My Chieftess... ✨Scripted✨ version

Episode 2: Crash Course

Hiccup: I know.

Snotlout: Now I get it! That Crasher thing doesn't just push dragons out for no reason. It's scavenging for eggs! It was trying to get here all long! To her hive! What a jerk of a dragon! This is why she came for us, Hookfang! She knew we would help! And that's exactly what we're gonna do! Uh, did you hear me, Hookfang? Help her! Jeez, what's wrong with you?

Snotlout: (to Fireworm Queen) You want me to... me? I'm Snotlout! I'm completely irresponsible! Okay, okay, okay! I got it, I got you! Um, hello, guys? Hatching baby dragon over here! Way about my pay grade!

Snotlout: Oh my gosh! Hookfang, did you hear that? It was a little baby dragon roar! (meows) Oh, look! It doesn't even have his fire yet! (singing) Baa, baa, black yak, have you any fur? Yes sir, yes sir, more than you can muster! I'll be the judge said the little viking boy. Gimme, gimme, gimme or I'll mace you into a toy. My mom used to sing that to me. Oh, it's just so freaking cute and so freaking... hot! Get it off! Ha, ha! Baa, baa black yak, go, you crazy black yak! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Tuff: You know, believe it or not, that blast really opened up my sinuses!

Ruff: Oh yeah? What can you smell?

Tuff: Lemme see! Burning nose hair with a faint whisper of musk!

Ruff: Mm! Six days and counting!

Fishlegs: Oh Thor! Oh Thor! Of Thor! Oh, don't! What's it doing?

Hiccup: Eggs!

Fishlegs: Babies?

Tuff: Dinner! What? It seemed to go! You know, it seemed to work, rhythm-wise.

Hiccup: The Fireworm Queen's eggs!

Bodil: That's why she didn't abandon her hive!

Fishlegs: O-ho-ho! No, you don't!

Hiccup: Great work, gang!

Astrid: Looks like Ugly here isn't making it to the hive!

Tuff: Wait, are you guys leaving me here?

Bodil: Not you Tuff, the dragon!

Hiccup: Okay, now let's try to figure out how to get it out of here for good! Grab those bolas! We'll try again!

Fishlegs: Hiccup, did you just see that? It collapsed his skeleton...

Tuff: And squeezed through the cracks. Yes! I told you!

Ruff: Once again, nobody listen to the "nut".

Tuff: The "nut" is all-knowing!

Ruff: The "nut" is all-seeing!

Tuff: The "nut" is all-believing!

Astrid: Maybe the "nut" knows how to get through this cave-in!

Tuff: The "nut" knows not! Doesn't know how to get through this cave-in.

Snotlout: We'll just get them out of here and that's all! Oh, of course! Isn't this just my luck? Shh, shh! Please be quiet, please be quiet! As a dragon expert, I don't think that's gonna help right now! (singing) Hush, little Fireworm, don't you roar, or this thing's coming through the floor. If it does, then we're all done. 'Cause it's gonna fry us like sun! (to Fireworm Queen) Why do babies always make you pay like that?

Astrid: It's no use, Hiccup! It's too dense! It'll take us forever to blast through!

Fishlegs: And there's no way around it this time! We've gotta get through here!

Hiccup: He-hey, Nuts! What do you mean "the nut knows not"? The "nut" knows!

Tuff: The "nut" does?

Hiccup: He certainly does!

Tuff: Alright! Of course he does!

Ruff: Who are we talking about again?

Tuff: I don't know. I don't know, just go with it!

Hiccup: And if there was ever a time for the "nut" to use their all-knowingness and their experts stone-carving skills, it's right now!

Tuff: You're right! I owe it to my public! Sister "nut"?

Ruff: I live for my craft!

Tuff: Fire in the hole!

Snotlout: Okay guys! This is it! It's us three against a huge mucus-shooting, nasty killer dragon! Or, maybe the two of you can take this one! Alright, okay, it was just a suggestion! It's go time, dragons! Hey, Crasher! Nice of you to show up! We were expecting you! Queenie, now! Okay, that didn't work so good! We have a plan B, no? Probably should've had a plan B? Good think, Hookfang! Oh, c'mon, really? Hookfang, hatchlings! Okay, Hookfang, this is it! Moment of truth! We're not letting it get to these babies! Don't worry little guy. Uncle Snot and Cousin Fang are here!

Hiccup: Snotlout?

Snotlout: Hiccup, don't come down here!

Hiccup: Be careful, guys! Crasher's slime!

Tuff: Perhaps, we should be careful of that, as well? Don't you think?

Hiccup: Whoa!

Snotlout: Hookfang, what are you doing? We're in the middle of a fight! They're combining their firepower! They cooked the mucus right off him! Well, kids, it looks like our Crasher just crashed! Why don't we show it the door? Oh, no! This guy will not give up!

Hiccup: Maybe you need some back-up!

Snotlout: Ha ha ha ha! Right! But remember, you're only back-up!

Hiccup: Oh, I know, pal!

Astrid: Yes!

Fishlegs: Whoo-ho-hoo!

Tuff: Alright! Back in business!

Snotlout: I know, I know, I defied orders again!

Hiccup: No, you didn't! I never ordered you to do anything! This one was all you!

Snotlout: Why didn't you try to stop me?

Hiccup: Would you? Have stopped, that is.

Snotlout: Probably not.

Hiccup: Then why we are talking about it?

Snotlout: You know, I could've gotten killed in there.

Hiccup: Yeah, but you didn't. You crushed it today, Snotlout! You really did! This was all you!

Snotlout: Thanks for the back-up! Ha ha ha ha!

Tuff: We did it again! Only we could have made something this glorious! We call it: "The Ballad of the Lout versus the Crasher"! It's breathtaking!

Astrid: Um, isn't a ballad technically a song?

Ruff: No! S'not!

Tuff: Get it? It's snot! That's the whole idea! We made it a ballad so people would be like: "Isn't it this?" and then we say: "S'not".

Snotlout: Well, I love it. Although, what do you think ladies, would you say my likeness is handsome and chiseled enough?

Bodil: Oh, for the love of Thor!

Snotlout: Well, just off the top of my head. They got my hair wrong, they got my eyebrows wrong, they got my eyes wrong...

Tuff: This has been a great day!

Snotlout: (still talking to no one in particular) ...they got my chin wrong, they got my chin bone wrong...