Calum POV
I was laying on the floor of my hotel, (because I felt like I wasn't good enough for the bed) drowning in self-pitty. I have been laying in this spot for the last 12 hours, and I wasn't planning on moving. We still have one more week here, and I am going stay in this exact spot, until one of the boys drags me out by my hair.
I feel like an idiot. I know how desperate I am right now, and it makes me feel like an idiot. She is obviously not going to remember anything about me. But I still hung on. It was stupid of me to do that.
What was I even expecting? It's not like she's going to come running to me in the middle of the night and bang on my hotel door and scream my name, and demand to see me, and when I finally open my door, she wont fall into my arms and cry, because she missed me so much, she isn't going to give me one of those short, but meaningful kisses.
I loved when she would kiss me like that. Just a quick peck on the lips, that lasted for a short second. Those were my favorite kisses.
Oh, how I missed her kisses. I missed the way her lips felt against mine, when we shared special moments. Technically, every moment with Ava was special, but that just gave me an excuse to kiss her a lot more.
If I shut my eyes really tight, and think really hard, I can still feel the way her pink lips lingered on mine. I could still feel her warm breath fan over my lips, as she leaned in close to my face. I could even taste it. She always tasted like mint. Whether it was her mint toothpaste, or her mint chapstick, I could taste it.
I started to remember the last kiss we shared. It was short, and really didn't have any special feeling in it.
Now I was sitting here, regretting not kissing her better- not kissing her longer, or more passionately that last time. If I could change anything about this whole situation, I would change our last kiss.
I screwed everything up, and now I'm giving up on this relationship. But that's what I do best. I give up on things, when they get hard. Ava was usually the one to give me support, and tell me what to do. But she's gone, and she's never coming back. I just had to accept the fact that I lost her.
Wiping my wet eyes, with my dry hands, I picked up my phone, hearing it vibrate.
Ashton: How are you holding up mate?
Me: Don't worry about me. I'm fine.
But it was a lie. I'm really not fine at all.
*
A/N:
This chapter was short sorry but the next chapter will be longer.
And... I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THIS WILL BE OKAY ITS GOING TO GET REALLY SAD BUT DONT LOSE HOPE OKAY okay.
