My Chieftess... ✨Scripted✨ version

Episode 4: Snotlout's Angels

Atali: Well-

Snotlout: He obviously handpicked me to come to Valhalla, so he must want to hang out with the Snotman, catch up, lay down some warrior gifts on me.

Atali: You are not in Valhalla, Snotman.

Snotlout: Yeah, it's actually Snotlout. Okay, let's go see the "O" guy.

Atali: My Wingmaidens rescued you from a terrible storm. You are alive and well and on our island home.

Snotlout: Well, if I'm not dead, then where's Hookfang?

Atali: Just calm yourself. You are safe from all dragons while you are here. Now drink from this golden goblet. This is the purest of all herbal tea. It will give you great strength.

Snotlout: Don't mind if I do. Mmm! This is delicious. Me-likey. Ah. Grab another bottle of this, will ya? I wanna take this with me. (Wingmaidens glare at him in disapproval.) Uh. Please?

(Scene switches to the Riders, flying over the ocean in search of Snotlout)

Tuffnut: Man, this is impossible! It's like looking for a bonehead in a thunderstorm.

Ruffnut: Is that supposed to be a metaphor?

Tuffnut: Yeah, a little on the nose? Well, my brain is wet.

Hiccup: Hey, Toothless? Let's try again. (Toothless uses echolocation) Still nothing.

Astrid: Hiccup, we're never gonna find anything out here. I can barely see Stormfly's head in front of me.

Fishlegs: Astrid's right, Hiccup. Maybe we should go back to the Edge and wait it out, then when it's more-

Hiccup: Guys, wait. Do you see that?

Fishlegs: Is that-

Hiccup: Hookfang! We've seen him do this before.

Fishlegs: He wants us to follow him.

Bodil: What's Snotlout gotten himself into this time?

Snotlout: So he says to the other Viking, "You're Thor?" "I'm tho Thor I can barely thit down." Now this is how you treat a man. Bodil should be here taking some notes. You feel me on that?

Atali: Mr. Snotlout, although we are honored to have you as our guest, your attitude towards women is completely unacceptable.

Snotlout: Hey, I always talk like this. I dig chicks, uh, women-

Atali: And that is why you must respect them, revere them. Do you understand?

Snotlout: Loud and clear.

Atali: Perfect. Get some rest. For this evening, you will be the guest of honor at our "Feast of Freya". We've been preparing the sacred stew for days now. Just a few final ingredients and it will be ready to ingest. You, Mr. Snotlout, will be the centerpiece of our celebration.

Snotlout: So, this sacred stew, what exactly makes it so "sacred"?

Atali: Oh, I'm afraid we couldn't reveal that, Snotlout. If we did, well-

Snotlout: Oh, let me guess. You'd have to kill me?

Atali: That's one way to put it.

Snotlout: Huh? You guys are kidding, right? I mean, with all of my respect and revering I'm doing here, you wouldn't— I'm no one's stew. I don't care how sacred or delicious it is.

Atali: Run if you must, Snotlout. But, I'm afraid we cannot let you leave Wingmaiden Island.

Snotlout: This is so typical. I finally meet some cool chicks that I can hang out with, who get my jokes, dig me as a leader and as a warrior, and it turns out all they want to do is make me into some crappy stew. You don't think I'll do it, do you? You don't think I have the guts? Well, guess what, baby? I'm all guts. Check this out. Nothing but guts here. Oh, no! I did it. I'm alive. I'm in one piece. Those lunatics will never have the stones to- What in the name of Thor? No. You can't do this. I'm not edible. I'd be tough, gamey. Wait, are you flying? How are you flying? Help me!