No Need For Walls Now~(a The Maine fanfiction)

-chapter 25-

-chapter 25-

As we all walked to the venue Garrett and I trailed behind so we could talk. "Gare, I'm really sorry." I said looking at the ground. He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers in mine, "Shea, it's okay. I know you've just been confused as to how you feel and you've gone through a lot." Garrett said. I looked up at him, then down at our hands, then at John who had his back to us walking with Suzie and Pat. I don't care what happened between me and John, I couldn't shut my feelings for Garrett out. As much as I hated it I still liked Garrett. "but I like you Garrett." I whispered, "but I can't keep fucking with your mind. It's not fair." I drew in a shaky breath. Garrett let out a sigh, "that's for damn sure." he said under his breath. As he said that I felt as if someone punched me in the stomach. I knew what I had been doing was stupid and cruel. But to hear it actually said from him that I was hurting him was more then I could take. I gently pulled my hand from his, "Garrett, I'm so sorry I've been such a terrible friend to you. And I hope you won't hold it against me. Because you mean the world to me. I don't know what I'd do without you." I said still unable to look him in the eye. "you'd just run to John" he muttered thinking I wouldn't hear it. That was like another punch in the stomach. I was beginning to feel sick. How could I be such a bitch to this wonderful guy? Then garrett said "of course I won't hold it against you Shea. It's okay." "Garrett stop." I said stopping in the middle of the sidewalk just feet from the venue. "I know you're hurt and mad, so just let it all loose on me, right here. I need to hear it and you need to get it off your chest." Garrett studied my face for a moment as I finally met his eye. I nodded my head encouraging him to let loose his anger with me. "I can take it. Please." I pleaded, I just needed to hear his words cut me down, I'd feel better, or worse. Whichever it was considered in this situation. I stood there waiting as Garrett stared at me, not moving really, just standing infront of me, as if contemplating wether he should do it or not. "please." I said again. He sighed, "you fucked me up shailene. I don't even know why I fell for it. I knew you loved John, but I let you make me think differently. All the while that voice in my head was telling me to run away. I guess my heart got the better of me. Making my mind believe what my heart felt, which was the fact that I loved you." he paused. The fact that he said loved meaning past made me feel numb again. "Shea you were a bitch to me and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I did to deserve it! I loved you and you knew it and then you went and fucked John. And then when he left you, you came back to me. I let you cause I knew you needed someone, but it's not fair..." he finished his voice trailing off. I looked in his eyes and they were full of hurt. I never fully realized the extent of what I'd done. I always thought my parents were such horrible people, but here I am hurting one of my very best friends who loved me. I ran to Garrett and wrapped my arms around him. He didn't hug me back but I buried my face in his chest and cried. "Garrett i'm so sorry, you don't even know." I said my voice muffled. I continued to give apologies through my tears while holding on to him until I finally felt his strong arms wrap around me. Relief flooded me, cause that's when I knew he'd forgiven me. "c'mon Shea, were gonna be late if we stand out here any longer." he said wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walked in the doors of the venue. "do you promise you forgive me?" I asked. "yes. Because I can't deny or fight it, I still love you Shailene." he said smiling. I smiled back at him, "I'm glad cause I still love you too." I said as Jared walked up, "Garrett man where you been? You still gotta sound check!" "aw shit, okay!" Garrett said taking off towards the stage. "did you guys talk things out?" Jared asked, as we walked to where everyone else were getting drinks. "yeah I guess you can say that. I just wish none of this shit would have happened and my life could just be easy for once." I said. "but it wouldn't be life if it was easy." Jared said. I smiled, "true." I said sitting down at the bar next to John with Jared. I grabbed John's drink and took a big sip of it. "oh my god. What is THAT?" I asked making a face. "my throat burns!!" I yelled. "Shea, that wasn't my drink. That was the straight vodka for my mixed drink." he said laughing. "oh my god!" I yelled again. Kennedy slid a water down to me and I drank the whole thing at once. "why did you let me do that?" I asked John smacking him on the shoulder. "I didn't have time to! You already had it to your mouth!" he said still laughing. "yeah real funny." I said. "what drink are you getting anyway?!" "long island iced tea." he replied with a smirk.  "John! You realize that has 5 different Liquors in it right?!" I said. "yes I do. I'm allowed to drink it remember, you're the one who isn't legal remember?" he said smiling at me. "shut the hell up. I'll get what I want." I replied. "they ID you here." Jared said. "I'll just share yours then John." I said smiling at him. Just then the lady slid John's drink across the counter. "thank you." John said. I pulled the drink from him and studied it debating on wether or not to actually try it or not. But before I could decide John had taken it back and was drinking it like it was nothing. "okay guys were ready to open the doors!" an employee said rushing us all backstage. I asked for Johns drink and took a sip. Holy shit, how could he drink that?! I thought to myself. He left it with me as they went up to perform. "shailene, is that yours?!" Lauren asked when she saw me holding it. "oh no! It's John's..." I explained. "I heard about you drinking straight vodka by accident." Suzie said laughing. "oh yeah. That was interesting to say the least. I'm underage, the lady shouldn't leave it out like someone is drinking it!!" I said laughing. "yeah that was pretty stupid on her part." Suzie agreed. "you guys wanna go watch from the balcony?" Lauren asked. "yeah sure!" I said. I took a another sip of Johns drink, it actually wasn't half bad now. but I left it behind so I wouldn't get caught underaged drinking. The girls and I watched the rest of the show from the balcony and then headed back to the bus as the boys talked to and met fans. About 2 hours later they all came back to the bus. John sat down next to me and pulled out his laptop. I watched as he check his email, and I read over his shoulder that he had something from an old friend of ours. The email read 

"John,

I just thought you'd like to know Auden West died over the weekend. There's no easy way to put this, that's why this might sound brutal. she drowned at the beach while swimming with friends. I know you and Garrett, Jared, Kennedy, and Pat are all on tour, but I thought you might like to know. Please pass the word on to the others. The funeral and visitation is this Friday. 

Sincerely, Jake Ross"

I stared blankly at the screen. "Auden died?" I said not believe it myself. "yeah I guess so." John said his voice slow and sad. John and Auden and I used to hangout together in highschool some. She actually liked John for a while. I wouldn't say Auden and I were ever best friends or anything, but we were close at one time. "boy. That's like a smack in the face of reality isn't it." I said still not believing Auden was gone. She was my age, and a crazy teenager. I couldn't believe her life was just ripped away from her that quick. "yeah. It is. What's today?" John asked absentmindedly. "Wednesday." "you and I are gonna fly home and go the funeral." he said, not asking but telling. "uh. Okay. I haven't been home or seen anyone since I left though." I said suddenly not wanting to go home at all. "I don't care Shea. Were going to Auden's funeral." "okay." "I'm tired, I'm going to sleep, goodnight Shea." John said closing his laptop and kissing my forehead gently. He seemed to be in a daze of confusion and shock. As was I, so I followed his lead and just went to bed. Maybe this was all just a sick twisted trick to get me home...