As Easy As Murder

27. detesting and resting

Bullets of sweat trickle down Jesse's forehead, his pink hair formed into damp spikes, his crop top rolled up to reveal his happy trail, hand thrown up over his head like a damsel in distress. 

Loretta scoffs and rolls her eyes, gesturing to the worn out man, "He's only lifted one box. And it was linens."

I snort, holding a particulaly heavy box, "How bad my arms hurt proves that." 

We're helping Jess move out of his condominium and into his loverboy's apartment. We asked if he was sure more times then a mother who's kid is on a plane, but he was set on joining his Blondie in the journey of life. 

Jesse's little brother Joshua is curled up in 4 blankets on the couch, eyes glued to his Nintendo DS, action sounds coming from the classic blue and red devices speakers. He's entranced, his fingers going a mile a minute, infatuated with winning and losing. 

Loretta has retired from her job as a mover and has laid down next to him, arms behind her head, relaxing like she's at a resort, abandoning me to do all of the work myself. 

I pick up another box full of an absurd amount of hair supplies. This is odd, considering jesse possess about 2 inches of hair. "What the hell do you need all this for?" 

His eyes light up. "Those are his." 

"You're telling me this is just what he leaves here?" My jaw drops, and loretta's follows, both of them hitting the ground. 

Joshua looks up from his video game, speaking up, "Yeah. He's dating prince charming. The guy uses a jar of gel a day." 

Loretta shakes her head in dissaproval like that's the biggest dealbreaker known to man. I roll my eyes and continue lugging boxes, different lables pasted onto each with scotch tape. I get to one marked, 'journals' and get a little angel and devil on my shoulders.

The angel can't even open it's mouth before the devils win and I open it, Jesse immediatly rushing over. For someone who was 'competely tired out', he sure ran fast. 

"Don't read those!" He hissed, trying to drag the box away, but I pick up a purple spiral notebook, grinch smile visible on my face. I toss my hair back over my shoulder, adjust my necklaces, and clear my throat. 

"Dear Journal, december 9th 2017," I real aloud, Loretta bursting out into hyena laughter, Joshua's interest peaked, eager to learn more about the most embarrassing years of his older brother's life. 

Jesse groans, digging his nails into his pink scalp, "Noooo, that was when I was running on hair chalk and a dream." 

I continue, develish smirk on my face, "Today I told my crush I like him. You can guess how it went. He told me he's not a...I don't even want to repeat the word. Anyway, he did say he likes my pink hair, settles his stomach. I assume he was comparing me to a Pepto bismol tablet. Oops, left my sims game running too long and they're dropping like flies. By journal, more later, 

-Your favorite Jesse" 

Loretta is rolling around on the floor laughing like a psychopath and Joshua just looks blindsided. Jesse is curled up in the fetal position and is rocking back and forth, looking like he's having a manic episode. 

Things are still strewn into the room that need to be packed into boxes, but no one seems eager to move, myself included. I join Loretta on the bed, and she checks her phone calander, "Hey, isn't that celebrity event today? That huge red carpet one with the elaborate outfits?" 

I nod, fidgeting with the chains on my skirt, "Huh. Yeah, I think it is." 

I didn't come home for Christmas. I don't know why I didn't, but the guilt is eating me from the inside out. Mom and Dad have assured me 4,000 times that they don't mind and understand that I'm in a transitional period and want to enjoy my youth and see the world, but It's still been eating away at my heart. 

Loretta had no home to go to for Christmas, as her family took a family vacation to the Bahamas, and she was politely asked not to join. So we had a girls christmas. But it didn't help the guilt consuming my heart. 

I don't know why I did it. Why I didn't pack up and get in the car and go home. Maybe I didn't want to face mom's deterioration. Maybe I didn't want to dissapoint them with my suffering grades. 

The case. 

I get a text from satan's secretary, Kori, right on time to save me from my thought spiral. Yes, I know we had that emotional breakthrough when I saw my ex the other day, but I can't help but cling on to the grudge I've been holding since day one. I know he's pissed at me for not putting any energy into the case at all. It's true, I've placed it on the backburner, but I don't want to be scolded on it by someone who's closet consists of only neutrals. 

'Averen, please get your head out of your ass and get back on track. You're giving me maux de tete with this avoidance crap. Most teams have already finished their cases, and the semester is reaching it's end. Can we PLEASE work on it tommorow? And you better answer this text. I know you saw it.' 

