"I don't know, dude. Wala nga akong girlfriend, boyfriend pa?" kanina pa ako kinukulit ni Aiden tungkol sa narinig niya. I've been telling him to stop asking me about it because people might hear him.
"I'm just asking. Malay ko nabaliko ka na pala tapos hindi mo lang sinasabi kasi baka hindi ka namin matanggap. Tanggap ka namin, dude." hinampas pa niya nang mahina ang dibdib ko.
"Tangina mo. Wala nga!" hinila ko ang tenga niya bago tumakbo papunta sa mga kaibigan namin na malayo na pala. I was too busy debunking the rumors he heard from his acquaintance that I didn't notice their distance.
I unconsciously wiped my lips with the back of my hand while walking when I remembered what happened yesterday. I still can't believe I was kissed by a fucking man. I mean, I don't have anything against men who kiss men, but he should've chosen someone who would like it because I was not for it. I am straight. Mabuti sana kung kaibigan ko 'yung gagong 'yun baka mapapalampas ko pa.
"Huwag kayong pumunta sa kung saan nang wala kami ni Aiden!" I told them while we were eating our lunch at a restaurant near the campus. They were talking about going somewhere, but Aiden and I need to do something with some of our blockmates for a project.
"Pupunta kami sa kung saan kung gusto namin." sagot ni Leigh. Aba! Sumasagot pa talaga!
"Sige." tumango-tango ako habang nginunguya ang kinakain. Pake ko kung umalis sila nang wala kami? Wala akong pake. "Mambababae lang kayo, eh." dagdag ko pa.
Mga babaero. Mabuti na lang ako hindi. I do flings, yes, but I don't jump from one woman to another that fast like I am just changing my clothes. Hindi ko masikmurang mambabae na parang laruan lang sila. That's disgusting.
"Tulad mo pa kami sa 'yo, Blake." halos mabulunan ako nang biglang nagsalita si Red.
"Anong ako? Ikaw ang number one babaero dito, Red." I said mockingly. Siya naman talaga. I often see him with women, although he doesn't really flirt too much with them, parang casual lang. Accompany, but still...
Though these days, I don't see him with women. Seryoso nga yata talaga siya doon sa crush niya.
Halos matawa ako sa naisip. Crush? Ano siya, elementary student?
"Who wanted to go somewhere last night with a woman? Not me." Gago.
"Hindi naman natuloy!"
"Yup. Kasi pagod ka diba?" hindi ako nakasagot sa tanong niya. I was not sure if it was because I was exhausted with our practice or if it was because of a specific reason.
I sighed heavily when a certain scenario crossed my mind. That man ruined it for me. I can't bring myself to think about kissing a woman because he is all I think about and his kiss.
Maybe because it was my first kiss with a man?
Bakit? Wala namang pinagkaiba, ah?
"Nagturuan pa kayo, eh, parehas lang naman kayong babaero." sabat ni Aiden. Inirapan ko sila at nagpatuloy sa pagkain.
"Hurry up. We still have classes." rinig kong saad ni Nathan.
Hindi alam ng mga kaibigan ko ang tumatakbo sa isipan ko. They aren't aware that I am bothered with something. Kapag nalaman kaya nilang may humalik sa aking lalaki, anong magiging reaksyon nila? Are they going to tease me? Will they find it disgusting? But my friends aren't like that.
"Lalim ng iniisip, ah." dining kong saad ni Aiden habang naglalakad papunta sa lecture room namin. I elbowed his waist when he put his arm on my shoulder. "Iniisip mo 'yung boyfriend mo?"
Huminga ako nang malalim at lumayo sa kanya. Malapit na akong mapikon.
"Don't test my patience, Aiden. Kapag ako nang-asar sa 'yo, hindi kita patutulugin." I said in a flat tone.
