Chapter 5

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I woke up before Gerard, admiring his sleeping form for a couple of minutes before remembering last night and the way he had spoken about his brother. I had to figure out what had happened to my poor Gee and his brother or else I would go insane, well more insane than I am already.

"Gerard," I cooed, gently shaking him.

"Fuck off." He mumbled, turning over and burying his in his pillow.

"If that's how it's gonna be," I rolled my eyes, before jumping on top of him and shaking him like crazy. "Wake up asshat!" I yell while continuing to shake him.

"I'm up, I'm up!" He yelled back at me, sitting upright.

"Good, because we have to talk." I climb off of him and instead sit next to him with my legs crossed.

"About..." He trailed off nervously.

"What happened with your brother and why were you so sad when you mentioned him last night?" I asked bluntly.

"I'm just sad that I had to leave him behind for this stupid hospital." Gerard murmured softly, looking down at his fidgeting hands.

"Bullshit. What really happened?" I took his hands in mine, forcing him to look me in eye.

"Frank," He begged, desperation in his eyes.

"I want to help you Gee, but I can't when you won't let me in. I told you my past, now it's time for you to return the favor. Please." I looked into his eyes with the most sincere look I could muster, begging him to let me inside that little head of his.

"Okay, but after group therapy and art. During the recreational period." Gerard agreed reluctantly.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

***

Group therapy went agonizingly slow, art as well. I couldn't wait to know more about Gerard's past and that mysterious brother of his.

As soon as we were dismissed from art for recreational period I grabbed Gerard by the wrist and practically dragged him to our room. I sat him down on my bed against the headboard and I sat opposite of him cross legged.

"So..." He trailed off, looking anywhere but at me.

"You're past..." I prompted him, not wanting to sound pushy and rude.

He sighed, "Fine, but you are not allowed to comment and/or interrupt in any way until I'm done telling my story."

"I promise."

"Okay. It all started on the day my grandmother died. I was super close to her, almost closer to her than I was to Mikey, my little brother." He pauses, looking down at his hands. I take one of his hands in mine, rubbing circles on the back of it with my thumb. He looks up to me and I smile encouragingly.

Gerard took a deep breath before starting again, "My grandmother had been sick for awhile, but none of us expected her to die so suddenly. When I heard the news, I just crumbled. I cried for weeks on end, not talking to anybody except for Mikey, but that stopped when he mentioned therapy. I shut everyone out.

"On one of the days that I walked out of my room, when the house was completely empty, I stumbled across my parents' alcohol cupboard. Without thinking I grabbed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey. I ran to my room, locked the door, and downed the entire bottle of whiskey in two goes. The vodka only took me four." Gerard paused again, physically cringing at the memory, then continued.

"After both of the bottles were gone, I grabbed my pencil sharpener from school and forced the razor out. By the end of the night I had fifty cuts on each leg. Every night for about two months I would cut, the amount ranging from ten to fifty per leg, depending on the day. I would usually only do fifty if I had been drinking.

"One day Mikey came home early from school, unexpected of course. He knocked on my door, saying that he was home and asked if I wanted to watch a movie with him. When I didn't answer he opened the door and saw the empty vodka bottle next to me and the half empty whiskey in my hand. He ran over and tried to take the bottle from me, but I slapped him hard across the face. He still managed to get the bottle though, and he ran out of my room. I caught up to him at the top of the staircase. I was so, so drunk." Gerard sighed, his eyes tearing up.

"Without thinking I pushed him down the stairs. Mikey was in the hospital for a month. A whole fucking month.

"I couldn't deal with the guilt. So on the Sunday of the fourth week, I overdosed on pills and sliced my wrists open, after cutting up my legs up to the point that I couldn't even recognize them. My mom found me, half dead on my bedroom floor in a pool of my own blood and a deathly pale. She called the ambulance and two months later, here I am, locked up in the looney bin for unwanted, 'mentally ill' teenagers." He ended in disgust. I think I should feel offended by his last comment, but he was just stating the truth.

Blueman Mental Hospital is the garbage can designated for the unwanted, insane, and 'mentally ill' teenagers that society couldn't be bothered to have.

I throw myself onto Gerard, much like the first night we were together.

"I want you, Gee." I whispered into his neck.

He just hugged me back tighter as I felt his tears trickle onto my cheek.

A/N: Hello my wonderful lovelies!! Lol another update less than two weeks after the previous one! I'm really liking this fanfic idk, what do you guys think? Anyways, I just wanted to say that I have another fanfic called My Life With My Chemical Romance and it would be awesome if you could check it out. Thank you guys 5ever and you guys are gr9. Please let me know any grammatical errors and I will fix them asap!
Till next time,
Zowie



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