As Easy As Murder

Heart Sinks And Ball Drops

I dab on silver glittery eyeshadow, the sparkles on my cocktail dress sending shard of light on the wall. Loretta is next to me in the same dress but in black. The rest of the gang are gathered in the living room,  looking like a pack of very sparkly lions with their puffy hair. 

Mine has an equal amount of volume, sticking up like Albert Eintstein. 

"Does this look good?" Loretta turns to me, appearing like a human disco ball. 

"You could be used as a lantern." I nod. 

We head out to greet the others and end up in Jesse's jeep again. Flashbacks of my horrendous date last month pour in and I shudder. New yeas day is upon us, and I'm bewildered. I can't believe that this year is already over, and how much my life has changed from standing in a gloomy mall store to branching out and truly starting my life. 

We pull up to the NYC ball drop, and the butterflies in my stomach flap around as Loretta squeals fill my ears. "We're in times square, peopleeeee!" 

Everyone in the car cheers and I smile. There's no one I'd rather go to times square to the first time with. It couldn't be more magical. People are packed together, building meters above their head surrounding them. 

Flurries fall from the sky gently and land on wet concrete, dissolving like they never fell at all, never existed. Cheers and festivity rings through the air like a bell and the season of love hasn't ended just yet. People look at who their new years kiss will be, some for the first time, and some who have been each other's new year kisses time and time again, who's fingers are wrinkled, yet they still hold each other's hands like they're still young and smooth. 

We exit the jeep, Loretta wrapped her arm around me and smiling at me with pure joy and excitement, and I couldn't be feeling the same way more. We make our way over to the crowd, immediately engulfed by the ball drops attendess, cameras panning around us and capturing the memories for all to see on television. 

The stars shine above us all and illuminate the cityscape, screens curve around building, scarily realistic GD graphics shooting out of them, to everyones amazement. Kids squeal and giggle as the camera is played on the big screen, the reporter in a red coat, smiling wide. 

"This is unreal," Jesse smiles wide. "I always watched the spectacular when I was a little boy, and dreamed of going, but I never thought I would. But I'm here. With my boyfriend." He smiles at his loverboy, and my heart melts, though Loretta gives them that same disgusted face like a first grader seeing people French kiss in a movie for the first time. 

I take a deep breath, taking in all the sights, my heart lighting up with love and warmth. 

Anthony and Felicity, who are always hanging around each other because she manipulated him into hiring him as his 'life coach' for a quick buck because he's an easy target, approach us, and I can't even hide my facial expressions. I want to say so many things I shouldn't, and thankfully, I have Loretta here to say them for me. 

"Did you intend for your hair to look like a horse main? Actually, I think you're more like a jockie, you're tiny and-" I stop her. 

"Loretta, remember, breathe, we don't need a repeat of the time you had to be escorted out of that Kohls." I remind her. 

She nods and shoots Felicity a final stink eye before returning to the rest of the group. Anthony follows her, "Sooo, you're gonna be my news years kiss, right? Lucky for you, whippersnapper, I got the softest lips in New york. I put on EOS once a week. What other fella do you know who takes care of him self like that?" He nudges her and wiggles his eyebrows in a terrifying manner. She raises her shoulders up to her chin to give herself a double chin in order to scare him off, but he just returns the favour with a double chin in return, which seems to scare her. 

Loretta may have finally met her match. 

Jesse and his loverboy seem to have forgone the countdown and already started consuming each other's faces. I roll my eyes, "Get a room." 

"The whole world is our room." Jesse says, pressing light kisses all over what's-his-faces neck. 

Loretta groans, "Well shut the door then." 

Bishop, Janey, and Vera are staring at the times square screens like a baby seeing their reflection for the first time. I turn my head over to the music artist performing on the stage. Loretta does to, and the rest follow once they tear their eyes away from the brightly colored graphics. 

The music lights up the city more than the flashing lights. Families unite in memories as they watch the performer dance across the stage, and the world just feels like a better place for a split second. Somewhere worth being. Somewhere to enjoy being.

Of course, Loretta can't let me have a sweet moment. 

"Dude. I think I took my stool softener twice today." 

I glare at her. "Thanks for sharing. I'll really use that information to go places In life. I'm truly enlightened. Thank you." 

She bows, and I scoff. 

