As Easy As Murder

15. the real horror

Walking through the mall I used to work at with Loretta, it feels weird. Like I don't belong here anymore. Our shoes squeak against the tile, dodging monster shopping bags and eerily tall people. 

We had the genius idea of procrastinating costume shopping until the morning of. So here we are, speed-walking past stores, not even on the same page of what we're going as. It's hard to believe it's the last day of October again. It's been a year since I had to attend a party dress as the classic Disney mouse, with more eye appeal. I don't think this was Walts intention. 

We continue to pass store, and I feel like a lost puppy following Loretta around. 

"So what are we again?" This is the third time I asked, I still don't get it. 

"I already told you," She rolled her eyes. "You're a sexy circus conducter person and I'm a killer clown or something." 

"I thought we were going to be sexy Lumiere and Clocksworth?" 

"No, I scrapped that idea. No way we could construct your candles in a couple of hours." 

I nod and we continue walking, eventually coming up on the fateful Hot Topic that I spent almost all of my late teens behind the counter of. 

"There she is." Loretta points. I look away from the store, covering my eyes, and putting a hand out in a stop motion. "Don't even wanna look at it." 

"Gotcha." She mumbled and we continued down the assembly line of stores, passing lots of different aesthetics and styles. The same old kiosks I used to pass every day are still up, now decorated with little pumpkins and witch hats. The lotion guy has now decked himself out in an elaborate Jack Sparrow costume. He looks kinda sick. 

We make it to the Halloween store, greeted by an unessecarily large werewold anamatronic howling out a low-battery 'Welcome'. I jump, and Loretta laughs, so I yank on a curl. We enter the store, and immediately Loretta is off to the masks, putting on all of the weirdest options. The store is quite large, selections of decorations guarding the walls, little kids stomping on the activation buttons of the animatronics, employees looking like they're going to rip their ears out from hearing the same clown laughter 998 times. 

I bend down to look at some face paint, since I need to look half-dead for my costume, and when I look up, staring me back is no longer Loretta, but some creepy hotdog mask with disturbing eye holes. I pull it off of her like a Scooby Doo villain and throw it at her. 

She laughs. I make the mistake of turning my back again, and this time I'm greeted by Donald Trump. 

"Loretta, for the love of God, we don't have time for your Trump impression. We have got to hurry up." I hiss, dragging her away from the wall of masks, making her let go of a very realistic silicone elderly person one. I drag her over to the costumes, and we are met with a whole lot of cleavage. Usually, we make our own costumes, put together by articles of clothing and whatever we could get with same-day shipping on amazon. 

But this year, we put it off too long, so scratchy fabric in vacuum sealed bags it is. I glance over the selection, "So what are the plans tonight again?" 

"We pick up the rest of the group in Jesse's van, party hop for a while, then crash at his place." She picks up a clown costume, which comes complete with a packet of fake blood. It's striped, the leg-cuffs puffing around  the thighs in true clown fashion, three red buttons going down the torso, and ripped tights. 

I am now tasked with picking my own wear, and unlike Loretta, I have comfort on my mind. I pick up a red costume, yellow trim around the arm cuffs and skirt, complete with a black hat, and two fake tickets to hold as props. 

I turn around to get Loretta's approval, and see her wearing 4 different clown wigs at one time, stacked like ice-cream scoops. I roll my eyes. I didn't know what I was getting myself into showing her where the bathroom was in pre-school. She latched on like a week, and has been sucking out my sanity every since, her life mission to drive me insane. 

We go to check out, a purple-haired employee loudly smacking her gum, scanning our costumes. 

"Whayouliketodonatetotheblahblahbuh?" The cashier mumbles looking down at her feet. 

"The what?" 

"Thebluhblahblahfoundation.." 

She repeated it 4 more times, and eventually I just said sure. For all I know, I just donated to a serial killers bail. I try to leave the store, but Loretta lags behind, standing infront of a spider animatronic, one of those ones that jumps at you, making you have to leap backward. 

"Don't do-" 

She stomped on the activation pad, and didn't move out of the way, so the thing hit her, making her fall on her butt with a loud thud. Then she started punching it, apparently forgetting that this is a Spirit Halloween, not a boxing ring. And that it's a fake spider. 

Needless to say, we were politely asked to leave. At least I think that's what the casheir said, I still couldn't understand her. 

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I stood Infront of the mirror in the dorm, 'This is Halloween' blasting from Loretta's phone speakers. She's brushing out her curls to purposefully frizz them out, and it's working. I'm straightening mine, then clipping on some fake bangs. 

Loretta rips open a packet of face paint. 

"Maybe we should do each others." I suggest. 

"Nah, I got it." 

Believe me, she doesn't got it. 

Sure enough, she turns around after taking a flimsy tube of strongly-scented paint to her face, and looks like pennywise if he was being sued for child support and had questionable texts on his phone. I blink, thinking I might be hallucinating. 

"Does it look okay?" She studies her reflection, squinting her eyes in inspection. 

"Uh....yeah, perfect." I chuckle, perfecting my own dark make-up. I enunciate my already noticebale dark circles, then put some black lipstick over my lips, adding some extra lines to make my mouth look wider and uncanny. I wing my eyeliner, then put on some fake lashes. All in all, I think I did a pretty good job, and it's much easier then last years challenge. 

You should've seen Loretta's plastic beak. She looked like some extinct species of bird that humans were glad to see go. 

We hear a honk from outside, signaling Jesse's arrival. I look in the full body mirror, pulling down my dress, being extra critical of myself. Loretta interrupts my self pity party, "Do I have a booger?" 

I poke her in the ribs and pass her, she scoffs. "Hey, you're always asking me if you look bloated." 

"Different." I hiss. 