I scoff at the nature of the text and reply, 'Not with that attitude, young man.' 

But I do feel guilty for piling the work onto him and not doing my share. 

God, I'm a bad person. 

My thoughts are interrupted by Loretta. "WHAT THE SCALLOP?" 

One thing with Loretta is that when she's actually shocked, she doesn't swear. Her most common alternatives consist of: Wowie, Fiddle Faddle, Chopsticks, Sugar Honey Ice Tea, Bleep, and Galloping Gooseberries, my personal favorite. 

"What?" I lean over her shoulder to look at the TV, where a woman in a very modern dress design is front and center, her gown defying the laws of gravity with it's odd shape and construction. I scrunch up my face in confusion. 

"The theme was floral..." 

We both stare at the fashion abomination for a few minutes until the camera pans over to a different celebrity, her long flowy white dress with actual white roses on it trailing behind her as she walks down the red carpet, arms linked with a tall man. 

We both gasp in awe, gushing over the dress. "BURY ME IN THAT!" Loretta shreiks. "AND I'LL TAKE THE MAN, TOO." 

While Jesse packed up his belongings to take his residence into the house of some action figure who uses hair gel like it's a form of therapy, I listen to Loretta interesting comments on the fashion statements before us while Joshua just stares in digust, confused on why a bunch of frilly fashion is holding our attention like this when we could be rolling in the thrill of killing creepers in minecraft. 

"She looks like some sort of mold. Or like some sort of possessed sea urchin.." 

I roll my eyes at Loretta's statement, though the dress is not my favorite. 

50 minutes later, Loretta has fallen asleep with her head in my lap. Her love language is physical touch and always has been, and I guess that goes for platonic love too, because no matter the situation, one or more of her limbs always ends up on my person. 

Joshua gets up from his blanket abode and approaches Jesse, dragging a pale blue one behind him and resembling Linus, his curly hair messed up into a big frizz, looking up at his big brother with big brown puppy dog eyes, "Jess?" 

Jesse isn't having it, clearly having fallen for it one too many times. "What, Josh?" 

"Can my friend Annie-Kay come over?" He pouts his bottom lip. 

Jesse groans. "Now? While we're moving our stuff?" 

He nods. 

Jesse sighs. "One hour. That's it." 

So 10 minutes later, a second miniature menace entered the messy condo, a blonde-haired little girl with big green eyes and whole lot of energy. She made a beeline for Joshua, plowing right into him, knocking him straight to the ground, back to floor. 

I stare at her, a sense of familiarity rising in me, and I suddenly determine who she resembles. 

Felicity walks in, her long honey hair running down her back like a river, lips glossy as ever, hot pink sparkly shirt and low rise jeans I'd never have the confidence to wear complimenting her tiny little 110 pound body. 

Loretta grits her teeth and gets ready to put her in a sleeper hold, but I hold her back and decide to handle this like an adult, meaning not at all. 

"Hey Lici." I say with a fake cheerfulness, deciding on the 'pretend we're friends' technique, one I swear by for stomping down conflict, but it's cearly not going to work in this situation. 

She looks me up and down. "What's with the getup? We're two holidays past Halloween." 

Jesse is now aware of the catty little pageant queen standing in the middle of us. 

Joshua and Annie-kay have settled into a pile of clothes, making believe that it's a tent, but I can't help but notice how bossy she's being. It's no mystery who she got it from. Felicity sits down on the bed, glaring at all of us with such content like we can't possibly be good enough to be in a room with her and her angelic little sister. 

"Hey mister pink hair!" Annie-kay jumps up, throwing stuff at Jesse. "Does this condo place have a pool?" He dodges the 11 year old's attack methods and shakes his head, "Uh, no." Felicity groans and I want to take her and her perfect body and throw her out of the 3rd story window. Loretta is pacing and trying to keep herself from doing something that will land her in prison. 

I look down at my feet, not wanting to get involved, but knowing I already am. 

"Sooo...uh....how's your stepmom? Professor Simons?" I try to make smalltalk, but it quickly turns into largetalk. 

"None of your business. God, you never stop talking. And how come Kori is always hanging around you with those goo goo eyes? You're not even worth one goo goo eye, much less both." She flips her hair, sending a fresh strawberry sent through the air, and I want to slip some strawberry scented sleeping pills into the starbucks cup in her left hand, a mocha cappuccino. I want to mocha decapatate her. 

