High School dropout

"long sleeves"

I looked at myself in the mirror i looked like someone had beaten me up, my black eye shadow was smudged; mascara running down my face from tears. I broke down again. It's been a week since I've got out of the hospital, and I've already broke down again.
~flash back~
"Hey are you ok Gabby, I've missed you since you've been in the hospital." John smiled looking in my eyes. "Yeah I'm fine now. " i said fake smiling. John looked at me quietly. "Can we hang out this afternoon?" John smiled a little bit
"Yeah sure."
**flash back over **
I was back home from Alex's house after school when it happened: My mum was home for some random occasion. "What are you doing here Mum?" I said sincerely. She got up from the couch and looked at me. "Why were you in the hospital?" She said coming closer to me. "I passed out ; i had a panic attack." I lied. "Gabby, I'm going to rehab; you're gonna have to go with your father's house now." "Okay." I bit my lip from crying. I didn't really care about my mum that much, but going to my dad's house is hell. We live in the shittiest house and he's gone most of the time; like my mum but we live in the skecthiest neighborhood too. Alot of people from my school are in it, and it just sucks cause they'll come to my dad's house and talk shit being drunk as hell. "Gabby?" My mum questioned taking me back to reality. "Yep?" I said looking back at her. " i want you to go to bed now, your father will come to pick you up tomorrow morning, it'll be really early." She said informing me going up to her room. I slammed my back down my wall falling to the ground with my hands covering my face. Tears streaming down my face into my face. I grabbed my phone and dialed Alex's number. "Gabby? It's like 11 now but What's up?" I let out a whimper tears still streaming. "Gabby what's wrong?" He said worried. "Alex pick me up right now." I said trying to not to whimper again. I looked outside my window seeing Alex drive in my driveway. I walked down the stairs putting on an oversized sweater over my tank top. I wiped the tears off my face not letting Alex see my tears. I walked in the car fake smiling at Alex like always. He backed out of the drive way driving to his house i looked out the window wondering what's it like to feel happy because I watch myself fall apart again and again like it's a game. I felt Alex's hand touch mine and wrap his hand around mine rubbing it with hid thumb. "I know you have your scars why do you hide them?" He asked holding my hand more tightly. "Because I'm not comfortable with people seeing my scars." I said feeling my throat going tighter and tighter. He pulled into his driveway walking out the car into the house. I saw Ash sit there smiling at me. They both exchanged a look to each other. "We know you have scars so why do you hide them from us?" They both said together. "Because I'm not comfortable with people seeing my scars." I said dropping my stuff om the ground i walked over to the couch plopping myself down tired. They both exchanged each other another look, they walked to the couch acting normal plopping themselves down the couch too. I left Alex's arm around my waist. What the fuck. He's never this flirty with me. He pulled me closer to him. What the fuck. And then he lifted me up around his waist i held around his neck trying not to fall. "I love you Gabby. Promise me you'll try and stay clean for me?" He whispered in my ear. I held tighter onto him. "I'll try." I whispered in his ear. He kissed me on the cheek. Ash came behind me and held my arms so i couldn't escape they both pinned me down and pulled up my sleeves. They took off my sweater. "You can be comfortable around us. We're your best friends." They said smiling. "Fine but only for tonight." I said looking at my arms.
IM SO SORRY FOR BEING INACTIBE FOR ALMOST A MONTH I'M RLLY SORRY.
-American Shame ❤