I slide into the passenger of Jesse's van, and turn to see him in a puppet costume, complete with strings hanging off of his jacket, make-up looking absolutely perfect. His hot pink hair only compliments the burgundy costume. 

"Hey Av. You look amazing. Circus conductor?" 

I nod, and we fist bump. Loretta glares at him for the lack of aknowledgement. 

He takes In Loretta's been-through-a-dishwasher clown appearance. "You're supposed to dress up as something you aren't, Etti." 

She smacks him and he laughs. The rest of the group has eventually joined us over a series of stops. 

Vera- Morticia Adams 
Vicky-Vanellope Von Scweetz 
Janey-Lola Bunny 
Bishop: Betty Boop

At the end of the day, I'd say we look decent. Besides Loretta, she looks like she's having a quarter-life crisis. We get to the first party, greeted by the usual noise. Grating screams, slurred words, the usual. But something is different. 

The group is surrounding me, everyone important to me. My dearest friends. But I feel like we're missing someone. The feeling confuses me. 

Everyone is having fun, and so am I. Loretta is given deserved hell for her costume, we all dance, we all let ourselves go. Well, they did. I was still holding on. To something, to someone. Jesse is hitting on a blonde guy, who looks familiar, and I realize he was in one of Jesse's Instagram posts the other day. I smell love. 

My heart seems to melt as I see him cup Jesse's place, looking down at him with such adoration in his eyes. Jesse deserves this. Loretta sqeauls and jumps up and down from behind me. We're only feet away. "Shh," I cover her mouth with my hand, not wanting her to ruin the moment, even though I couldn't be more excited. 

They leave to go outside for a moment, and Jesse returned with some of the guys facepaint smeared across his cheek and a dopey smile. All 5 of us swarmed him with excitement, cheering for him, and teasing him for being so enamoured. I can't help but wish it was me in his place. 

Once upon a time, it was. But we all know how that turned out. Not well. 

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By the 3rd and final party of the night, my hair is frizzy, my eyelids are heavy, and I want to go home and collapse. But everyone still has some life in them, and while the dancing has become less dancing and more swaying, the mood is still positive.

My eyes wonder over the room. I'm essentially sober, so I'm looking for something to entertain me while I wait for the rest of the group to tucker themselves out and be ready to head home. 

While wandering, my eyes settle on the warm brown ones I've come to see often. And there's no sweater vest. He's in a black button down, eyes surrounded by a ring of eyeliner, face deadpan like usual, surely not having picked this outfit himself. 

Sure enough, Liam is standing next to him with a prideful expression, take all the credit for Kori's compliments, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. 

I approach, a snarky remark in mind, but when I get there, I go blank. 

He looks down at me, not waiting long enough for me to gather my thoughts. "What are you supposed to be?" 

"Circus conducter.." I mumble, sounding spacey, and it's embarrassing. "You surprised?" 

He scoffs, "Shocked. Thought you'd be a nun." 

I shove him and he just raises his eyebrows, taking the hit. 

"What are you?" I raise a brow of my own. 

"Some guy, I dunno, ask Liam." 

I turn to Liam, who aknowledges me with a knowing smirk. His black hair is teased up into a puffy mess, new tattoo in the middle of his neck, and I can't deny how cute he is. But there's no real spark, no butterfly feeling. Like..the one I just got when Kori teased me...OH GOD NO. 
 
Before I can spiral, Liam speaks, "He's Billy Joe Armstrong." 

"Oh," I snort. 

Kori rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. I can tell he was dragged here by Liam, and it's amusing. He looks at the floor, and then gets fed up with my staring. "Go back to Freaks Anonymous or whatever." He points to my friends. 

I scoff, "At least I know what my costume is, Lucifer." 

I turn around, walking back to the group. Loretta leans on my shoulder dramatically and Bishop groans. 

"What happened to her?" I point a thumb at Loretta and Bishop sighs. 

"Someone said she looks like the Mucinex mascot." 

I laugh. I laugh so hard snot starts coming out of my nose, and I just about need a Mucinex. Loretta stomps on my foot, but I don't stop laughing. Eventually, me and Bishop are laughing so hard that tears are pouring down our faces. 

Vicky walks over, "I'm about ready to go." 

The three of us agree, but Vera points over at Jesse and what's-his-face, who have their faces pressed together, Jesse's leg wrapped around the guys waiste. Woah, someone's okay with PDA. "We'd have to interrupt those lovebirds." 

Loretta scrunches her face up. "Ew. It's so sweet it's sickening." 

I nod, agreeing. We stare at the two as they finally break away from each other. Jesse approaches, looking like he's on cloud 10, nevermind 9. 

"How do you feel?" Bishop smirks. 

"Oxygen is optional when we kiss." He sighs, grabbing his heart and looking over his shoulder at the guy. Loretta fake gags, and I just pat his back, praying that whats-his-face doesn't break his heart. 

Upon leaving the party, I can't stop thinking about Kori. I hate him, I hate him so much. 99% of him I hate, but there's one stubborn 1%, a stray hair that won't stay in it's place, one sardine in a sea of fish, a needle in a haystack, that is latched onto his eyes, like Winnie the Pooh to honey, the part that still takes chances.

Curled up on Jesse's pull-out couch bed, the fake star projector above my head seems so real, and I feel like an idiot. For longing for something that hurt me so badly before. 

I get a text from mom, "Night Av, happy Halloween my little Goblin. Daddio dressed up as Batman and one of the tricker treaters thought he was the real deal! Haha. Love you, mommy is always here if you want to come home one weekend."

I sigh. 

I toss and turn for hours, make-up that I neglected to take off smudged across my face. 

I know what kept me up. 

Yet that morning, I blamed it on Loretta's snores.

911, someone is stealing my heart.