We turn our attention back to the newscast, where the reporter is gushing about how excited she is to be broadcasting such a worldwide and famously enjoyed event, and how she'd only dreamed of standing up there with a microphone, sharing her excitment with viewers. 

I smile, tucking my cold hands into my pockets. Excitement radiates through the air as we near the countdown, the moment everyone has been waiting for, the end of the 12 months, the silly calander someone came up with that we still rely on today for our kid's dance recitals and that appointment you've rescheduled 9 times. 

I sigh, content. 

Anthony has settled himself near a bass player and a saxist. Loretta has been stolen away from me and has her arm linked in his against her will as he jigs her in a circle, dosy doing and twirling her, all while she had the enthusiasm of someone in rigor mortis. 

Bishop is jumping up and down with childish wonder, her pigtails bouncing, her sparkly dress moving with her. "This is awesome!" She's holding a drink, the liquid splashing out as she jumps. 

"You're spilling all your whiskey," I chuckle, clinking her glass with my own. 

We all gather, holding our glasses. Anthony's contains Motts apple juice but we still decide to include him in the toast, afterall, he can be annoying, and he can give you the slight urge to jump out of a moving vehicle, we don't wish him poor health or a bad year. 

We clink our glasses, "TO THE NEW YEAR!" We all yell in sync. 

"Let's all say our new years resolutions!" Vera squeals. She's opted for an explosion of color as usual, her dress a sparkly rainbow ombre, her gelled up into spikes. She almost looks too cool to be hanging out with the rest of us, who opted for more simple and toned down looks. Besides Anthony. He went full rat pack with a tuxedo and his signature fedora, looking like he's about to start singing that he did it his way. 

"I want to start eating healthier." Loretta says. "Ooh ooh ooh, and I want to somehow kiss Micheal Jackson." 

We all blink at her, and decide it's better to move on than question it. 

"I also want to get in shape, and I want to hopefully find love and be the best version of myself." Bishop sighs, taking a sip from her glass. "Lord knows it's been a long time coming." 

We all hug her, than turn to Jesse. 

"Well, I hope to take our relationship to the next level," He turns to his loverboy, who nods in agreement. "And also to drop out to persue my real passion. Sorry to leave you to the wolves, guys." He chuckles. 

We all gasp and point. 

"What?" He says, then turns around to take in the sight of what we all see. 

His loverboy on one knee. A velvet box is cusped in his hands, a smile wider than I've ever seen on his tearstaines face. Jesse's hands clasp against his mouth, shocked, taken off guard. They've only been together for 3 months, not to mention the fact that Jesse is 20. We all exchange nervous glances, almost certain it's going to be a cold hard letdown for the bold blond. 

"YES!" Jesse jumps into his arms, shreiking in excitement. Snow lightly falls around him, and it's like a scene from a movie. We all jump and squeal in secondhand excitement, the night air disturbed with the joy of young love. Jesse deserves this. Jesse deserves this more than anyone. 

We all hug him, and he shows us the ring, a huge diamond. 

Felicity is glaring in disgust. 

"Do you have a problem?" I hiss at her. 

"Two men getting engaged...it's so...unnatural." 

"Someone in this generation discriminating..it's so...unnatural." I hiss again. 

She rolls her eyes and backs off, and I have to stop myself from murdering someone. 

Loretta suddenly runs up to me, "IT HAPPENED AGAIN." 

"What happened again?" 

She's panicking. "ANTHONY....HE TOLD ME I'M HIS CUTE LITTLE MUCINEX MASCOT." 

I burst out laughing and take her in my arms, rubbing her back to soothe her from this utter horror and despair. She looks like she's seen a ghost, but she's truly just seen what odd comments people make when you don't dress like everyone else. I've gotten a few interesting ones too. 

While Jesse and his loverboy bask in newly engaged bliss, dancing around like the government doesn't exist and wars were nothing more than blowing raspberries, I sigh. Observing all the happy couples, I can't help but feel like I'm singled out, literally. The only one without an other half. 

Besides Bishop. 

But that's besides the point.

The balldrop nears closer, the reporters exhilarated, more filled with delight. I already face timed Dad. I point the camera around, trying to capture the magic of the scenery through a screen, but I know it's impossible to convey the moment. He's seeing it on TV, and I'm here, amongst the screaming and wasted young and old people surrounding me, living in the moment, everything that sucked in my life seeming like a blip on my radar. 

