Hearing all those from him feels like receiving punches I didn't see coming. I tried not to let it linger in my mind, but it was all I thought about until our practice ended.
But I didn't let it affect me. I went on with my night, practicing and laughing with my friends, because that was the only way to cope with all of this.
"Huwag mong ibangga kotse mo, ah." I flipped my finger on Aiden before opening my car. "Seryoso ako, Blake."
Tumawa lamang ako at sumakay sa sasakyan bago ito pinaandar.
I didn't know he was serious. My friends probably know I was going through something that they always worry about me these days.
"Hindi ka kasi nagsasabi kaya hindi namin alam kung anong tumatakbo sa isip mo." Aiden said one time we were having a drinking session in Ram's unit.
I just laughed it off and went on with my night.
He was right though, I don't tell anyone whenever I am going through something, even my feelings. Because my issues are mine only and I shouldn't drag my friends into it. For me, it's something shallow that will pass. That it will end.
"I'll go ahead." I said for the last time and drove out of the campus.
I went home straight, hoping to finally have peace, even though it's close to impossible, I still hoped.
But maybe I was meant to catch every fuck-up thing in this world today.
"Galing ka sa babae mo? How's her pregnancy?"
Maybe I should've thought about this, that going home will never give me peace, but I still hoped that maybe I'll somehow feel that warmth I've been seeking for days in our home, but even our home failed me.
"I told you, the news of me impregnating that woman isn't true."
Weak and worn out, I stood in the entrance of our house, watching my parents fight again. I neither made any noise nor interrupted their argument, instead, I looked at them numbly, wondering what could've been my life if I was born in a different household, if I had a faithful father, if I was made out of love...
At this point, all I want is for them to part ways, kahit hindi na nila ako isipin, kahit para na lang sa mga sarili nila, because I felt like they are just dealing with this marriage because of me, because they have a son, because they can't give their son a broken family.
But who's gonna tell them that having a broken family for me is better than dealing with all this bullshit.
"Liar!"
I gripped my bag tightly before walking straight to the staircase so I could go to my room without sparing them a glance. But I know that they saw me, they felt me. I know because they stopped shouting like they didn't want me to hear anything.
I snorted and turned to them before stepping my foot on the stairs.
"Go on. I'm already used to you fighting, no need to hide it from me." even I was shocked at how cold my voice sounded.
I remained looking at them when no one spoke.
"What?" I sarcastically said and turned my whole body to them. "Why is no one shouting now?"
Punong-puno na ako.
"Blake..." my gaze went to my mom, who is now walking towards me and ready to calm me down like she does whenever this shit happens, but I am now at the edge that no one and nothing can sooth me, not even my mom.
"May nabuntis ka?" diretsahang tanong ko sa ama na ngayon ay mukhang nagulat.
"Anak, let's go." I shook my head at my crying mom and pulled my hand away to go near my father.
