Roller Skate || Alex Gaskarth a.u.

Chapter 31: The Twentieth Letter

Kit

Dear Alex,

Where are you? I would love to start this letter with much more affection, but this is my twentieth letter to you in the space of two weeks. You're not getting them anymore, are you? I've heard it's hard to get letters to soldiers, but you used to write to me every week.

Alex, where are you?

I've taken a habit of sleeping in your bed every night, and yes, I've moved in with your mom. The bombings around here are nearly a weekly thing now, but more and more people are running out of luck, so I decided to move in with your mom just in case, you know? We'll look after each other.

The Underground was bombed only two days ago. Jack was devastated, but he'll live. But moving away from bombing and back to my last statement, I'm sleeping in your bed. I guess it's the only thing that makes me remember that you aren't permanently gone. I'm starting to fear the fact that I'm forgetting bits and pieces of you.

I miss you, Alex. I'm scared too. What if one of the scary jet fighters drop a bomb on your house? What if I'm not fast enough? There's a dull atmosphere around here now. Half of the town has gone to fight. Drew even went off because he had no choice. Conscription is everywhere. There's a cry for men all over America. Apparently Europe just don't have enough good guys left.

Also, telegrams are flying left, right and centre. People are dying Alex, people that you and I know. Stoner Steve from school was killed in action. I can't look Penelope in the eye anymore. She's dropping out of school, but then again, most of us girls are dropping out of school. Nobody's really there to teach us anymore. We're taking on jobs to help the soldiers. Sewing uniforms, learning how to assemble machinery--it's just like the old days apparently.

But you need to keep your promise, okay? Come home. I'm writing that in extra heavy ink. I've made too many mistakes in my life. I need you to come back so I can fix them. I was stupid for letting you go, honestly, what was I thinking? As I'm watching the rain fall down on the window sill, I'm remembering that time you danced in the rain for me. Do you remember that?

Quinn misses you lots by the way. She told me to mention that in my next letter. I think she called you a few bad words that I'm not going to write down, but she really misses you at the Rink. Big time. She's too 'punk rock' to feel that type of emotion apparently (whatever that means). Oh! And Zack says hi. Yes. I know. Zack. He's a really good guy you know. I think he just made the mistake in freshman year of hanging around with Drew. He's currently lying low, but I suppose he's hiding from the mean looking Lieutenants that roam our streets, recruiting boys and men from the ages of thirteen to fifty. Jack sends hugs and kisses.

There's also something else you should know. I didn't exactly want to write it down. I was hoping I'd be able to tell you in person. But I have no idea of when you're going to return, so here goes nothing.

I'm pregnant.

It hurts to write this actually. I'm sorry in advance for the tear stains that will mark your letter. Hopefully the ink won't run. I just wanted to tell you so badly in person....it's not fair that I have to deliver the news in a scribbly letter and cheap ink.

But yes Alex, I'm sure you remember the morning of your departure, hm? Guess you didn't follow Jack's advice, and I was too stupid to notice, but it's too late now obviously. I didn't even know up until a week ago.

It's healthy though. He/She. Your mom is going slightly crazy with me. Apparently being pregnant means I have to lie down and eat cookies while she fusses over me. I'm not even like...too pregnant yet. I don't really have a bump. I tried to call my mom and tell her the news, but she didn't pick up.

I'm wondering if there's anymore news that I can share with you, but I think the rest of it will bore you. One of the guys, Trevor Fickle, he got back yesterday. He lost his leg and has returned home to recover. I asked him about you, but he just stared at me as if I were a blank wall. His eyes were drained of any emotion whatsoever. He looked like a walking corpse.

Please tell me you're not like him.

Alas, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to end it on this note though, because your mom needs help with baking her famous cookies. She finally told me the recipe, and I'm pretty stoked about that. It's one of the few things that puts a smile on my face.

I hope it does for you too.

Love Always,

Your Kit x

P.S. attached is a mixtape made by me. It has all your favourite songs on it. Please make Cam listen to it too so he can listen to some proper music.