What if I'm him?

Chapter Twenty-One

He felt himself nodding at something Masaru had said. Masaru pulled him out of the state of trance and embarrassment, placing his hand on Katsuki's shoulder. Then the couple walked out of the room, leaving Katsuki alone in a new room and confused. He looked around the room, it was very large and well decorated. It felt homey, had books lined up on shelves and a few succulents, and even the desk he was facing was littered with pictures he couldn't see and miniature figurines. The room's lights were off, but warm fairy lights hung and gave a dimmed and calm sensation.

While scanning the room, the door opened and a woman stepped inside. She smiled at Katsuki, introducing herself as Dr. Arslan, a psychiatrist, then sat down at the desk. She opened a few drawers, taking out pieces of paper and a notebook. She grabbed a pen from the decorative cup and leaned back in her chair.

"Katsuki," she says, "May I call you that?"

Katsuki nodded.
"Alright. I'm sure your parents explained why I am here, right?"

Katsuki didn't respond.

She hummed, "That's alright. Do you have any idea why I might be here?"

"Um," Katsuki cleared his throat, "Is it about yesterday?"

She nodded, "It is, Katsuki. You're not in trouble, don't worry. We are just very concerned, we want to know why yesterday's events happened. Everything that is said inside here is confidential, unless you are planning to hurt yourself or others. Since you are still a minor, I do have to tell your parents about any diagnosis that I may give you, if I do give you one. I hope that is clear. Now, can I ask you what happened yesterday?"

Katsuki frowned, "I hurt myself." She nodded for him to continue. "I hurt my parents and I broke a cup and got their house dirty."

She wrote in her notebook, "Katsuki, can I ask you to go more in detail?"

"I can't. I don't remember much."

She wrote. "That's okay. Do you remember why you hurt yourself?"

"No."

"That's alright. What do you remember? Moments, feelings, thoughts?"

He bit his lip, slowly interlocking his fingers. "I don't know. I felt mad." He made eye contact with her, she stayed still, listening to him. He shrugged, "I don't know why I was so mad. I don't think," he hesitated, "my mom did anything to me. I know I broke a cup, but I didn't mean to!" Defending himself. "I just wanted to hold it myself, you know? I don't know what I said or anything, I just see flashes? Is that the right word?"

"Whatever you believe is correct."

He pursed his lips, "I don't remember hurting her, but I know I did. I think. Did I hurt

her?"

Dr. Arslan paused her writing, taking a few moments before speaking, "Would you excuse me for a moment?"

Katsuki nodded. Dr. Arslan stood from her seat, closing the notebook and slipping it under her arm. She walked off the door, not long, just a few short minutes passed until she came back.

She smiled at Katsuki, "Thank you for waiting," she sat down. "Continue, please."

"Um, did I hurt her?"

"Katsuki, I would like it if you tell me your side of the story first. I can answer all other questions after, is that okay?" He nodded. "Wonderful. Continue, please."

"I don't know what happened next, just little flashes? I still don't know if that is the right word, but I saw moments of these. I was just suddenly in the bathroom, in the tub. I don't know how I got there. I got up, I walked to the mirror, I don't know how. I don't know why I did it, I didn't mean to."