Medical Magic (Drarry)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Another Good Bye

Draco knew if he acknowledged that Harry was leaving in an hour, he'd have to face the fact that he was once again alone. He was amazed at how quickly he and Harry had fallen into a rhythm. It seemed to Draco that Harry had always been here with him in the US.

Instead of facing the facts, Draco was deep cleaning his apartment. Harry was packing his bag in the bedroom, and Draco couldn't face that. It was too hard.

He was using a toothbrush to scrub the stove when Harry came out, bag in hand, and dropped it on the floor. 

"Draco." Harry's voice was soft.

"Yes?" Draco said through clenched teeth.

"We have to talk about this."

"Talk about what?" He glanced up just in time to see Harry gesture around at everything.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Draco sniffed, returning to scrubbing the stove.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry asked, his hands on his hips.

Draco glanced up, his mouth falling open. "What?"

"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry repeated himself.

"No!" The idea made Draco queasy. 

Harry visibly relaxed. "Oh, okay. Good. I wasn't sure because of the cleaning."

Draco straightened and set down the toothbrush. "I'm stress cleaning," he admitted. "It's a rather helpful coping mechanism, if I'm being honest."

Harry just stared at him silently, waiting for Draco to stop rambling.

Draco fell silent, staring at Harry. "I love you." He hated how desperate he sounded, but he needed Harry to know that, at the very least, their time together had meant something to him.

"I love you, too."

"We can't do this forever," Draco whispered.

Harry was still for a moment before he shook his head. "I don't suppose we can, no. I can only take so much time off from work to come see you, and eventually, someone is going to start asking questions."

Draco nodded to himself. He already knew this, of course. He'd been agonizing over what to do ever since Harry arrived on his doorstep. "My entire life is here," he said, desperate for Harry to understand.

"I know." Harry's voice was soft, and Draco thought he did understand. "But my life is back in England. That's where my job is: Hermione, Ron, my cousin Dudley, and little Lily. My whole world is back there."

"I guess we're at an impasse, then," Draco said. His voice sounded tight, even to his own ears. Or perhaps the word he was looking for was brittle. He felt brittle - he felt like he might just shatter into a million pieces right here in front of the man he loved. The man he'd always loved, truth be told.

Harry didn't say anything. He just stared at Draco with sad eyes.

"Well, say something, Potter!" Draco hissed, his emotions getting the best of him.

"I have to go, Draco."

"Does that mean we're over?" The words were almost impossible for Draco to force out, but he managed somehow.

"It means whatever you want it to mean, Draco. At the very least, it's going to be a while before we see each other again."

"But we will see each other again?" he asked, desperate for confirmation that his overwhelming sense of doom was unfounded.

Harry shrugged. "If that's what you want." 

Draco stared at him. "This feels an awful lot like we're breaking up."

Harry shrugged again. "It does. But I don't think there's very much either of us can do about that now." He glanced at his watch. "I've got to get going, Draco." He picked up his bag and paused as if waiting for Draco to say something.

Draco wanted to say so much, but he couldn't open his mouth. The words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to rush to Harry, but his feet were glued to the floor.

"I guess this is goodbye," Harry said. 

"I guess," Draco echoed.

Harry waited for one more heartbeat before he turned and left, closing the front door to Draco's apartment carefully behind himself.

Draco stayed where he was, too numb to move. He'd known this moment was coming as soon as he'd seen Harry in his apartment. Part of him was furious with the universe. It felt like he would never have the happiness he'd been chasing since the end of the war, but the rest of him accepted this turn of fate. He might be a good person now, but he hadn't always been. He'd done terrible things in the name of a terrible man and knew he'd be paying the price for the rest of his life. He didn't deserve happiness, not the kind that Harry was offering. Not to mention, Harry deserved so much better than him. He was a good man - a far better man than Draco would ever be - and he deserved to be in a relationship he didn't have to hide.

No, this was for the best. It was inevitable, and Draco accepted that.