As Anthony continues to try and fail to convince Loretta that they could work out because he went to some sketchy palm reader who told them they were destined and written in the cards, soulmates, the minutes fly by, getting closer to the one I've been awaiting.

Soon after this day, I can just feel that my moment will come. This will be the year of Averen. 


11:39
11:40
11:41

11:50

The friendgroup huddles together. We all exchange looks of happiness and glee. Jesse's loverboy has his arms around him, their love as visible as the glistening  tips of skyscrapers, the city feeling more like home by the day. 

The moment is bliss.

Then someone tapped my shoulder. 

I swivel around, and there's Kori. He has his hands tucked tightly into his trench coat. He fits the part of detective, even though he hasn't quite acheived the degree yet. His cheeks are rosey from the cold night. He's smiling, and not an evil grin like usual, a soft smile, showing his dimples and crinkling his scar, a rare sight. Music plays in the background, a soundtrack to our Hallmark movie. 

"Hello." I say flatly, unsure of what else to say. 

He tilts his head. "Hi. It took me forever to find you. Anyway, about the case,  I'm almost certain the friend did it, you see-" The loudness from the crowd drowns out the rest of what he said. 

I lean In close to hear him better, unable to decipher a word he said because how thick his accent is mixed with the shreiking crowd. "WHAT?" 

"I said-" Once again, his voice fades in amongst others and I can't pick up anything. I lean closer again. 

"HUH?"

"Oh pour l'amour de Dieu, j'ai dit que c'etait definitivement l'amie qui l'avait fait parce qu'elle avait des motivations claires. Oh, et je veux t'embrasser." 

"I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH." I lean in even closer, we're almost touching noses. 

11:59

The countdown begins. Jesse and his loverboy are already exchaching lips, so infatuated with each other that they can't even wait 60 more seconds until the big moment, Jesse's ring glimmering the moonlight. 

Bishop is pretending to make out with her glass as a joke, and honestly, more power to her. No love triangles, no situation ships, no complicated relationships. Just freedom. In my opinion, that in itself is something worth celebrating. 

Vicky has found a random stranger to do the midnight tradition with, who looks less than enthused, and I imagine that's what Travis will feel when he finds out about these endeavors. But hey, to quote beonce, if he liked it he should have put a ring on it. 

Vera and her mystery man are pressed up against a piller, looking into each other's eyes with passion. I can't help but stare in jealousy at all of my friends as happy couples, or happy singles, such joy in all of their eyes, they all sparkle so bright, and I'm just dimn and out of order. One day I'll find that special electricion, my very own handyman. 

Well, almost all of my friends are happy. 

Loretta is being accosted by Anthony's dreadful lips and I assume breath. He inches closer and I can hear the music from Jaws in my head as he approaches, Loretta being the attack victim. She tries to dance around him and avoid contact but he's determined. The guy has will. But in this case, I'm not so sure there's a way. 

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2.1.

I remember Kori's existence. His eyes are lit up with thrill. 

"I SAID I'M GONNA KISS YOU." 

And just as the ball dropped, the crowd cheering, and the night sky lit up with various colored fireworks and the feeling of love, he did. It was a long, passionate kiss, our tongues navigating each other like it was what they were made for, and I didn't process it enough to stop it, I was a kid in a candy store. A kid in a Kori. 

Loretta too received a kiss, and it led to her gagging and scraping her tongue with her shirt, making that snoopy gag sound from the peanuts and stomping her feet in disgust and anguish. 

I'm too busy to think of her though. 

It felt like the crowd was cheering for us as he pulled away, looking into my eyes. 

"What...why did you do that?" I shake my head in disbeleif. 

"Because I wanted to. Je t'aime, Averen." 

Now that french I know. 

"Moi Aussi j'aime." 

He chuckles. "Not quite. You're not exactly a french master, so maybe stick to french kissing, yeah?" 

I smirk. "Now that's my native tongue." 

The fireworks in the sky did not even begin to compare to the ones in my heart. 

Love may just be real. 

Yet, I can't help but see all the bumps in the road. 

The love sundae in my mind curdles. 

Self-sabotage, my old nemises. 

Oh well, at least there's fireworks.