My Chieftess... ✨Scripted✨ version

Episode 12: Snuffnut

Ruffnut: Oh. Yeah, no can do, Throkie-Poo. You see, we're a package deal. You wouldn't understand.

Throk: Then help me to understand.

Ruffnut: Oh, it's simple. Born together, live together, die together.

Throk: (sadly) Grace of the Ancients.

(Scene switches to the Clubhouse of the Edge. Tuffnut is recounting the occurrence with Throk.)

Tuffnut: "Born together, live together, die together." Ha! I mean, is that great or what? You should've seen the soul-crushing look on old Throk-a-dilly's face.

Bodil: Wow. I just never thought you'd do that to your own sister.

Tuffnut: Do what?

Bodil: Get in the way of her happiness.

Hiccup: If Ruffnut really has feelings for Throk, it could mean she's passing up a chance at a lifetime of love and happiness.

Bodil: And same goes for you. Don't you ever want to meet a beautiful Viking girl (Bodil walks behind Hiccup and drapes her arms over his shoulders and touches her cheek to the side of his head) and have a family of your own?

Tuffnut: Of course. I already have girl. (He says pointing to Bo. Hiccup opens his mouth to say something, but Bodil stops him as if there is no point.)

Bodil: And what would happen if Ruffnut stood in the way of that?

Tuffnut: She would never. She's too good of a sister. I'm a monster! Oh, you think I don't know that? I mean, you think I'm not aware this is an impossible situation? Oh, how do I know? Come on, stop shaming me. I'm only human. Oh, no. She's breaking his little Defenders of the Wing heart. What have I done? Agreed, Chicken. Something must be done. She won't allow herself to be happy as long as these perfectly manicured feet walk this earth.

(Scene switches to Ruff, studying Throk's feet.)

Ruffnut: It's nail fungus. What you need, my friend, is a manicure. My brother is a genius with that.

Throk: I cannot stay another moment. The sadness is too much to-

(They enter the stables, and stop short, seeing Tuff's clothes lying in a heap on the floor)

Ruffnut: Tuff? Tuff! Those are Tuffnut's clothes. He's never taken those off, ever.

Snotlout: Ugh.

Ruffnut: He always said that the only way he'd come out of them is if he was- The Changewing ate my baby brother! Hear ye, hear ye! Peoples of the Edge and all creatures far and near we are present to read the will and last testament of one Tuffnut Laverne Thorston. "First item: one half stuffed yak". Hey! Half that yak is still mine!

Snotlout: Yeah? Which half?

Ruffnut: It's so obvious that the back half is his. (Miserably) Can none of you see that?

Throk: (valliantly) To me, nothing could be more obvious.

Ruffnut: "Next item! Sixteen pounds of properly pinched salt".

Fishlegs: Rest well, my salt-encrusted friend. Rest well. Why? Why, Odin? Why? You should have taken me! No, Meatlug, I'm not ready to go! This is the last time I'll see him!

Astrid: There's no way he's really gone, is there?

Bodil: Oh please; Tuffnut, eaten by a Changewing? That's just way too easy.

Hiccup: Funny. I was thinking exactly the same thing.

Bodil: We'll look into it.

Ruffnut: "As my last and final wish, I command you to burn all of these meaningless symbols of my earthly existence and dine in glorious reverence with a feast of Chicken in my honor".