Breathe Me

This is What Makes us Girls

This is what makes us girls
We all look for heaven and we put our love first
Somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse
Don't cry about it, don't cry about it
This is what makes us girls
We don't stick together 'cause we put our love first
Don't cry about him, don't cry about him
It's all gonna happen

Alison's POV

The second day is no easier than the first.

Thank god for razors.

I walk into school and I'm about to go to my locker when I see Emily and Paige talking. It bothers me more than just seeing Emily. I don't know what's going on with them but I can only hope it's nothing. If I can't have Emily, I don't want Paige to have her.

Then the worst thing imaginable happens.

They lean in and kiss.

I get that dizzy feeling again where I can't breathe. So I rush to the bathroom again before Emily can see me. It hurts deep in my stomach and I lean against the sink, hearing my tears plip-plop into the sink.

Suddenly I hear the door open and I whip around to see Mona.

"Mona." I say nervously, shifting my feet.

"Why the long face, Alison?" She says mockingly. "Are you okay? Did someone call you a loser?"

The lump in my throat grows and I blink fast so the tears don't come again. "Mona... I'm really sorry and ashamed of the way I treated you. I only did it to make myself feel better... and that was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Shut up, bitch."

"What?"

"You don't get to say sorry and have everything be okay!"

"I wasn't trying to-"

"You may have convinced Hanna and the others that you have changed-"

"I don't think I have. They-"

"And maybe you are trying to be a decent person, but that won't last for long." She sneers.

My lip quivers but I stop it before it becomes noticeable. I can't show weakness. "People do change."

Mona still looks pissed. "When someone shows me who they are, I believe them. I don't need to be taught a lesson more than once."

I want to be nice but I know if I am she'll pounce. She'll ruin me. I can't let that happen. So I put my bitch face on and say in an equally cold tone, "You're suddenly the victim of what, Mona? My bullying?" I scoff. "What do you call what you did to those girls? You almost killed Hanna!"

"N-no one feels worse about that than I do." She says, and I can tell she's telling the truth. "B-but I'm all better now, even the doctors say so."

I step forward. "I don't believe you." It's a lie. "If you could prove our lies, you would've done it already." I amp up the bitchiness in my tone. "I'm back, and I'm staying, so get used to it."

"No one wants you here!"

She's right. "You're wrong, Mona. Just like before. Everyone wants to be my friend and that's what you're afraid of." It was all lies and I knew it. Mona was right about everything. Except that she still thinks I'm the same and maybe I am, but I'm trying to change. "You're scared. Because you know that it's not gonna take me long to win over your army of losers! I made you Loser Mona once, and you know I can do it again!" Lies.

Suddenly I feel a stinging pain in my cheek and I realize she slapped me across the face. I deserved it. But I can't show weakness. I can't.

So I rear back my hand and slap her back, even harder. Because of my rings her cheek starts to bleed.

"We don't have to do this." I say, and my voice shakes a little. "Leave me alone!" I turn and run out of the bathroom as tears stream down my cheeks.

Emily's POV

My friends and I are eating when suddenly Mona comes up. She has a thin cut across her cheek and it's bruised around it.

"Mona what happened?" Hanna asks with concern.

"Alison attacked me." Mona says. She sounds like she's trying not to cry.

We all gasp and I feel bad for her. It definitely sounds like Alison.

"When she started saying things like... like she could make me disappear... I turned my phone to video."

She hands us her phone and shows us a video.

It shows Alison saying "You're scared. Because you know that it's not gonna take me long to win over your army of losers! I made you Loser Mona once, and you know I can do it again!" Then she reaches out and slaps Mona really hard across the cheek.

We gasp again and I'm seething with rage. Just more proof that Alison hasn't changed. I hate her so much.

"We'll take care of her." Hanna says.

We get up and check the bathroom first and she's in there. We cross our arms.

When Alison looks at us she goes pale, like she might throw up. "What?" She asks, fidgeting with her jacket for some reason.

"We know you slapped Mona." Hanna says coldly.

Her face goes even paler if possible. "No-no I didn't."

"How are you gonna try and spin this one Ali? I mean we know you're a great liar so I'm sure this is gonna be a good one.

She tugs down her sleeves and looks up at us with tears in her eyes.

What an actress.

"Okay I did. But she slapped me first, I swear it!"

I roll my eyes. Is that even true?

"Loser Mona?" Hanna scoffs. "Really? Are we back to that again?"

"I know how it looks." She tries. "But you know what she's capable of, I mean she set me up! Come on guys! Mona has found a lot of ways to trick us into believing things are real when they're not."

That is true...

"I mean, Spence, you landed in Radley because of one of those elaborate setups she pulled."

She has a point. "Maybe she did slap you back. And maybe Mona deserved it. But you just went out of your way to lie to us. Again. You really haven't changed."

With that we left Alison standing there.

I felt oddly accomplished. I finally told her exactly how I felt. She deserved everything she got and honestly I wish I was there to see Mona slap her.

But deep down I know I still love her.

AN: Already I'm updating. You guys are lucky ducks. So yeah basically things. Bad things are happening. Another song by Lana Del Rey! You'll see a lot by her! Hope you liked it!

- G. Schreiber

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