Single Dad "Starting Over"(Hunter Hayes Fanfic)...Completed

Chapter 30

Here's another Chapter. I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe 4 th of July. My internet may be spotty this weekend. We are going away to a friends camp, so I'm not sure if I can post an update tomorrow. I hope I can because I really wanted to give you the first of three chapters about the heavily anticipated "Dinner Date". If I can't post tomorrow I will definitely update on Sunday evening.

Thanks so much for all your encouraging comments. It's what keeps me motivated to continue Liddy and Hunter's story.

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Liddy's POV

Thank heavens, Hunter finally released my hand and even though I miss the warmth of it, I can at least think more clearly.

"May I ask you a personal question?" He asks.

"Sure" I smile at him.

"You've mentioned a few times over the last few months, that you know how Harper feels when it comes to her relationship or lack of a relationship with her mom. Do you mind explaining what that means?"

I hang my head for a few seconds while I gather the strength I need to share with Hunter the details of a less than ideal childhood. "You might want to grab a few extra napkins. I may need them." I say with a fake laugh.

"Oh Liddy, I'm sorry, I had no idea that answering my question would be upsetting to you. There's no need to tell me a thing." Hunter is genuinely concerned. I can see it in his eyes.

"No, I'll be fine. I normally don't cry. I just like to be prepared." I say with another forced laugh. Then I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When I was just a few months older than Harper is now, my mother killed herself. She overdosed on antidepressants and alcohol. She never left a suicide note so no one knew the exact reason why she did it. Her doctors suspected it was some how related to the Postpartum Depression she suffered from, after giving birth to me."

As I take a sip of my Hot Chocolate, I look at Hunter for the first time since starting my story. He's just sitting across from me, listening intently. "I've been told she had a very bad case of PPD and even after counseling and medication she never quite returned to her normal self. She was always crying and had terrible mood swings. Although I don't remember any of it I guess there were days that she wouldn't even get out of bed to take care of, me or my sister."

"Liddy, I ...I ... I don't know what to say." I can tell he is at a loss as to what to do. So he reaches over and takes both of my hands into his.

"I'm fine, really." I squeeze his hands slightly. "Needless to say, when you loose a parent, especially a mother at such a young age it can mess you up emotionally, for awhile. It took me YEARS to work through all the different stages of the grief process, because I was only 2 years old. Initially, I blamed myself, thinking if I had just been a better daughter she wouldn't have killed herself."

I'm starting to feel tears forming, but I continue. "Then I went through the abandonment stage where I was angry that she left us. My sister, Liz says I use to cry myself to sleep each night asking my mom or God, she was never quite sure which, 'why she didn't love me enough to stay?' This was the hardest stage for me. During it you feel that you're unworthy and unlovable."

At this point, I have tears silently rolling down my face. I don't want Hunter to see them, so I look down at our hands. He must have suspected something was up because he takes one of his hands and gently places it under my chin. As he slowly lifts my face I continue to avoid his gaze. I can feel his eyes urging me to look at him, but I can't. I need a few seconds to compose myself. Eventually I glance over and what I see rocks me to my core. Hunter is sitting across from me with tears in his eyes and so much compassion on his face that I am speechless.