Strings of Memory

Chapter 29

I clenched my jaw. "And I'm so sorry for doing that. I was in pain, and I just wanted to run away from it. But that was never a good excuse. That was just... a lame excuse."

Hindi siya nagsalita. Nanatili lang siyang tahimik kaya naman nagpatuloy ako.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. "I won't force you to join me."

Curiosity flashed in her eyes.

"But I have one favor to ask," I said.

She tilted her head slightly, waiting.

I smiled at her—small and hopeful.

"Can you listen to my song?"

I never got an answer from Zeira right away. The bell rang before she could say anything, signaling the end of lunch break. I didn't even get to eat, but at that moment, it didn't really matter.

As I made my way back to the classroom, my phone vibrated. Nang tignan ko iyon ay napangiti ako dahil nakatanggap ako ng isang mensahe galing kay Zeira, saying that she will listen to my song. So, I replied right away, telling her I'll let her know the time and place.

That afternoon, time passed painfully slow. I don't know if it's really like that or kung masyado lang akong atat lumabas para puntahan si Elliot.

Pagkatapos ng klase, nauna pa akong lumabas ng classroom kaysa sa teacher namin.

Diretso akong nagpunta sa classroom nila Elliot, pero sabi ng isa sa mga kaklase niya, excuse siya ngayong araw dahil may training ang club nila. Kaya naman, dumiretso ako sa oval.

Pagdating ko roon, I immediately saw him training with his teammates. I sat on a nearby bench and just watched him.

Elliot's really talented. I could see why he received the scholarship. He deserves it. And I couldn't help but feel guilty for what I'm about to do. Alam kong sobrang insensitibo ko. He already has a bright future ahead of him. He's finally back to the life he had before we formed the band. Just like Rive and Zeira. All of them were already moving forward with their lives after losing Luna. But here I am, planning to destroy what they've built up now.

And I can't help but feel stupid for it.

Lahat sila, nagmo-move on na—or at least, they are trying to. But here I am, trying to drag them into that hellish pain again.

My heart clenched at the thought.

"What are you doing here?"

Napatingala ako at nakita kong nakatayo na sa harapan ko si Elliot. He was holding a mineral water bottle, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Sumilip ako sa likod niya at napansin kong wala na roon ang teammates niya. Ganoon ba ako katagal na tulala? Ni hindi ko namalayan na tapos na pala ang training nila.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Elliot at hindi ko maiwasang kabahan dahil sobrang seryoso ng mga mata niya.

The cocky, happy-go-lucky guy was gone. What stood before me was someone cold and distant. And it hurt knowing that I was the reason why. Alam kong kasalanan ko kung bakit siya ganito. Because of what I told him before.

Tumayo ako at napalunok. "I-I want to talk to you." Nauutal kong sabi.

"About what?" malamig niyang tanong.

Muli akong napalunok. "I-I w-want..." Fuck. Halos mapapikit ako sa inis sa sarili ko. Ano bang nangyayari sa akin? Kailan pa ako naging ganito?

Humugot ako ng hininga at tumikhim. "I want you to join my band."

He scoffed, and my heart pounded at his reaction.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Why would I?" inis niyang tanong.