Surrender [H.S]

Chapter Fourteen

Third Person; Emilia.

For the first time in a while, since her human life really, Emilia contemplated the choice of death. She wasn't sure how she could do it, or if it were even possible in her current condition, but she did know for sure that she couldn't handle being riddled with her past anymore.

It killed her mentally that she was showing such a weakness, and that she had even considered the possibility of suicide, however, she was just so tired of feeling those emotions she had cramped up inside for a long time. She hated it; she hated feeling anything at all. She hated to feel anything but hate, anger, things that came from sex, and authority.

Being this way, forced to see her past like a fucking home movie gone wrong, made her feel everything but the emotions she craved to feel; with the exception of hate and anger for obvious reasons.

"Emilia, I'm back," Andrew said as he appeared in front of her, a heart in his hand. She could smell that it belonged to a guard of the Fairy Queen that she wanted, and that it was nearly as powerful as the witch's heart she devoured last time. "I think this should hold you over until I can find another witch unguarded."

"I do not want it," she told him, staring at the ceiling.

The bed dipped beside her, and she knew that he had sat down. "What is wrong, my love?" he asked her, moving her hair out of her face. "It's not much, but I thought you'd prefer this over a lamia."

She closed her eyes. "The last memory I saw centered around Levi Cutler," she admitted. It was strange for her to share something about what happened inside of her mind. "He raped me. Again. And I felt it all over again."

Andrew tensed, she could feel his muscles stilling, and she knew that he was angry as he remembered one of the few times he was unable to protect her as a human. "I should have ripped his head off when he demanded to carry your basket. I regret that every day."

"I know," Emilia whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. She looked so vulnerable and he felt slightly taken back. He hadn't seen her that way in a very long time. "But you wouldn't have been able to kill him without having yourself hung the next day. You know that."

"The next day?" he asked, laughing dryly. "They would've whipped and hung me that same day for killing a white male of such a highly respected family. Your father was looking for a reason to have my head on a spike, and he would've gotten it that day."

"I still cannot understand how he knew the entire time what was going on between us, and what Levi did. He encouraged i-it," she whispered, her lips trembling slightly.

Andrew gently took her hand. He knew that she was only behaving so unlike herself because she had remember something so painful, and she needed the comfort. "It's over now, Emilia. He can't hurt you. Or Maggie."

She gripped his hand tightly. "I told you not to speak of her again," she said, through her teeth.

"I know that. But talking about her could help you to stop feeling the guilt."

She ripped her hand away. "I do not feel guilty. Her death was my father's fault, and that bratty child she was playing with. She wouldn't have used her powers if he'd been watching her instead of fucking the brat's mother while her husband was at work."

"I don't wish to fight with you, Emilia," Andrew began, his dark eyes soft and willing her to listen. "Especially not over a subject that is painful for you, but you and I both know that you blame yourself for her death. And that is why you decided to open your mother's dark magic journal to protect me."

Emilia stared at him. "I am not that foolish girl anymore, Andrew. I do not love anyone. I am incapable of it. My heart is iced over."

"You're only incapable of it as long as you believe it to be true. Everyone can love; their heart just needs to be open."