Ava POV
Have you ever wondered if there was a Heaven or a Hell? Is there something waiting for you, when you die? Or do you just get buried 6 feet in the ground, and that's it- that's the end of you? Does it make you as sad as it makes the people that lost you? Are spirits even real? Is there a God or a Satan?
"You know, thoughts can kill a person, if they think too much," Joy gently said, sitting down beside me. When I didn't acknowledge her presence, she spoke again. "He loved you, Ava. You made him happy and-"
"Don't." That's the first word I had spoken in a week. I refused to to talk to anyone. His parents, sister, friends, other family members, and band tried speaking to me. They would have better luck getting a response from a brick wall.
It's been exactly a week. 7 whole days of me not sleeping, eating, talking, or even moving, for that matter. Every time I fell asleep, I'd just dream about what happened 7 days ago. Every time I ate, I just ended up throwing it all up, unintentionally. Every time I opened my mouth to say something, I felt like I would burst into tears.
Calum was my whole universe. But he's gone now. He's not here anymore. I have officially lost everything that I had to live for. My life doesn't have a purpose anymore. Nothing is right. Suddenly, up is down and down is up. I don't have direction in life. The only reason I'm still alive right now is because I just keep breathing, but I could literally stop that at any given second. I had to constantly remind myself to do a task so simple that it should just come naturally.
But nothing has been simple, ever since Calum's heart monitor flat lined.
"You look like you've lost a lot of weight, since-" she stopped herself this time. "How long has it been since you ate?" Here's the thing about Joy Hood, she cares about me, as if she was my own mother. I just went back to ignoring her, causing her to sigh, and leave the room. Next, Ashton came in, eating a banana.
"You know his funeral is in an hour, right?" I looked at him, blankly. Obviously I know when his funeral is. "And you remember that you're giving a speech, right?" I wasn't in any mood to prepare a speech, so I figured I'd just wing it. "You should probably go get ready. We're leaving in about 20 minutes." I nodded my head, and he helped me stand from the couch. We had all been staying at the Hood household, and the only time I left that couch was when I needed to use the bathroom.
When I got to the bathroom, I studied myself in the mirror. My red, puffy eyes had bags, and dark circles around them. My lips were chapped to a point where my bottom lip had split open. My hair was a mess from me leaving it unbrushed for a week. My whole face was pale, and sunken in. I looked like I was either really sick, or on drugs.
*
"Thank you to everybody for coming." My voice sounded like I smoked a pack a day. "Calum would have loved to see you all here. I didn't prepare a speech, so..." I had no idea what I was going to say, so I just talked, without thinking. "Calum was important to a lot of people. And he cared about every single person that cared about him. He was easy to love, but hard to let go of. He was always there for anyone that needed help. He gave my life a purpose. When I felt like I've had enough of the world, he showed me things that made me enjoy life. He had a beautiful soul. He was so talented, and he was lucky enough to be in a band. He saved thousands of life's with his music. David, Joy," I looked at Calum's parents, who were crying. "You two did a great job raising a beautiful son. And I just want to thank you for letting me be a part of his life. He loved you two so much! You guys were his hero's. And I'm sorry that he had to go so young." I looked back at the people in the crowded church. Calum sure did know a lot of people. There was probably close to 1,000 people here. Not able to get any words out, I thanked them, and got down from the stand.
