Snippets

Snippet #29 - 2

Part 2

She was scared. She wanted to stop him. Stop him from continuing, stop him from telling her his feelings, again. She was scared of her feelings that grew stronger every moment she spent with him. She was scared at how easily he was tearing down the walls she spent years perfecting. 

She was terrified that the man sitting next to her was the same boy that stole her heart at the age of 8 before she even learned what feelings were. A boy, that she had forgotten about.

She wanted to run, but she didn't want to be a coward. 

Or maybe you're just relishing in the attention that he's giving you in the moment. 

She shook her head and moved to get up, but froze when he started his story again.

"The memory was so long ago, I had started to forget it, forget her. She popped up in my mind from time to time and all I'd feel was embarrassment. I haven't been that close to a girl since then and I had only known her for less than a day." 

She wanted to cry, to disappear, to scream. But she sat in silence, listening.

"The second time I met her I was 24. I was at a completely foreign country for work and went into this random ATM place to withdraw cash. I was all alone until I this girl came bursting in, giving me a heart attack in the process."

A soft smile creeped up her face. She remembered that day. She had forgotten to buy a new coat for winter and the temperature had started to drop. She went into the cheapest shop she could find to buy a coat, but they only accepted cash payment. So, she rushed to find an ATM before it got dark. She hated walking alone in the dark. She finally found an ATM but never saw what was coming next.

She never went back to that shop or that ATM place again.

"She was completely out of breath and she was rushing, she even dropped her purse a few times. She was doing everything s messily, it messed me up. I had never wanted to leave a place so bad. But just as I was gonna leave, the power went out. And as luck would have it, the doors were automated and so, I was locked in with the girl. I found out later that there was a citywide power outage, no phone signals no nothing. I don't think either of us imagined we'd be stuck there so long but nope, I was stuck in that place with her until almost midnight. The power went out at around 4. At first, we had just ignored each other, doing our own thing. But as the sun started to set, I could see the girl starting to panic. It was understandable, of course. But I wanted her to know I wasn't a threat."

"So, I started talking to her. We agreed on staying on opposite ends of the room, but we continued to talk about everything and nothing. By the time midnight rolled around, I knew her favorite color, her favorite foods, and I knew she loved eating ice-cream no matter how cold it was. I knew she loved to read, that she loved cold nights in bed, and that she hated university. I knew that she loved the color blue-"

She wanted to cover her ears. She didn't want to hear this.

"-that purple skittles were her least favorite out of all the skittles-"

She didn't want to hear about the day she mistakenly let this man into her life, thinking that it was going to be just a one time encounter.

"-and that she loved the sea-"

Stop.

No, she wouldn't be a coward.

Please, you just love this don't you? All the attention he's giving you? Well, aren't you a pretty little narcissist? You wanted him to know all these things about you - no, it was a mistake - that's why you told him everything - she didn't mean to, she didn't think she would meet him again - and you wanted to meet him again, you wanted him to notice you, think of you - no, no, no - because you just love the attention. Don't delude yourself, you don't love him, you never can. Just as nobody can love you.

She couldn't do this. She needed to leave. But she couldn't leave him, she knew she had to give him an answer. But she didn't want to. God, she didn't want to. 

"I knew so much about her, but I still felt like I knew nothing and I wanted to know more and more. I wanted to know everything. It wasn't until I was back home after dropping her off at her place that I realized, I didn't even know her name."

She didn't want to let him drop her off. But they both saw the group of men eyeing her when they finally got out of the ATM place. It was either them, or him. She knew him, she knew he wasn't a threat. Was it stupid to trust a man she had only met a few hours ago? Maybe. But she knew, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She just knew.

"This time, she wouldn't leave my mind. I didn't even know it was the same girl, but somehow the same girl had somehow caught my attention when I was both 10 and then again, at 24. And this time, she didn't leave my mind. She stayed consistent in my thoughts. I wanted to see her again, I wanted to hear her voice again, I wanted to drown myself in her laughter. I thought I was finally going insane."

He must be. Only an insane man can fall in love with a woman like her.