Siguro ang mga alak ay ginawa para parusa sa mga hayok na hayok sa inumin na katulad ko. Kaya ngayon kulang na lang ay gumapang ako sa sahig ng kwarto sa unit ni Ram.
"Bakit pa ako nagising kung maghihirap lang din naman ako." bulong ko habang minamasahe ang noo. My head hurts so bad that I felt like it's going to break.
"Nagising ka para malaman at maalala mo kung paano mo sinukahan ang kotse ko kagabi." I almost jumped from the bed when I heard Aiden's voice.
"I thought you were asleep!" hinilot ko ulit ang ulo dahil pakiramdam ko ay may tumibok noong nagsalita ako.
"Ayan inom pa." I threw daggers at Aiden, who is now getting up from lying on the beddings on the floor. "Linisan mo 'yung kotse ko!"
"Wala man lang pumigil sa akin." I said, ignoring his banters. He kept on speaking but my world was too shaky to care.
"Get your ass up, Blake. We have classes to attend today." I sat straight upon hearing Ram's voice from the outside. The slightly opened door made it possible for me to see him.
I sighed heavily and stood up. As much as I want to miss the class today, I can't. We have professors who enjoy giving surprise quizzes so skipping classes isn't an option. At 'yan lang 'yung surprise na ayaw kong maranasan pero danas na danas ko.
"Is it okay if I'll clean your car later?" I asked Aiden while looking for my phone. "Where's my phone?"
"I already asked someone to clean it. Next time ask your boyfriend to fetch you para kotse niya naman ang masukahan mo. Kadiri."
Tila nadagdagan ang sakit ng ulo ko dahil sa narinig kay Aiden. His words clicked something in me that my mind automatically remembered what had happened last night.
A pair of orbs that were looking at me intently. Lips that were inviting me to ravish them. Jaws that were slightly clenched as he looked at me. The fingers that I could still feel rubbing my lips. Those were the first things I could see as I closed my eyes tightly, regretting my want to do something last night.
"Mabuti hindi ko hinalikan 'yun!" I hissed. "Bakit ko naman kasi naisip na halikan 'yun?"
"Anong binubulong mo diyan?"
"Nagrorosaryo ako." I said flatly and went straight to the bathroom.
Suddenly, my headache felt nothing compared to what I am feeling inside right now. Kahit sumakit na 'yung ulo ko buong araw basta makalimutan ko lang 'yung nangyari kagabi. Thinking about standing in front of that man, looking like a kitten, hungry for a kiss from him, made me feel sick to my stomach.
"Ano naman ngayon? Hindi niya naman alam!" I said, gaslighting myself, as I pulled my shirt off my body. "Siya naman talaga ang may gustong halikan ako!" I whispered when I remembered his words last night. "Bading ba 'yun?"
Kung oo, edi, congrats.
"Blake, bilisan mo! Iiwan ka namin!"
Maybe if I met that man in a different circumstance, I would never think of him as someone who is gay or bisexual because of his physique. His broad shoulders, firm thighs, deep voice, and the women around him won't give him away.
But oh well, people who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community shouldn't be recognized and determined based on what they look like, how they look like, or how they dress. There are people who are part of the community who hide themselves and their sexuality behind their clothes and physique because of fear and judgement, so someone's sexuality shouldn't be perceived based on their clothes or build.
Baka kailangan lang talaga natin na tumahimik at huwag nang mangialam sa ibang tao. Someone's sexuality isn't our business.
"What made you think that that man is gay? Because he wanted to kiss you?" I asked as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. "You also wanted to kiss him last night. What does that make you?"
