Strings of Memory

Extra 1

Pagkalabas namin ng condominium, hinarap agad kami ni Elliot.

"Let's just stop this," he said, his voice void of any emotion. Kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya na hindi lang basta pagod ang nararamdaman niya—he looked drained.

"W-what?" nauutal na tanong ni Zeira, halatang naguguluhan sa narinig niya.

Binalingan siya ni Elliot, seryosong tinitigan. "This. This band. Let's stop it now."

Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng dibdib ko kasabay ng pagbabago ng ekspresyon ni Zeira—mula sa pagkalito hanggang sa pagkabahala.

"B-but—" Hindi na naituloy ni Zeira ang sasabihin niya nang biglang magtaas ng boses si Elliot.

"But what?!" He shouted, making her flinch.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. "Elliot," seryoso kong tawag sa kanya, and that seemed to snap him out of it.

Napasinghap siya, umiwas ng tingin. "Sorry," mahina niyang sabi bago tumalikod at naglakad palayo.

And at that moment, I knew—it really was time to stop. Kahit gustuhin pa naming ipagpatuloy, without Elliot and Wynther, it's just not possible anymore.

And just like that, our dreams came to a sudden halt. Along with Luna's death. And we couldn't do anything about it but watch it fall apart. Because one person can't do the lifting alone. Lahat kami dapat nandito, or else, it's just impossible to make it work.

Masakit, pero wala akong magagawa kung iyon ang gusto nila. Hindi ko sila pwedeng pilitin sa gusto ko, at alam din iyon ni Zeira.

We all went back to our lives before Luna came along and dragged us toward her dream. Everything went back to normal, as if nothing happened. And when I said everything, I meant it.

"Mukhang natauhan ka na. At least you're not deluding yourself anymore," sabi ni Daddy habang nakatayo ako sa study room niya.

I'm back in this house again. In this same room where he kicked me out. And just like that, the weight on my shoulders is back too.

"That girl was just a bad influence to you," dagdag pa niya, making me clench my fists. Pero hindi ako nagsalita.

Just like I came back to this house, I also came back to my cowardly self—the one who couldn't stand up for what he wanted and believed in.

Lumabas ako ng silid nang matapos siya sa mga gusto niyang sabihin at walang buhay na bumalik sa kwarto ko.

Nahiga ako sa kama, ipinatong ang braso sa mata ko, at pumikit.

"Rive."

Mabilis akong napaupo nang marinig ang boses ni Mommy.

Naglakad siya papalapit at naupo sa tabi ko. Marahan niyang hinaplos ang pisngi ko, and I could see the sadness in her eyes.

Napalunok ako, feeling the weight in my chest grow heavier.

"I'm happy that you're back, but... what about what you want to do?" she asked, worry evident in her voice.

Nagbuntong hininga ako. "I learned that chasing after your dreams only leads to suffering, so I'll just follow the path being laid out for me."

Mukhang hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinabi ko dahil nakita ko ang pagtutol sa mga mata niya.

"But it won't make you happy," sabi niya.

Ngumiti ako na alam kong hindi umabot sa mga mata ko. "It's okay. It doesn't really have to make me happy. The other path is full of thorns right now, and it hurts to go there. So, I'll just take the path that doesn't hurt. The one I'm more familiar with."