As Easy As Murder

21. petunias for the funeral

I'm sitting in the passenger of Jesse's jeep, repeatedly pulling down the hemn of my ruby red dress, beaded with specks of black, low neckline reaching cleavege, revealing freckles that litter my collerbone. 

Loretta is in a Chicken Little shirt and pajama pants. 

I wish I was wearing that, and had no suspicious guy to meet up with.

We pull into the parking lot of the adress he sent me, a family style diner with, thank the Lord, outdoor seating. The contents of my stomach thrash around, waves of worry crashing into a sea of fear and for some reason guilt, wanting to call my mommy to pick me up. 

I get out of the car against my own will, to the sound of Loretta whooping and cheering, as If bad dating is a sport. 

I emerge from the parking lot, waving to my friends for possibly the last time, heels clacking against concrete, suddenly feeling very exposed.

I see Liam looking down at his phone, wearing a tanktop and cargos, his hair gelled back. He looks different, and I gulp. The image of him, the first impression him, is gone, and I'm left looking at someone who scares me. I wonder if Kori knows this side of him. 

Damn it, still haven't gone a whole day without thinking of him. 

I sit across from Liam, and he looks up at me, charming smile appearing on his face, nothing visibly changed, yet he's so different. "Hey, thought you weren't coming for a moment there. What held you up?" 

"Uhhhh," I make up some bogus excuse. "My Mom had um..an episode." 

What the hell am I thinking?

He draws back a bit, and I want to assure him that I am equally confused with what I've just said. Anyone want to switch brains? I'm about to sell mine for parts. Maybe someone could make use of the jello it's become. 

"Oh my god. Is she okay? What kind of episode?"

My eyes widen, and I now have to come up with the type of non-existent episode my mother has had. I could say she passed out, which is a semi-normal occurrence with her diabetes, but instead, I spout out more nonsense. "Uhh..she hallucinated..again." 

WHAT? AGAIN? 

"Oh, I'm sorry she's going through that." His face scrunches up slightly. "I must say I'm confused, I thought you lived on campus? You live with your parents?" 

"No." I start. Finally, some truth. "My mom lives on campus."

Good grief. You know it was bad when I pull out the Charlie Brown lines. 

"Oh." 

I went into this thinking he was the weird one, but now i'm thinking It's time to evaluate myself. To my horror, he takes my hand, looking into his eyes passionately. Jesus, the drinks haven't even come yet. 

"You're so beautiful. And you wore red," His voice is reduced to a whisper, his eyes suddenly widening. A spark of fear goes off, alarm bells ringing in my brain. I look off into the parking lot and notice the absence of Jesse's jeep. What the hell? They abandoned me? Some friends I have. 

I look back over at him with a smile so fake and big I probably look like the insane one in this situation. 

He leans in closer, so, so prematurely. I was hoping this would never happen, nevermind pre-margarita and appetizer. 

I feel a sneeze coming. Annoyed at the bad timing of my bodily functions, I go to cover my mouth but I can't in time. 

I sneezed at him. Almost on him. ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION. ABORT SELF.

He draws back in digust, and I stand up, going to run off, wanting to go home and put on a video depicting others having a worse day than me to remind me of the possibility. He stops me, putting his hands on my arms, and then leans into kiss me. 

"What are you doing?" I try to pull away, the flashback reel rolling in my head again, staticky like an old film, a throwback reel into past years of my life. He just pulls me in again. 

"You wore red." He smirks. "I'm rewarding you." 

My instincts kick in and I push him off, then make a run for it, inner superhero making an appearance. I start off into the night, aimlessly looking for Jesse's jeep, hopelessness taking over, assuming he ran after me. 

I run down the street in absolute mindlessness, but my panic is interrupted by honking, and I turn around, relief surging through me to see Jesse's jeep, complete with Jesse. 

I get in the back, breathing heavily. Loretta puts an arm around me, her fragrance comforting me. 

"Why did you guys leave?" I hiss through forming tears. 

"We didn't," Jesse explained frantically. "We moved to a spot with better visibility, we thought you could see us. We saw what happened, we're so sorry Av." 

"That idiot didn't even wait for drinks." Loretta scoffs in disgust. 

Jesse nods, "Probably wouldn't have even offered to split the bill." 

I sigh, leaning back, sighing in annoyance, unable to believe that I let myself get lovebombed again, fooled. And sneezed on the guy who fooled me. 

"His hair looked weird." Loretta says in a reassuring voice, as if she was whispering something really sweet and kind. I just give her a look, looking up at the car ceiling, which Jesse has covered in glow in the dark stars. 

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In the hallway of my dorm, I feel frustrated. At Liam, but moreso myself. With Loretta following me, I get to the door, but a voice from behind interrupting my self-hating session. 

"Are you okay?" I turn to see Kori. 

Loretta glares at him, winks at me, and non-subtly shuffles into the dorm while making finger guns and kissy lips. God, she's the equivelant of an embarrassing nod. 

I scoff at her, then turn to face him. "Bad date." 

"With who?" 

I don't answer, opening my mouth to reveal no sound, just an awkward and empty squeak of airflow. He stands there for a minute, then puts two and two together, remembering reading Liam's number while dressing my wounds. 

"Liam?" He hisses. "What did Liam do? What did you do?"

"It's not a big deal, I shouldn't say, It's really no problem, it was all on me, really," I ramble on, and try to slip away into the dorm, but of course I raised suspicions and he puts his hand over mind on the doorknob, preventing my access. He looks down at me. 

"What did he do?"

So I run throught the whole thing, hoping and praying my expirience doesn't ruin their friendship or rustle their bond at all. His face contorts into disgust and anger as I run through it. 

"Oh pour l'amour de Dieu.." He sighs, rubbing his temples. "He can be such an idiot sometimes. I'm sure he didn't mean to be such a creep. He's not a pervert, or a jerk, or anything. He's just really stupid. I'll talk to him and explain what he did." 

I nod, and push into the dorm, but he taps my shoulder. 

I turn around and meet his eyes. 

"Don't let anyone get you down, Av. Well, unless it's me." 

He turns around and walks away down the hall, leaving me there, melting like a popsicle left out on as summer day, helpless and fading into a puddle. 

Dazed, I walk in, and stand Infront of the Blondie poster. 

I take the tape off of her eyes. 

And kiss her. 

Insane? Maybe. 

Or maybe just a girl in a world of weirdos. 

Or maybe just a girl who is a weirdo. 

A weirdo in love. 

Oh, I hate those words, In love. 

How about love-ridden? 

Yeah, better. 

I walk back out of the dorm, realizing I dropped my phone. I notice a note on the door I didn't notice before. I pick it up, praying it's no ones number. 

"'Hey honey. Just a little reminder that no matter how that day went, you're amazing. Love you sugar. 

Cheryl."

When in doubt, 

Cheryl it out.