Taming the Green Eyed Monster

Broken Hearts

"Lee Jong In, why are you so busy lately?"

Jong In looked up to see Ji Soo and Hwan as they sat across from him on the sofa in the club room.

"Why? I'm still getting all the work done for the game."

"Hey!" she said, taking a bite of Hwan's sandwich, "that's not what I mean. I'm asking why is it so hard to see your face lately?"

Jong In tried to suppress a yawn.

Ji Soo tsked. "You're doing too much."

Jong In looked down at his chopsticks to see that there was nothing between them. He swore that he had just picked up some noodles. Perhaps he was pushing himself a little too hard. Not only was he a full time student but he was also working on a video game with deadlines and a part time job to save up to rent an apartment. And of course, there were also the dates...

And that was the real root of the matter, the reason why Jong In was trying to keep himself constantly busy. In fact, he didn't even have to work so much, his mom and sister had already said that they'd help with the deposit for the apartment and Ji Soo's timetable was more flexible than he had realized. No, he didn't need the money, he just wanted to stay busy – to bury that urge to pry.

Jong In had always had a bit of that urge when it came to Ye Jun. When they were younger, he had wanted to know where Ye Jun was, whether he was going to go out to play, and who it was he was playing with. Then as they grew older and Ye Jun began to date, Jong In wanted to know who he was dating, where they were going, how much he liked her, and just recently, whether the date would go into the night.

Most of the time, Jong In was good at controlling those urges but every so often, when his need to know overwhelmed him, he would go to Ye Jun's house just to see if he was home and if he was alone. Sometimes, he disturbed them and he had always felt guilt and shame at these signs of his inability to control himself. Ye Jun though had always welcomed him with a smile and didn't make him feel as though his desperation was pathetic, at least not until that fiasco of a night at the end of the semester party.

In the past several months, Jong In had done a good job in keeping those urges in check but lately however, with this strange dating situation, Jong In had felt more restless than he had ever in the past. He often found himself wondering just how it was that Ye Jun had started to like men and when he felt particularly self-deprecating, he wondered why he wasn't enough. It also didn't help that they lived in the age of technology and social media, which made finding out things that would surely make Jong In go a little crazy a whole lot easier.

"It looks like Si Woo and Ye Jun are having fun," said Ji Soo. Jong In looked up to see her scrolling through her phone. He didn't have to ask, he knew that they were on their date that day. It was why he had decided to come visit Ji Soo and Hwan, whom he had been inadvertently avoiding in his attempt to distance himself from Ye Jun. Ye Jun, who had made himself scarce since the following year, was suddenly always there all because of the sunbae.

Jong In swallowed. His heart throbbed. Why was he getting hurt by this again?

"Those two have gotten really close," she said, surprise in her voice. "They don't strike me as the type to become fast friends since they are both selfish and self-absorbed." She let out a snort. "Or maybe because they are so self-obsessed, they recognize themselves in each other."

Jong In gave her a weak smile as Hwan nodded and rested his chin on her shoulder, peering over it at her phone. "It almost looks like they're dating."

Jong In subconsciously willed himself not to react. They weren't wrong - they were dating in a way. But he didn't quite feel like disclosing to them the particularities of their relationship. He knew how Ji Soo would respond and he didn't quite feel like getting a lecture.