The Girl Who Was Taken (Renesme Cullens Twin Sister)

Twenty-one

Everything ached, but the fire was gone. Sunlight pried my eyes open. There was a breeze. I could hardly move, but I pushed myself towards the window nonetheless. I was all by myself up in my tall tower. There was no one else around.

I let my body fall forward landing across the window ledge. I pulled myself up on it so I could look directly down at the ground. It was a very long fall. I wanted to grow wings and become a bird and fly away. But I couldn't and never would be able to.

At least I wasn't dead.

I felt dead though. The only thing that reminded me that I was just barely alive was the rapidly beating drum in my chest. I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my toes. It would not give up. I would not give up.

Then I remembered something important. Renesme was coming. She's going to get herself killed. She's going to get her whole family murdered. I should let them come. They don't mean anything to me. They're just strangers. What makes them worth the trouble of saving thei lives?

I didn't want to let them die though. Especially since Aro would make me watch. Make me commit the punishment. I wasn't capable of that.

I dragged myself further over the edge. I just wanted to fly away. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to hurt anyone else.

I was slipping over. Scraping my skin. The ground was so far away. Where are my wings? Why haven't they spread yet?

Tipping. My hair fell around my face. Curtains. But I wanted to see. I wanted to look at the city and its people and the sky. I wanted to see the birds that I was going to be flying with and the sun twinkling in the sky.

As soon as my hands left the edge, I was falling. Too fast. I didn't want to fall, I wanted to fly. But I was so tired. My wings were too weak.

The next thing I knew, an arm wrapped around me, suspending me in mid air. I was floating. Almost like flying. I spread my arms taking it all in.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hear a harsh voice. Demetri hugged me to his chest as he clung to the side of the tower.

"Flying," I said wistfuly.

"Really? And were you planning on landing?"

"No. I was just flying."

He held me tight, and climbed up the tower. I held onto the arm he had wrapped around my middle. I could jump away from him. Out of his reach and fly and fly and fly until he couldn't catch me again. But I don't. I cant. I wont.

He climbed past my window. Up and up and up. Faster than my mind can process at the moment.

The wall is gone and under his feet are ceramic shingles. He sets me down near the top of the roof, and looks closely at me as he knele on the slanted ground in front of me.

He took hold of my face as asked, "Were you trying to kill yourself?"

He was looking in my eyes. Not at my hair or shoulder or even cheek like everyone else does. Aro didn't, or Chelsea or Jane. Even Alec who had a habit of sneaking into my room to kiss me at night never looked me in the eye, but Demetri did. He looked in my eyes, he looked at me.

I nodded. "I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"That Vampire would have murdered a thousand people if you didn't--"

"That's not what I'm talking about!" I had to tell myself to breath. To hold back the tears. I was the one who broke eye contact. To hide my face. The weakness.

"What then? Please." He pushed my hair out of my face. I pushed his hands away. "Let me help you."

"I know! Okay? I know about my twin. Renesme. And she knows about me. And now she wants to rescue me. And I've been telling her no for so long now, but no matter what I say, I can't get her to realize that I don't need to be rescued. She's had enough waiting now, and she's going to come and get everyone killed. And I can't do anything--"

I broke away from him, running at the sky. I leap into the blue, but before I reach it, he yanked me back. We're right on the edge of the rough, sandy shingles.

"Let me go."

"Do you really think killing yourself will help?"

"Let me go!" I screamed.

He held both of my arms, my torso was thrust out over the side. "Look. Think about what you're leaving behind. All the things that you would never do. Everything. All the people you're leaving? Everyone. And you are throwing yourself away? For what? Because you're afraid?"

The shingles beneath my feet broke off then, sending my feet to dangle. Demetri pulled me back up. Preventing me from escaping with a hug from behind. He falls back as I struggle to get away, and we end up sitting and watching over the world. The blue sky calms me eventually, the birds singing lull me. The way he was breathing in my ear to help me steady my own breath, even though he didn't have to breath at all.

"Just breath," he said. "Calm down. I have you. It's going to be okay."

And eventually it did feel better. I collected myself. And I admitted to him, "I like it. Killing. Murdering. Seeing the look in their eyes when I command them to take their own life... It scares me, but not enough to stop myself." He only held me tighter when I said this. "Don't let go."

"Never."

We might have sat there forever. Perched on top of the world. We should have. Would have. Could have. If only.