Your Fatal Love [Charles Leclerc]

Thirty

Ronnie

It was like a flashback, the second that name slipped from his mouth I was a helpless kid sat on the doorstep waiting for hours.

I was the kid that had a drug addict for a mother and a father who didn't care.

My entire life I had spent building myself up so no would could hurt me, my walls were so high but that name. Ron, it was the only thing that could send me crashing down.

I stood in the shower as the water beaded over me, I fought the tears as I kicked him out. I just kicked him out after being so intimate with him, I never wanted to do that to him. Fuck I never wanted to make anyone feel how I just made that man feel.

I just couldn't help it, I always let my feelings and my anger take over. I hate it but I couldn't control them, I was so broken.

Charles was the only person I had told my life to, he knew my darkest secrets and yet I couldn't even tell him the small things. I can't communicate with him, he didn't deserve that not for a second.

I get out of the shower and wrap myself in towel before I reach for the door handle. I knew I had to deal with him and I really didn't want to. I didn't want to tell him why he hurt me. It would mean I had to open up even more, I would have to tell him about the worst day of my life.

I had a front that was always up, it was time to put it up once again.

The door opens and right away I see Charles sat there on the bed, he wore grey sweats and his hair was still wet. His head was dropped to the floor but when he heard the door his gaze shoots up to look at me. I watch as he stands and right away he tried to walk over to touch me, I pull away quickly. 

"Ronnie what happened talk to me?" He asks, I stand there looking at him. My heart pounded in my chest as I look at him, I didn't want to lose this man in front of me but I also knew I couldn't let him in.

"No I can't tell you" I speak softly, I had so much shit to tell him and it would be too much.

Slowly Charles brings his hands to my cheek, I allow him to touch me for a second as I look up to him. My eyes staring into his, I really had fallen in love with this man. 

"I said something what was it?"

He called me the one thing that broke me, the one thing that had killed me all those years ago. I really hated that my childhood and my past was ruining my future.

"You can't call me Ron" I speak softly, I look up at him as he takes a slight step back. It was like the realisation hit him, like a flashback he just remembered everything he said.

"Ronnie I didn't know" He speaks softly, I sigh as I pull away from him.

A small part of me hated him for being so understanding, I hated how he treated me. I hated how much he made me feel, I hated how all my feelings overtook everything.

I never wanted to feel this way to anyone.

I didn't want to ever fall for anyone.

"You didn't need to know" I speak. "It was my story and you don't need to know my past"

"Ronnie I want you" He speaks out, it was the first confession of feelings from him. The first time I really heard him say anything toward me.

I didn't want him to like me, I didn't need him to confess things. I could never be with this man, I could never be with any man.

"You can't have me Charles" I sigh, Charles drops my hand he looks at me there was hurt in his eyes.

I knew I was hurting him, I had hurt him from the first day we met. I knew I would hurt anyone that I was with, I had too many issues. I had too many problems and I could never put that on anyone.

"Why not Ronnie" He snaps at me, I could see it in his eyes the anger.

He truly hated me right now and inside that made me break but it also made me happy as I knew that he would hate me enough to forget about me.

I didn't want to hurt him, I wanted him to hate me so he could move on.

No matter how much I had fallen for him, I knew he would never be happy with me.

"Why do you always push me away Ronnie?" He sighs.

I look at him as I sigh, I wanted to tell him how I felt but I also didn't at the same time. I couldn't be vulnerable in front of this man, I would crumble at the first hurdle if I did.

As I look into his eyes I know I had to tell him the truth. I couldn't hold back my feelings, I couldn't hold it back at all.

"I ruin everything and everyone Charles, I refuse to ruin the one person I actually care about" I felt tears begin to well in my eyes.

I wanted him but I also didn't want to ruin him, I knew I would ruin him. It would be way too easy to break this man, I broke everyone I cared about.

"Break me Ronnie, break me and ruin me I don't care. I want you and I want you no matter what happens, you can ruin my life. You can scream at me, shout at me tell me you hate me but I promise you I am not leaving" He tells me as he holds my face.

I wanted him.

I didn't know if I could ruin him, even if he was sure he wanted me to.

"Charles you don't mean that-"

"I mean it, I want you Ronnie no matter what but you need to tell me you want me back"

I look at him and fuck I wanted to tell him I wanted him back. I do want him back of course I do, but I can't ruin another persons life.

"I can't make that decision"

"Stay with me here, just stay with me for a week and I promise you the decision will make itself"

"I'm not promising you anything"

"I'd expect nothing less" He sighs before he leans down and crashes his lips onto mine. "Just let me have you"

"For this week" I tell him as I reattach our lips together.

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SHOULD SHE LET HIM IN?!

Lots of love
Zoe xoxo