Strings of Memory

Chapter 27

It felt suffocating. Every day, I was surrounded by the weight of gazes—some curious, some indifferent, but all of them pressing down on me in a way I couldn't escape. And when it got too much, I would always find myself on the rooftop.

Masakit pumunta doon, pero mas masakit din manatili sa classroom. Kasi kahit saan ako magpunta, it's all full of you.

I always remember you whenever I look at your desk, whenever I walk through the hallway na madalas nating daanan, sa cafeteria kung saan tayo kumakain ng lunch, at sa rooftop—where I first realized what I felt for you but tried my best to ignore it.

Everywhere I turned, you were there.

And it hurts.

It had been a while since Rive told me that Tori was looking for me, yet we never got the chance to talk after that. Kahit magkasama kami sa klase, parang hindi na namin mahagilap ang tamang pagkakataon para mag-usap. Or maybe, he was just avoiding me. Either way, I wasn't exactly ready to have that conversation, so it worked in my favor.

Elliot, on the other hand, had gone back to track and field. I mean, I already knew that, pero na-confirm ko nang makita ko siyang tumatakbo sa oval, practicing with his team.

Si Zeira naman, she's back to being alone. Bihira ko lang siyang makita sa school, but whenever I do, she's still with her guitar. Nothing more, nothing less.

Nothing was the same, but somehow, everything had gone back to what it was before we met Luna.

A life that was dull. Monotonous. Ordinary.

And I knew—Luna wouldn't like what we were doing right now.

Then, one day, before I even realized it, I found myself walking towards a very familiar place. Matagal ko nang iniiwasang pumunta doon kasi alam kong lalo lang akong masasaktan. But I just found myself going there unconsciously.

It's a place full of our memories. So why am I here? Did I want to hurt myself more?

Huminto ako sa harap ng pinto ng clubroom namin. Tinitigan ko ang lumang pinto nito bago napagdesisyunang buksan ito.

Pumasok ako sa loob at walang pinagbago doon. The chairs were still perfectly lined up against the walls, leaving the center open, just like we had arranged it. The room still smelled the same—faint traces of dust and old books, mixed with something indescribable. Something that reminded me of all the times we spent here.

Then, my eyes landed on the board. At hindi ko napigilan ang sakit na bumalot sa puso ko nang makita ko ang mga sulat namin doon.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit at marahang hinawakan ang gilid ng board, careful not to erase anything. These words... they were proof of our dreams. A reminder of the promises we made to ourselves.

These are our memories. I don't want them to be gone.

Pinakatitigan ko ang mga sulat doon at isa-isa iyong binasa.

Rive's elegant cursive.

I want to perform again! - Rive Cole Marlowe

Elliot's almost unreadable scribble.

I want to become a very good drummer! - Elliot Nolan Escalante

Zeira's neat, precise letters.

I want to be a professional musician! - Zeira Maeve Alcaron.

Then, my own writing.

I want to perform onstage! - Wynther Fynne Clemenceau

Napangiti ako ng mapait nang makita ang exclamation point. It wasn't supposed to be there. Originally, I had just written a period. But Luna had taken the chalk and added that extra line, insisting that a dream should never be stated so plainly.

And then, my gaze finally landed on her handwriting.

I want to inspire people with my music! - Luna Elara Vega

Kinagat ko ang pang ibabang labi ko at umiwas ng tingin. Masakit. Parang sinasaksak ang puso ko nang paulit-ulit.

I clenched my fists and exhaled shakily, forcing myself to look back. But the moment my eyes landed on the center of the room, the past came rushing in like a flood.

It was as if someone had hit play on an old film, and suddenly, I was reliving everything.

The first time we saw Zeira play her guitar. The band meetings they held here na kasama ako kahit hindi pa ako officially part ng banda. The day I finally joined. The moment we chose our band name. The day we wrote our dreams on this board. The lunch breaks and free time we spent here, playing around, laughing, playing music. The way Zeira would absentmindedly strum her guitar while Elliot and Luna argued over something stupid, and sometimes, she would even join them dahil lagi silang nagtatalo ni Elliot. The way they would all turn to me, pestering me to pick up my bass and play with them.

All of it.

Every moment we shared together played before me like a bittersweet montage.

Happy, but painful memories.

And before I knew it, something warm landed on my hand.

I raised a shaky hand to my face.

Tears.

I was crying.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang mga luha, pero hindi sila tumigil sa pagbuhos. No matter how much I tried to stop them, they wouldn't stop.

I knew it.

I shouldn't have come here.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down, but the memories refused to fade. They only grew stronger, suffocating me with everything I had lost.

And then, when I opened my eyes, the scene changed.

The day before the festival.

The day Elliot and Rive pulled their stupid plan just to make me confess.

I let out a dry chuckle, my lips curling into a bitter smile.

I never got the chance to tell her.

She never even knew how much she meant to me. How grateful I was for her.

And then, just like that, the memories stopped playing.

On my way home, I lifted my head and stared at the sky.

It was still gray.

Still empty.

Still lifeless.

I didn't know if it would ever change. If it would ever regain its colors.

Maybe it never would.

Maybe it would stay this way forever. A gray sky. A gray world.

Then, out of nowhere, as I was staring at that lifeless sky, a sound reached my ears.

A single note.

It was soft. Faint. Almost inaudible.

I didn't know where it came from.

But then, a line suddenly came to mind.

Can light, break this greyish haze and melt away?