Strings of Memory

Chapter 27

Bumuka pa ulit ang bibig niya, parang may gusto pang sabihin, pero nagbago ang isip niya at umiling.

"Nevermind," he muttered before giving me another small smile and walking away.

Tinitigan ko lang ang pinto na pinaglabasan niya bago ako tumayo at pumunta sa faculty office.

Pagkapasok ko, kaagad akong dumiretso sa table ni Tori. I saw her writing something on a piece of paper, her desk stacked with documents—just like the first time I saw her here.

Noong kasama ko pa si Luna.

May kung anong pumisil sa puso ko nang maalala ko siya kaya naman ipinilig ko ang ulo ko at tumikhim.

Inangat ni Tori ang ulo niya at bakas ang pagkagulat doon nang makita ang itsura ng mukha ko.

"Are you... okay?" Nag-aalangan niyang tanong nang makabawi.

I'm... not.

Not even close.

But instead of saying that, I just gave her a nod.

Tinitigan niya ako. Para bang pinag-aaralan ang kabuuan ko bago ngumiti.

"I'm glad that you're back," she said.

I blinked. I wasn't expecting that.

Just like with my adviser, it took me by surprise. Ang akala ko pagsasabihan niya ako kaya niya ako pinatawag dito. After all, she's still a teacher, and it's part of her responsibility to look out for her students.

Ngumiti siya. "We all understand," she said in a soft voice. "We know how hard it is, but I'm happy that you're starting to move forward."

She wasn't here to scold me. No. The teachers in this school chose to understand me.

"Even if it's just a small step, it's still a step forward," she continued. "It will be a long process, so hang in there, Wyn."

I felt my eyes sting at how gently she spoke. Kaagad akong suminghap at tumango, refusing to let myself cry.

She lightly tapped my arm. "You can go get your lunch now."

Muli akong tumango at walang sabing umalis.

But instead of heading to the cafeteria, I found myself going to the rooftop.

Pagpasok ko roon, sinalubong ako ng malamig na hangin.

My eyes, almost instinctively, landed on that spot.

That spot where she used to stand.

But instead of seeing her there, lost in her own world, staring at the sky with that serious yet distant expression... all I saw was emptiness.

She really is... no longer here.

Muling kumirot ang puso ko sa realization na 'yon.

I already knew this. In my mind. In my heart. Alam kong wala ka na. Pero hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong hanapin ka pa rin. Parang patuloy pa ring hinahanap ka ng mga mata ko sa mundong 'to, kahit alam kong wala ka na.

That's why I didn't want to go back to school.

Because this place is full of our memories. Not just ours, but also with Rive, Elliot, and Zeira. Happy memories that will forever remain as just that—memories.

And I know that as time passes, it will continue to hurt.

And I also know that no matter how much I try to move forward—

I will continue to run away.

The days passed by in a routine I was all too familiar with. The same cycle I had before I got tangled up with Luna. A routine of waking up, going to school, and going home. A mundane, repetitive, and lifeless routine.