Annie-Kay ends up getting fed up with Joshua not paying attention to her and runs out of the condo without saying goodbye, Felicity following and not even reprimanding the behavior, but more can you expect from her. 

".....can I pull out a knife and chase her and we just won't talk about it?" Loretta whispers. 

We burst out laughing, and Joshua is just standing there looking angrily. 

"I don't know why I ever asked Annie-kay to be my boyfriend. How are women so beautiful and such meanies..." He whines, pulling his blanket over his head. I pat his back, and Loretta laughs. 

I rub his back, smirking, "I'm sure there's other 2-day long relationships in your near future, Joshy." 

"I don't go by Joshy anymore! And it's not two days! My last relationship lasted a full month! Longest one in the class!" He crosses his arms, pouting his bottom lip out again, cuteness overloading all of us. 

Jesse sighs, "It only gets worse, dude. One day, you'll have to spend your money on a girl." 

He sticks his tongue out. "No way!" 

We all laugh, and I recall me when I was 11. 

Ah, the good old days. 

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Once the majority of Jesse's boxes were packed and loaded, me and Loretta packed up and headed back to the dorm. 

Standing Infront of the vending machines in the lobby, my thoughts are scattered. I zone out, typing in the wrong number twice and buying two snacks I don't even like. I feel like a zombie suddenly, and a text from mom comes through on my phone. 

'Gerold had a vet appt today, all good news! Miss you my little busy bee! Mommy loves you.' 

My stomach sinks feet below me. As I sit down on the blue couch within the sight of Cheryls desks with my weird vegan snacks I don't even want, the familiar cheery voice comes from behind me. "Hey sugar, you look down. What's up with ya?" 

I sigh, "I didn't go home for christmas." 

She takes a seat next to me, sipping on some hot chocolate, her light brown hair thrown up into it's usual bun, a neon blue blazer covering her pale green top, butterfly pinks littering the look. "Well why not, sugar?" 

I shrug, looking down at my feet. "Not sure." 

She puts an arm around my shoulder. "Honey, it's okay. You're out on your own, everything is new and exciting, the guy selection has multiplied. Your folks will understand if you miss a stocking and a jingle or three, they love you. As long as you're not dead and not doin' drugs, they don't mind. I swear." She smiled, rubbing my back soothingly. 

"Thanks..." I sigh "...spring isn't for a couple of months." I smile, gesturing to her outfit.

"I'm trying to manifest that stupid groundhog seeing his shadow in a couple of weeks. Hey, speaking of January, what are your new years plans? Know who your kiss is going to be, darlin'?" She wiggled her eyebrows. 

I roll my eyes, "Going to party hard, sleep harder after. And, no. Probably no one." 

She gave me a knowing look, "Not that Kori boy?" 

I freeze. The woman sniffed me out. How did she know? How did she manage to scavenge around and dig up southern gossip in the big apple? Is she a psychic? Did she see us? Has she been spying? 

I picture cheryl with binoculars watching me and Kori's every move when we're in the same vicinity of each other, and can't put it past her. The woman know's everyone's buisness better than they do. 

I shake my head, "Uhhhh....no..." 

She raises her eyebrows in a way the tells me she knows I'm giving her bogus and she's not having it. I roll my eyes, "I mean..we're not..I don't even know what we are, but his lips and mine are not friends." 

She chuckles her light and airy chuckle, taking another sip of her hot chocolate, "Well they better introduce themselves because that boy looks at you like a puppy to a bone. A cat to a fish. A fish to a tank. A tank to a sargent. A sargent to a gun. A gun to a bullet. A bullet to a-" 

"I get it," I groan. "But..he hates me." 

"Oh, please." She waves me off. "My husband hates me as much as resteraunt owner to a rat and we've been married 60 years. Hate is the first step of love. Afterall, didn't the tortoise and the heir kiss at the end of the race or somethin'?"

I blink. "No." 

"Really? I could've swore...Well, you get my point." She pats my back. "I gotta go. My brother got 3 flat tires. The idiot drove through a construction sight again." 

I'm left sitting there, eating my disgusting vegan cookies, with too many thoughts to think. 

If me and Kori were the tortoise and the heir, I'd go into my shell and roll down the hill. 

Orrrr...

I'd hop on his back and we'd run away into the sunset. 

Hey, if Cheryl said it, it's true. 

Wait..did she say her brother got three flat tires from driving through a construction sight AGAIN?