Savor the Moment

Chapter 6

When we got out of the taxi and arrived in her apartment and the first thing I noticed was the smell. The smell of stale alcohol. Santana directed me to a tiny room off to the side.

"This is where you sleep." she said gruffly and made her way to the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a bottle that she began to nurse immediately. She gave a me a hard glare. "Don't judge me blondie." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm a brunette." She smirked and flicked her hair.

"Always a blondie in my eyes bitch." She took a rather large girl and I averted my eyes. "I'm sorry did you want some?" The Latina offered some and I shook my head.

"I need to stay somber tonight. I assume we're doing some deep soul digging." I said with a slight smirk, and brushed my hair away. Santana shook her head and gave a fake grin.

"Fine me first. Why did you leave us? I know you answered with that fake answer or whatever, but I'm your best friend. I can read you like a book. Why did you actually leave?" Right to the deep stuff wow. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Rachel." I answered honestly and she seemed pretty shocked.

"You hated her so much you couldn't even be around your mutual friends?" Santana crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

"No. Quite the opposite actually. After I left for Yale in senior year visiting was painful. My family was still in shambles but I was also trying to um, deny myself." I looked away.

"Deny yourself?"

"Yeah. And um, it didn't work. So I came back." She thought a minute then her eyes widened in surprise and delight.

"Oh my god. You're gay. You're gay for Berry! Berry?" I remained silent. "Wow!"

"Don't insult her, she's amazing in every way shape or form!" I yelled and she just starting laughing harder. "I hate you."

"Hey! What do you call a dumb blond who dyes her hair brown?"

"It was naturally brown!"

"Artificial intelligence!" Santana was wiping tears out of her eyes. "That's a good one!" I rolled my eyes.

"Dumb blond jokes aside, its my-"

"Your gay! You're gay for gay Berry!" She was rolling on the ground.

"Okay, moving on. What I'm trying to say is-"

"This is hilarious wait until I tell Britt- Brittany." She was instantly somber and I helped her up and into a chair.

"What's up with you and Brittany?" I asked softly and she looked away.

"We aren't separated or divorced or anything it's just-" she sighed. "I messed up big, L." I went over and sat down next to her.

"What happened?" She began to cry.

"When I got my record deal we suddenly had all this money. Money we didn't know what to do with. Sh-she wanted to fulfill her dreams too. So I bought her a studio so she could teach dance.

"Well, that's great! What happened?" I cocked my head to the side and she just buried her face in her hands.

"She hired a bunch of people to help out and got a bunch of students. She absolutely loved every second of it, and the sex was great. But you know how Brittany is, one day she started talking about unicorns and fairies, and rainbows, all the stuff that make her amazing."

"Yeah?" My heart sank, I knew this might happen eventually.

"They called some hospital, and the dipshits there told me she had stunted development, schizophrenia, and probably autism. Th-then they took her!" Santana burst into some even heavier tears.

"Oh, San." There wasn't anything I could say. "Is that why you're still wearing your coat?" To the untrained eye this might look like a non-sequitur. But I know Santana.

"Yeah." she said gruffly. I gently pulled it up and looked at the damage. I sighed and took her bottle from her.

"How long has she been in there?" I asked putting a hand on her shoulder. She scowled and rubbed her eyes. I'm guessing she was trying to be angry instead of sad.

"3 fucking months." Santana growled.

"Why haven't you told anyone?! Sam still cares about her! You could've told him!" I knew at once it was the wrong thing to say.

"Like hell I will! That dick! Nobody listens anymore! We're all to afraid! Jessie's got Rachel wrapped around his finger and you know Rachel is our leader! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! Kurt has no backbone anymore! Mercedes is almost afraid to be sassy! WE NEED SOMEONE!! WE NEEDED THE HBIC TO PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE! Kitty feels guilty for Rachel, and Artie and her are constantly getting into fights about it! Why do you think that is? WE NEEDED YOU AND YOU WERE ON SOME FUCKING SOUL SEARCHING MISSION TO REALIZE SOMETHING EVERYONE HAD KNOWN FOR YEARS! SHE NEEDED YOU AND YOU WERE GONE!" I knew instantly that Santana wasn't talking about Rachel, but Brittany now. "NOW SHE'S BEEN IN THAT PRISON FOR MONTHS BECAUSE I'M TOO AFRAID TO GET HELP! IM SANTANA FUCKING LOPEZ! SINCE WHEN AM I AFRAID?!" She gestured around the apartment to all the empty bottles. "SINCE WHEN IS ANY OF THIS ME?!?" She gestured at the cuts. "Samcedes and Tike have been visiting less and less, and one day they'll drop out just like you did! But this time they won't drop back in! Because you weren't here to get rid of Jessie when he first got here! I know! I know! If I tell anyone about Brittany, Jessie will find out and convince Rachel she's supposed to be there! And everyone else will think the same!" I looked back at her cuts and cleared my throat.

"Worse then last time." I put the jacket down. "Go to bed. We'll talk more in the morning." The Latina nodded, crying silently. As soon as she left I picked my self up and fell into bed. I almost took a deep breath before I remembered what the air smelled like. Then I vowed to get an air freshener.