Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Too Much Too Soon

My head began pounding as my eyes flickered open unsteadily. My room, which I had once loved and found myself proud of, became a reminder of the disaster I was living in. I laid in bed for a little bit, not caring it was already 11:30. It was weird to imagine that just a week ago, my optimism was literally shooting out of my ass. It was as if my whole body went through this transition of change that brought me nerves, paranoia and fright...but it also gave me the most genuine hope and happiness that I could ever have wished for. At this point, I wasn't sure which was worse.

Last night was the most beautiful experience of my life. If I could, I would trade every moment of my reality for that dream to go on forever. Nothing else mattered beside the two of us. Maybe that wasn't just because of the fact it was a dream. Maybe it was because we were in love. Whatever the case, it was perfect.

After 15 minutes of dwelling in bed, I dragged my ass down the stairs and made myself a cup of coffee. A note from my parents laid on the counter.

Layla, we're out grocery shopping. Be back in a couple of hours! Love, mom & dad.

I chuckled slightly upon reading the note, proceeding to crumble it up and throw it out.

"Lots of love," I say sarcastically.

Once my coffee had finished brewing, I made my way outside to take a seat in the sun. Birds were chirping, bugs were flying...I could barely keep my attention on any one thing before getting distracted. It was hot outside, but the shivers were crawling through my spine. My phone had buzzed occasionally, making me jump each time.

After a while I checked the messages to see that Danielle and Damion had sent me texts.

Danielle: Heyyy, how you feeling? Are you okay?

Just looking at it and noticing she had reached out to me made me nervous. Did she really care? Why is she asking if I'm okay? Is she trying to suggest I'm sick? That I'm a lost cause? There was no way I was answering her. A second later I opened up Damion's text.

Damion: Layla!! It's been one whole day and I'm just checking up on you to see how things went. Did they work? Let me know when you get a chance, hun.

I half smiled upon reading Damion's text. It was rather sweet and he was just making sure that the pills worked. That's all. He wasn't accusing me of anything. Nope. He was good. He was all right with me.

That's when I remembered the Adderall. Maybe that would curve my distraction and anxiety enough to get me through the day? It had only been an hour and time seemed to be dragging by. It felt as if I was counting the hours that I could see Billie. There was really no reason not to take those pills, I bought them.

Would Billie be upset if I did? I don't want to make him angry, but I like seeing him care about me. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but it's not like I have any choice here. I need this. This will help me. Yeah, it'll help me.

I made my way into my house and upstairs. I grabbed my little container and pulled out an Adderall, accompanied by a glass of water.

"Bottoms up!" I chugged it down and smiled. Everything is going to be okay.

.* * *

"Why don't you want to eat dinner?" My mom asked for the third time.

"Because I'm not hungry...? Did you not understand that the past few times I've said

it?"

"What's with your sass recently? I didn't ask for that!" She continued to egg on.