Savor the Moment

Chapter 4

---- 89 days left ----

I found her huddled in one of the curtains in backstage. She was sobbing softly, seemingly not to have notice me. A lot like high school actually. I kicked a stray nail to alert her of my presence. She jumped, but didn't stop crying. Does everyone just leave after a show? Where was everyone?

"Hey." I said softly, kneeling by her. I was unsure if I was supposed to hug her or not. She leaned into me still crying, and I took that as a signal to hug her. "Rachel. What's up?" I said putting my arm around her. Her tears subsided a little.

"I love Jesse." My heart sank, the big L word, huh? I mean I knew they were engaged but still, a girl can hope. "I want the others to love him too, but every time I bring him around to hang out with them, they always insult him. It never ends well. Which makes me think," she buried her face in my shirt, so I could barely hear what she said next. "It makes me think that maybe he's not my soul mate..." She fell silent and I rubbed small circles in her back. I silently cheered but pulled myself into a morose state for her.

"Rach..." It seemed, for the moment, that was all that needed to be said.

"My friends have good judgement, don't they?" She continued. I thought for a moment. C'mon Shakespearean poetry minor! Do your thing!

"Listen to what your heart says Rachel." She let out a strangle sort of noise. "I know it's sappy, but listen to your heart and listen to your friends, because typically, they collide." She giggled through her tears, and wiped them away, finally pulling away from me. Instantly my body became colder from the lack of contact.

"You make me want to be your boyfriend Quinn." I cringed. "No!" She said immediately, noticing the cringe. "Lucy! Sorry!" I shook my head and laughed.

"No, it's not that it's just, it's just-"

"What?"

"Well Finn was an...outlier I guess." Rachel gave me an odd look.

"What do you mean?"

"I never really loved Puck, just hooked up with him I suppose, and Sam was an idiot. No, still is." We both shared a laugh. "I did love Finn though. He was the only one I did love of the guys I dated."

"I'm still confused though. I mean, I understand loving Finn, but what do you mean by outlier?"

"It's complicated." I looked away and she moved my head to look at her. I hope she didn't see the goosebumps go up my arm.

"Tell me." she looked over at me with those big brown eyes. I looked away again, how could I ever resist her?

"Well, I don't know. Mostly through high school I was denying the truth." She waited for me to continue but when I didn't make eye contact and my moth stayed closed she asked.

"Denying what truth?"

"You know how I changed everything about my appearance when I went to high school? Including my name?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, when I did that I turned into Quinn Fabray, bitchy head cheerio, and queen bee."

"Skip ahead... um, Lucy." she was clearly still uncomfortable saying my name.

"Quinn Fabray was a good Christian girl afraid of her feelings. I- I'm not. I'm not Quinn Fabray. I'm Lucy. And, um, well Lucy doesn't try to be a good Christian girl. She accepts herself." Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Third person now?" We laughed.

"Yeah, something like that. Listen what I'm trying to tell you now is- it's just-" I sighed. Cmon Fabray spit it out! "What I'm trying to say is- do you understand?"

"No." She laughed a little. Did I ever mention how beautiful her laugh was? And, just like that, I lost my nerve.

"Let's go to the restaurant." I stood up and held out my hand. She took it and I helped her up. She smiled and walked in front of me. We walked out and into the street where I tried and failed at least four times to hail a cab. Finally Rachel used her massive lungs to call (read: screech) for one.

"You have to tell me sooner or later Ms. Lucy Fabray." She called out from in front of her, laughing I helped her into the cab and closed the door.

Before I walked in to the cab myself, I took a quick breath. She was just as amazing, no more amazing then I remembered her. I felt the picture in my pocket and I took it out. The wind flapped it and I released it. I watched it go for a second, climbing higher and higher into the clouds. That was my past. That picture kept me alive for years, but now I have the real thing. I don't need a broken picture I found in the library.

I went inside the cab, and didn't see the picture again.

When we arrived at the restaurant it was weird. She seemed, almost scared to go in, her eyes glazed over and she seemed unsure of herself. Her hands began to shake, I took them and she looked up at me. I gave her a smile.

"Okay?"

"This isn't the fault in our stars Lucy." she said rolling her eyes. I laughed to.

"Don't even talk to me about that book!" We laughed a little more and walked into together, still holding hands. That book was awful.

---- elsewhere ----

"Hon, when will you clean the car?" Emma asked Mr. Shuester the next morning, over breakfast.

"It's on the list." He briefly looked up from his paper before looking down again.

"I'm not going into there until you clean it Will." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll do it later." She would probably go in there if she was forced to, he wasn't too worried. Then again this was Emma Pillsbury-Shuester they were talking about. He wouldn't put anything past her.