Elliot. And the next thing I knew, binatukan niya ito.

"Ikaw talaga! Akala ko pa naman magbibigay ka na ng words of wisdom!" she scolded him while continuously hitting him. Elliot, laughing like an idiot, tried to dodge her attacks.

Pinanood ko lang sila, and somehow, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Their words managed to ease my worries. And from then on, I allowed myself to say whatever was on my mind. Which, more often than not, ended up with me and Elliot arguing. I just couldn't help but call him out whenever he said something cocky or downright stupid. He's too full of himself. But... I found our little banters enjoyable. To the point na minsan, sinasadya ko na lang para inisin siya. He never really took anything I said to heart, and whenever he didn't like what I said, he always fired back.