My Chieftess... ✨Scripted✨ version

Episode 12: Snuffnut

Snotlout: I thought we were supposed to leave the Changewings alone. This looks like pretty much the opposite of that.

Ruffnut: Tuff? Tuff!

Throk: Are you hurt?

Ruffnut: No. Snuffnut would never intentionally cause me harm.

Snotlout: I think someone forgot to fill Snuffnut in on that.

Ruffnut: Whoa!

Throk: Ruffnut! While it gives me great glory to save your life, I feel as though perhaps we must allow this dragon to go free, as you should set free the pain that lives in your heart. Come with me, Ruffnut. Start a new life back on our island. I will provide for you. I will care for you. And, most importantly, I will kill for you.

Ruffnut: That is so sweet, Throk. I- I- I could never let go of that pain! I could never leave Snuffnut. And if I should die, then at least once again, my brother and I will be reunited. Reunited. Reunited.

Snotlout: Okay, I've got two questions. First of all, why are you doing this? Second, most importantly, why am I doing this?

Fishlegs: The art of topiary, on the surface, may seem trivial and unimportant. But when one digs deeper, one finds serenity, peace, tranquility. Now, let's see what we've all created. I will go first. I call this "Infinite Search for Being". Snotlout?

Snotlout: I call this "Barren Soul Wrapped in Nothingness". It was between that and "My Lousy Childhood".

Throk: I call this "What Does that Changewing Have that I Don't Have?"

Snotlout: Well, for starters, her brother is in its stomach.

Fishlegs: Whoa, you really do love her, don't you?

Snotlout: Yeah. But why?

Throk: Her eyes, like the ink of the giant squid I defeated handily eight moons past. The way she massages the feet.

Fishlegs: Uh, Ruffnut massaged your feet?

Throk: No. Her own. Uh and her brother's.

Snotlout: And that, my dear Throkie, is your "problemo". Twins? Package deal. Can't have one without the other, even if one is currently making his way through the digestive tract of an invisible dragon.

Throk: That's it! That's the answer. My mission is clear. Thank you both. You've been a great help.

Tuffnut: Okay, let's review. The pros and cons of living life as a dead guy. Pros: no chores, because you're dead. That's a good one. All right, now. Ooh, good one. And deep thinking for a domesticated avian vertebrate. That means chicken. Of course you knew that.

Hiccup: All right, that's it. This little plan of yours is completely out of control. You're gonna tell Ruff you're alive before that Changewing or one of his friends really does eat someone.

Tuffnut: Fine. You can take "Hiccup can't boss me around" off the list. Even in death, I am a mere servant to this one-legged dictator with a weak chin.

Hiccup: Okay, great. Now, let's get this done, shall we?

Ruffnut: Nobody understands the bond we share, bro. Nobody.

Throk: I do, Ruffnut. I understand.

Ruffnut: Throk, what are you doing? Leave my brother alone!

Throk: I'm not going to hurt him. But if he's going to be a part of our family, there are going to be some rules. It's okay, Snuff. It's your new brother. I'm here to help. That's right, big boy. You and I are going to have an understanding. See? We're bonding. We may still have some work to do!

Hiccup: Ruff, what happened?

Ruffnut: Throk and Snuffnut had a difference of opinion on his training. Now all the Changewings are trying to kill Throk!

Tuffnut: Well, that was pretty stupid.

Ruffnut: [screams] Hiccup, look out! Tuffnut's ghost is here!

Hiccup: He's not a ghost.

Tuffnut: I'm just me.

Ruffnut: Oh, well, isn't that exactly what a ghost would say?

Tuffnut: No. A ghost would never say that. A ghost would say something like- Look! Would a ghost do that?

Ruffnut: Yours would.

Hiccup: We need to get Throk out of there. So you two get your dragon, ghost or no ghost, and let's get him some help now.

Tuffnut: Fine.

Hiccup: If we push them out to the edge of the reef, they'll move on to the next island.

Snotlout: Snotlout!

Hiccup: Toothless, dive! Gotcha!

Ruffnut: Ooh!

Tuffnut: Whoo! Yeah!

Fishlegs: Um, I don't think they're leaving, Hiccup.

Hiccup: Just give them a minute.

Tuffnut: Wow. How cool am I as a Changewing? Hey! Leave my dragon self alone!

Fishlegs: The flock won't fly with him unless he can go full cloak. It's too risky for them.

Ruffnut: It's all my fault! My undying love for my brother will be the end of this glorious beast!

Tuffnut: Wait. Methinks there is another way. Yes! I have it. Aah! Aah! By the way, I love you too. And I want you to be happy.

Ruffnut: I know you do. But how can I be happy if we're not together?

Tuffnut: We will be together.

Ruffnut: Hold that thought. [screams] Okay, go.

Tuffnut: We will be together. It'll just be different!

Ruffnut: You are the best brother, bro!

Tuffnut: Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! All right!

Ruffnut: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Tuffnut: Yeah! Whoo! Ha-ha! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Ruffnut: So long, Snuffnut.

Throk: Wait. I have something to say.

Ruffnut: I'm all ears, Throkie.

Throk: Well, I've been doing a great deal of soul-searching. I've realized that you and Tuffnut, you belong together. I can't take you away from here and deprive you of the twin bond you enjoy. When joined together as one, you are a force and one that must remain intact for the good of the archipelago. Ha! Hair, it smells of flounder. Skin, rough like the coral of a thousand-year-old reef.

Tuffnut: So, uh, you okay?

Ruffnut: Yeah. I think so. Maybe a little guilty. Poor guy.

Tuffnut: Guilty? Wait. You were never-

Ruffnut: I was never gonna go with him. Are you crazy? Oh, by the way, thanks for killing yourself for me.

Tuffnut: Yeah, no sweat. It actually turns out being dead is not as much fun as it seems.

Ruffnut: Well, then I guess we both learned something.

Tuffnut: Or one of us did and the other one wasted a lot of time.