When all else fails

Chapter 27

Nova POV
After I was released from the hospital I was depressed. I wouldn't eat I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. Just knowing that I couldn't keep my baby hurt me. I felt like it was all my fault. Carter tried to be there for me the first couple of days, but I could tell it was wearing on him. I called in to work and told them that I couldn't make it in for a week due to medical complications. I was home by myself of course and I'd mustered up enough energy to take a shower, do my hair, and get dressed. I promised myself that I was going to be strong and look at myself in the mirror. After I got out the shower I simply threw on an oversized rangers jersey and some spandex shorts I brushed my hair into a neat ballerina bun. I took care of my hygiene then added gloss and mascara to my face. I put on socks and made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water and quickly drunk it then I made myself some chicken alfredo. While I was making it the doorbell rung. I quickly grabbed the gun out of the drawer because I'm not stupid. I know Carter is still in this drug business. I asked who it was and to my surprise it was Jacquees I answered the door with attitude before speaking.
"What do you want que?" I said stepping aside so he could come in.
"I heard you weren't feeling well although you look good asf to me, but anyway I brought you this." he pulled a box of chocolates a huge card and a teddy bear with a heart that said get well soon.
"Thank you this is so sweet." I said taking the things out of his hand and closing the door behind him. I took the things to the kitchen and sat them on the counter. " I was just about eat something are you hungry?" I asked fixing our plates I already knew the answer this fool is always hungry with his greedy ass.
"Yeah what is it?"
"Don't worry about it you know you gone eat whatever it is." I said walking to the table and sitting the plates down. I grabbed my water and grabbed him a sprite. He came over and smiled before licking his lips. Oooh he's just so fine. We sat down and ate and talked for what seemed like forever. I threw the plates away because I don't like washing dishes and sat on the couch he followed behind me and sat next to me. He was staring at me for what seemed like forever causing me to look down blushing.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong because you look fine to me." He said lifting my chin with his index finger. I looked in his eyes who were searching mine and I instantly started to cry. He pulled me into a hug and I just cried on his chest.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to ma." He said kissing my forehead.
"No I'm gonna tell you. I uhhh I had a miscarriage and it was all my fault. I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
"Come with me ma." I got up and he led me to the guest bathroom and put me directly infront of the mirror. I tried to turn around but he wouldn't let me.
"This was not your fault there is no way you could've prevented it. Things happen for a reason so I know god has an alternative plan behind this. You need to talk to god. You and your man. How is he taking this by the way??" I instantly tensed up I didn't want to discuss this with him even though I felt comfortable with him and I haven't told anybody else this. I leaned back into his chest and began speaking.
"I wouldn't know I know it's taking a toll on him because he won't even look at me. He doesn't come home and he sleeps in the guest room when he does." I said sighing " I just thought we were in love I thought this wouldn't affect our relationship I thought that we would be forever. I hope we can fix this but the silence only makes me feel worse. He's been there for me since day 1 I got married young and he helped me through my divorce he helped me realize it wasn't my fault my ex cheated. He protected me and now it feels like he doesn't care anymore that I disappoint him." I said with tears falling even harder Jacquees wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. We chilled for 30 minutes before he left I started feeling like myself again I even convinced myself to go back to work. I was just getting out the shower and picking out my outfit when Carter burst into my room. With rage in his eyes.
"Who the hell you have in my house?"
"Why are you yelling? And I didn't have anyone here but my coworker." I said looking at him with pleading eyes begging for him to calm down. Then he hit me. He actually hit me. I couldn't believe it I didn't cry because I wasn't going to give him that power I knew I needed to leave. I told him I was sorry and tried to get back on his good side. He eventually fell asleep with me laying on his chest. I was Disgusted how could he do that and then he came home smelling like another females perfume and you're mad I had somebody here. I slipped out of the bed and grabbed a suitcase I already had packed because I'd been contemplating leaving him. I ran down stair being as quiet as possible I got in my car and drove. I had no one to call. I couldn't stay in a hotel because I don't carry cash and I'd have to use my credit card. So he could find me. I called the only person I knew would help.
Jacquees...